Looking For Love
by Kryzanna
Summary: Every Valentine's Day, Naruto's work hosts an event for lonely singles and this year he's determined to NOT be one of them. He's a romantic at heart, but with work, and helping his friends with their plans, how can he expect to fall in love when he can't even get a date? Or does love already have something interesting in store for him? Contains yaoi and lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome all! I just had a burning desire to write something with bartenders, and well, I love love, so here we are. I haven't been uploading as many fics or as recently as I would've liked... so here's my little apology for that! Hope you enjoy my dears. **

**WARNING: *CONTAINS YAOI* and will also contain **LEMONS****

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

* * *

There was a pained yell from somewhere in the background. Naruto Uzumaki, aged twenty-five, didn't so much as look over his shoulder as he busied himself with pouring up a new drink for the man sitting in front of him. It was prime time on Saturday the first of February at Club Akatsuki; one of the local joints, where Naruto worked as a bartender, and at the moment, he was engaged in a conversation with yet another hopelessly-in-love man seeking advice from a stranger.

"On the house," he assured the guy who had been just about to reach for his wallet, " –So tell me man; why do you keep chasing after her even if she's made it very clear that you guys are just friends?"

"I don't know," the man muttered morosely as he took a deep gulp of the drink; Naruto downing a shot with him, "I guess…sometimes you just know what's right, right? I love her just…so much…and I don't know if she'll ever stop thinking of me as a friend…"

" –Well, actions speak louder than words, buddy," Naruto admitted with a shrug; sliding a pair of glasses filled with water down the bar towards two rather intoxicated females. "Take her on a date. Show up with flowers. Show her you can be romantic –alternatively…" He chuckled mischievously to himself, "…Go on up that dance-floor and suck some poor girl's face in front of her. If that doesn't make her see that you are a sexual, desirable object, then my whole life has been a lie."

The man looked up from the bar across to the other side of the large room where there was a stage and dance floor blasting with music. He seemed to spy the girl in question, because he knocked back the remainder of his drink and with a deep exhale, headed over; a man on a mission.

A tall, white-haired male approached Naruto from behind the bar with a sympathetic smirk.

"Another lonely heart?" he chuckled.

" –You know it," Naruto sighed in pity, "Nice guy though."

"…You told him to go hook up?" he inquired.

"As always," Naruto shrugged with a laugh before collecting up the empty glasses and adding them to a tray for washing. "Suigetsu; when has that advice _ever_ failed!"

"…Um, every single time _you've_ tried it," Suigetsu laughed and Naruto pouted crossly at his co-worker, whipping him with a tea towel. This wasn't the first lonely heart he'd encountered that night, and it wasn't going to be the last, either. He didn't mind though. He loved hearing peoples' stories and being able to offer some friendly advice. Even if they weren't having romantic problems, he liked talking to people. That was what was so great about being a bartender; getting to meet so many new, different people -all the time.

" –By the way, what was all the yelling about?" Naruto inquired curiously but Suigetsu just waved away the question as though it wasn't important.

"Deidara punched some guy again," he replied nonchalantly, "Almost broke the guy's nose."

"_Again_?" Naruto sighed heavily, beaming out into the crowd of people swarming up to the bar as he began mixing drinks at lightning speed. "Good punch though?"

"Hell yeah," Suigetsu chortled, " –He may look like a girl, but he sure as hell doesn't hit like one."

"That's sexist," Naruto scolded playfully and Suigetsu held up his hands defensively as he began pouring a line of tequila shots.

"Hey; I've been punched by a lot of girls; and I'd take those hits any day over one of Deidara's," Suigetsu laughed and Naruto chuckled along with him. "Anyway; Itachi's smoothing it over…" The pair of them looked up at the exit in time to see a man being dragged out by a giant blue man; their new bouncer, Kisame. Their boss; Itachi, was stalking alongside him; obviously seeing the troublemaker out –and though the Uchiha was a good deal shorter than the bouncer, he had an incredibly imposing presence.

"Deidara's gonna be in _trouble_," Suigetsu cackled gleefully, sniggering to himself as a pretty young woman with pink hair stuck her head around the corner of the large, U-shaped bar.

"Naruto, come around this side, would you?" Sakura called lightly, "You're swapping with Deidara." Suigetsu and Naruto smirked at each other and bumped fists before Naruto sauntered off around to the other side of the bar –the side closest to the dance floor, and hence the side that was usually filled with drunken, sleazy men.

A blonde male with long hair half pulled up in a ponytail stalked past Naruto with a malevolently pleased look on his face. Naruto rolled his eyes at Deidara's expression; it was the satisfied look of someone who had just punched a guy and not gotten in trouble for it.

" 'What's a pretty lady like you doing in a place like this' line again?" Naruto inquired of Sakura as he started clearing away some of the glasses lining the bar.

"Pretty much," Sakura sighed heavily, but unable to repress a giggle, "Has anyone thought of telling him that if he doesn't want to get mistaken for a girl, he shouldn't dress like one?"

"And get punched?" Naruto exclaimed with a grin, "The cropped tops look good on him." Sakura peered around the corner and had a quick glance over what Deidara was wearing; a loose t-shirt that fell to mid-abdomen, and a pair of ass-hugging blank pants that made her wish she had the butt to fill them.

"That is not fair," she harrumphed crossly; spinning back to face Naruto, "His ass is cuter than mine! No wonder he gets hit on more than me!"

"If I'm being honest; if I'm going to get rejected and punched –I'd probably prefer to get hit by Deidara," Naruto winced; rubbing his cheek at the memory of the last time she'd punched him. It hadn't been a very pleasant experience. She still maintained that he'd deserved it.

Business resumed as normal; Sakura flirting like a pro with the guys who bought drinks from her; hoping to get tips; while Naruto chatted amiably with anyone who seemed to want to talk. Unfortunately, since he was on the "club side" of the bar, and not the "bar side", it wasn't so much about friendly (or depressed) conversation as much as it was about getting smashed.

Not to mention that the few cute girls who happened to purchase drinks from him didn't seem to have any time for him –even looking a little disappointed when he didn't charge them.

"What's the big deal?" Naruto complained to Sakura as he sighed; surprised to find that his section of the bar was now practically empty –all the men flocking to Sakura. Sakura just rolled her eyes with a sigh and jerked her thumb down towards the other end. Naruto's gaze shifted in the direction indicated and he groaned dramatically.

"That is not _fair_!" he complained flatly.

At the other end of the bar was the final bartender; dressed in a navy blue dress shirt; sleeves rolled up, several buttons undone –spinning two bottles of vodka in his hands like it was nothing as he prepared shot after shot for beautiful girls who were practically swooning over him.

"_What_ do they see in him?" Naruto complained flatly; leaning on the bar in a little bit of awe at how Sasuke Uchiha was managing to mix drinks like he didn't give a shit; and look so casual while doing it. And he was going to wind up with probably more tips than the rest of them combined.

"I don't know," Sakura commented cheekily as she too leaned on the bar and watched him, "Maybe it's his sexy, broody face; that dark, silent, mysterious personality…or just his eyes…they're so deep, you know? God, he really is such a _handsome _man. I just hate how beautiful and perfect he is!"

"…Still won't be your date for Valentine's?" Naruto chuckled sympathetically.

"Yeah, you know it," Sakura muttered, rolling her eyes and straightening up again, "Can't blame a girl for trying though, right?"

"Tch…" Naruto scoffed in mock jealousy, "I don't see what's great about him anyway; so what if he has pretty hair or –I quote 'sultry eyes'…" He mimed gagging on the very words. "…I don't see why every girl wants him…"

"Still don't have a date for Valentine's?" Sakura remarked conversationally and he shook his head dejectedly.

"I swear; I am not going to be rostered on for Valentine's Day this year," he declared flatly; quickly serving up a line of vodka shots and accepting payment, "Every year I wind up working because I 'don't have plans'…" He pouted cutely and Sakura had to laugh at him, "This year, I'll make plans so Itachi can't get me to work at the Lonely Night Out. It's a depressing way to spend Valentine's!"

"Good luck with that," Sakura chirped brightly, " –But remember that you said that you'd set me up with someone this year? You promised."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled; looking over to that Sasuke was setting away the bottles he'd been using –taking advantage of the fact that no one was fawning over him over the bar for the moment. "I'm getting round to it. Oi, bastard –where are you going?"

"I'm due a break," Sasuke sniffed flatly as he stalked past, "Some of us actually do work around here, moron." Naruto bristled at the jab but stuck out his tongue childishly at him. This actually got a small smirk from the broody raven, so Naruto counted it as a smile, and therefore a victory.

"Hey, when you get back; bet I can serve more people in ten minutes than you," the blonde goaded.

"You're dreaming," Sasuke scoffed superiorly.

" –You win, I'll buy you a drink," Naruto chuckled.

"…When was the last time you _paid_ for a drink here?" the raven rolled his eyes as he ran a hand back through his dark bangs. Naruto just shrugged cheekily; elbowing his old friend slash most hated person in the world in the stomach as he passed. "Fine; but don't complain when you lose."

"I don't complain when I lose," Naruto defended hotly.

" –You do," Sakura reminded him flatly, "Every time Sasuke beats you in something you kick up a huge fuss." Naruto pouted; glaring at the pair of them who exchanged wicked smirks. Well, that was what happened when you worked with people you'd known since primary school; they ganged up on you. He'd thought he was in love with Sakura for a long time…but after he'd been rejected enough times, he'd realised that he really was a lot better off with her as a friend. She kept him, well, realistic.

And having Sasuke around wasn't always terrible; even if he did always attract every available woman (and often some unavailable) in the vicinity. The pair of them were ridiculously competitive by nature (which had caused a lot of conflict in the early years of their acquaintance) but after so much time now, they'd sort of gotten used to it. Sasuke had even gotten Naruto the job at Club Akatsuki, since his brother owned it.

Said brother, Itachi, was currently returning to the bar; apparently having finished business with whoever had made the mistake of hitting on Deidara.

"Where's that Deidara…" Itachi inquired flatly; looking a little unimpressed as he stalked past the pair of them. Three thumbs jerked towards the other half of the bar and Itachi stuck his nose in the air; probably off to berate the blonde for having almost started _another_ brawl.

* * *

It was finally nearing closing time, and to Naruto's relief the club was practically dead by now. Like most Saturday nights, the bartenders had been practically run off their feet; and Suigetsu was already lounging over at one of the tables with a beer while Sakura mopped the floor.

"…Can't believe Itachi's making me fucking clean the bathrooms again, yeah…" Deidara grumbled as he stalked towards the bathrooms with a mop.

" –Dei; you _punched_ a dude," Naruto hollered with a laugh as he slid a lemonade down the bar to his redheaded friend, Gaara; who was his ride home. Deidara was heard to be muttering mutinous things as he disappeared into the restrooms. "So Gaara; what are your plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Do I need to make plans?" Gaara inquired flatly as Naruto wiped down the counter before gratefully accepting one of the drinks that Sasuke had made the staff at Itachi's request as a reward for coping so well that evening.

"Well _yeah_," Naruto exclaimed, "I mean; it's _Valentine's Day_! A day to fall in love and celebrate love!"

"…If you're in love, shouldn't you be celebrating it every day?" Gaara remarked flatly; rolling his eyes as he drank his lemonade. "I don't see what's so special about Valentine's Day."

" –Gaara, you should know Naruto by now," Sakura teased; flicking the blonde's cheek as she wandered past, "He loves love." Naruto blushed and pouted at her. "We started the Lonely Night Out on Valentine's at his request; so that all the lonely hearts could 'have somewhere to be lonely together, and maybe fall in love' –am I right, Naruto?" She giggled again and Naruto glared at her; not appreciating her teasing.

" –Don't you usually work on Valentine's Day?" Gaara reminded him with a raised eyebrow and he sighed heavily.

"Yeah; but hopefully not this year," he admitted hopefully, "But if I am; you'll come down and hang out with me…right?"

"…Sure," Gaara shrugged, "Nothing better to do, I suppose."

"For someone so obsessed with falling in love, you do pretty poorly at getting a date," Sasuke commented flatly.

"It'll happen!" Naruto squawked indignantly as he swatted the raven with his tea towel, "I've got a good feeling about this year, okay?"

"Yeah…maybe one of those 'lonely hearts' will fall in love with you at the Lonely Night Out," Suigetsu hollered from across the room. Naruto flicked him his middle finger in response as they all heard a string of curses coming from one of the bathrooms.

" –How is Deidara not fired yet?" Sakura sighed with a small laugh.

"…He gives Itachi an excuse to call one of the bouncers over," Naruto chuckled slyly.

"What was that, Naruto?" Itachi Uchiha's calm voice inquired from somewhere nearby and the blonde immediately put on his best innocent face.

"Nothing, Itachi," he assured him; his expression angelic. Itachi didn't buy it for a moment. "What's Dei swearing about?"

"He got hit on again," Itachi informed him; a smile dancing around the corners of his lips, "Same guy who's tried it before; tall guy with the slicked back hair? Said his name was Hidan or something like that."

"Sleazy pickup lines?" Naruto queried.

"That's the one," Itachi chuckled, "He's always drunk so it really bothers Deidara that he keeps getting mistaken for a girl _every time_." The staff members all sniggered to themselves –except for Sasuke, who simply smirked and left a handful of scraps of paper on the bench as he headed for the door.

"Oi; bastard, don't just leave your shit here," Naruto complained; having just finished clearing it. He looked down at the mass of paper and his eyes widened.

Every single piece contained a phone number.

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding!" he exclaimed crossly; looking up incredulously as Sasuke looked back over his shoulder with a sly smirk. "You got _all_ these numbers? Just from tonight?"

"Seriously, dude; how are you _not_ sneaking away to get laid during shifts?" Suigetsu's mouth dropped open in astonishment, "If I was you, I would be having _so much sex_!" Sasuke just scoffed at these suggestions.

" –You're not going to call _any_ of them?" Naruto gasped, counting out the scraps; there were at least twenty there.

"None of them interested me," he shrugged casually and then mockingly added, "Keep them. Maybe you'll be able to actually get a date with one of them…" Naruto swiped the numbers off the counter aggresively; making a big show of even tearing one up.

"I don't need your 'seconds'!" he snapped irritably; folding his arms crossly, "I can totally get a date myself!" Sasuke just shrugged and stalked out of the bar; having just clocked out. Naruto glared out after him for a moment until Sakura laid a hand on his shoulder companionably.

"…You want me to help pick them up?" she inquired with a small laugh.

"Yeah," Naruto muttered; immediately vaulting over the bar and landing amidst the scraps of paper, "I think a couple of them had names on them too…"

"Now that is sad," Gaara chuckled in amusement; watching Naruto quickly collect up the pieces of paper and examine them to see if the numbers were decipherable.

"Hey, hey, no judging!" Naruto snorted; sticking his tongue out, "You don't care about getting a date for Valentine's! I do. Is it so wrong to want to have someone to take out; and treat them like a princess…and maybe even fall instantly in love?"

"Oh here we go…" Itachi muttered as the room rolled their eyes; having heard Naruto's various romanticised speeches one too many times.

" –Pfft, love at first sight?" Gaara raised a sceptical eyebrow, "Love takes time. You should have to _grow_ to love someone…"

"Okay, that's enough for now," Sakura sighed heavily as she cuffed Naruto around the back of the head, "I'll see you for work on Monday; and we have to start properly getting everything ready for the Lonely Night Out. Good luck finding a date, Naruto." She blew him a mocking kiss as she too gathered up her gear and headed for the door. Naruto let out a sigh as he watched her leave.

"She's so _nice_," he snorted, "I don't see why Sasuke won't just date her already."

"Yeah," Suigetsu remarked sarcastically, "I totally wouldn't have any clue. She's the epitome of all things female…except for her mean right hook; am I right, Itachi?"

"My little brother's reasoning is completely beyond me…" Itachi agreed flatly. Naruto raised an eyebrow at them but they just shrugged.

"Maybe it's like how Sakura wouldn't date me because we're just good friends," he mused to himself with a shrug.

In any case, he was determined that _this year_ things would be different. Things would be special, and he would find someone! He'd always imagined falling in love, and he couldn't wait for it to happen –but first, there was finding a date…and finding someone to set up Sakura with…and of course he still had to help plan the Lonely Night Out.

There was so much to be done, and Valentine's Day was only two weeks away!

* * *

**Ahh, I do so love Valentine's Day; I mean even when I don't have someone to spend it with, it's such a cute day!  
So Naruto thinks he's going to find true love this year? Well, from the looks of it (and looking at his track record), that doesn't seem too likely; but that doesn't mean he's given up yet! **

**Stay tuned (and maybe review) to see how he tries to make love happen! (Even if it isn't necessarily for himself.)**

**Love, as always**

**xx K**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh how I love awkward stories about love. Oh how I love a romanticist Naruto. Chapter two!**

* * *

" –No, no, please don't hang up –" Naruto begged, only to have the twelfth girl hang up on him. He laid the work phone back in its cradle with a mournful look on his face. Sakura looked over at him sympathetically as he mimed having a miniature breakdown.

"Sakura, what's wrong with me?" he complained flatly, "Tell me; do I have a funny accent? Or a gross lisp? Or am I grossly disfigured in some way that I can't see?"

"…What are you talking about?" Sakura inquired flatly; cocking an eyebrow at him as she busied herself with drying off some glasses. They weren't too busy tonight; it was only a Monday after all; the only patrons of the bar were guys looking out to have a relaxing drink after a stressful start of the week. And the local drunks of course.

"I mean I know I'm nothing like Sasuke," the blonde continued to babble, "But I like to think that maybe I'm a kind of attractive guy. I'm nice, right? I don't smell?"

"Seriously, Naruto," Sakura rolled her eyes and he sighed, jabbing an accusatory finger at the phone.

"I've been calling those girls that gave their numbers to Sasuke," he informed her flatly, "_None_ of them want to go on a date with me. _None _of them! None of them even _remember_ me? How is that even possible?" He clutched at his hair in despair and let out a dry sob, "They all just hang up…or tell me I'm a stalker…"

"You'll find someone," Sakura commented gently; patting him on the back to comfort him, "You're probably just looking in all the wrong places. Maybe there's someone right in front of you and you just haven't spotted them. And no, that doesn't mean me," she added with a chuckle. Naruto just made a mutinous grumble about her being a tease.

"…Yeah, yeah, I found you a date," he muttered; handing her a phone number, "My friend Sai from summer camp? He's an artist now and he said he'd be glad to be your date for Valentine's." Sakura immediately wrapped him in an excited bear hug. He made an 'oof' as he heard his joints all creak in protest at the strength of her hug.

"You're the best!" she exclaimed in delight, "What's he like? Is he cute? Funny? Artsy; that's cool…"

"I suppose he's cute…for a guy?" Naruto raised an eyebrow; thinking of Sai and trying to figure out if the word 'cute' was the right word to describe him. "He's got dark hair, pale skin…he's quite serious but he's a nice guy." Sakura nodded thoughtfully and clapped her hands gleefully.

"Ooh this is so exciting," she giggled, "Oh, by the way, do you think you could find someone for Ino as well? She doesn't want to be alone on Valentine's either…"

"Why don't I take her out?" Naruto offered, "That way –"

"I don't think so," Sakura declined quickly and his face immediately fell, "I mean…that…I don't really think you're her type…" She laughed awkwardly and he pouted. "I'm sure you'll find someone though; someone that you fit with better than Ino."

"Fine," he muttered, "I…I suppose I can find someone for her?" Sakura beamed at him and headed off down the bar with a cheery wave; leaving Naruto glaring at the nearest bottle of alcohol miserably.

"What's with the long face?" a loud, obnoxious voice inquired brightly, and Naruto looked up to see his good friend Kiba Inuzuka walking into the bar. The wild-haired brunette took a seat on one of the bar stools and Naruto obligingly poured him a pint of his favourite beer.

"Valentine's Day," Naruto grumbled, "Can't find a date. Everyone seems to prefer Sasuke over me."

"The dude's banging," Kiba shrugged, "If I was a chick, I'd totally go there."

"No argument there," Suigetsu agreed; having come out from the kitchen at the sound of Kiba's voice. The pair greeted each other with a fist pound as Suigetsu flicked his tea towel over his shoulder lazily, "Heard you set up Sakura for V-day. Could you do me a solid and grab me a date too? Not that Ino chick though; not into blondes."

"Are you kidding me?" Naruto complained good-naturedly, but immediately folded when Suigetsu flicked him a cheeky grin. "Fine. But you owe me! And Kiba; like you'd stand a chance with Sasuke if you were a chick!"

"I so would!" Kiba sniffed haughtily, "I'd have massive tits and that messy-sexy hair that some chicks have…" Suigetsu and Naruto both burst out laughing at the mental image of Kiba as a woman; laughter that apparently Kiba didn't appreciate. "Come on guys, I'd totally be hot enough to hook up with Sasuke…" Suigetsu and Naruto immediately stifled their sniggers, and Naruto cheekily pointed over Kiba's shoulder. The brunette turned to discover that Sasuke had actually just been serving a table right behind him and was leering at him coldly.

"I'm not into bestiality," was the Uchiha's haughty response. Kiba's mouth fell open at the implication as Naruto and Suigetsu burst out into a fresh chorus of laughter at the combination of aghast look on their friend's face and Sasuke's thoroughly unimpressed glare.

"Shut up, guys," Kiba grumbled flatly into his drink. Finally, Suigetsu and Naruto managed to get their sniggers under control. "Speaking of Valentine's…" he rolled his eyes, "It's so much drama. Like, women are such trouble." Naruto leaned heavily on the bar in interest.

"So get this," Kiba sighed heavily, "My sister's friends with Temari…and she wants Shikamaru to take her on a date for Valentine's Day. But apparently Temari doesn't want to ask him…so she's pretending that she doesn't care about it; but Shikamaru thinks she _actually_ doesn't care about it so isn't acting on it…so Temari's getting angry at him and he doesn't know why…" He trailed off vaguely and took a deep scull of his drink.

"…Are they dating yet?" Suigetsu inquired curiously.

"Nope," Kiba replied flatly, "Too stubborn."

" –Haven't they been in love for like, years?" he remarked incredulously.

"Yep," Naruto and Kiba rolled their eyes.

"I do _not_ understand," Suigetsu admitted with a sigh. "She's like the bossiest person in the world and he couldn't give less fucks about anything! Now he won't get off his ass, and she won't stop being stubborn…How the fuck did they fall in love?"

"That's what I love," Naruto exclaimed in delight, "I mean come on! That's what's so great about love; it's so unpredictable! You call literally fall in love with _anyone_!"

" –It's tiresome," a cold voice interjected snobbily, and the three men looked over to discover that another two people had joined the bar, "Two martinis, Naruto; thanks."

"Sure thing, Neji," Naruto chuckled to himself; pushing off from the bar and grabbing two martini glasses, "Hey there, Hinata," he added; spying Neji's beautiful, quiet cousin hovering nervously at his elbow, "Sakura! Hinata's here!"

A pink head appeared from around the corner and green eyes lit up in delight as Sakura headed over to greet her friend.

"Why so bored with love, Neji?" Naruto inquired curiously, "Tis the season for it!"

"I didn't say it was boring," Neji corrected standoffishly, "I said it was tiresome. It's so much effort to put into meeting someone and getting to know them, and making small talk to figure out if you're compatible…Ugh…" He gratefully accepted the drink placed before him. "Makes me tired just thinking about it."

"I don't think you get what 'falling in love' is about," the blonde sighed; his eyes misting over, "You just…_know_. You just get a feeling, and you know that it's right! You really know how to make a beautiful thing sound tedious, Neji…"

" –Have you ever fallen in love?" Neji remarked flatly.

"…Well…no…" Naruto admitted sheepishly, "But I bet when I meet the right person, I'll just know; right, Sasuke?"

"I'm not taking part in this," Sasuke snapped with a scoff as he stalked past with a tray of beers, "How's the date hunt going?" He flashed the blonde a smirk and Naruto pouted crossly.

"I'm getting there!" he grouched crossly, "You guys are so unromantic."

"I'm realistic," Neji sniffed with a shrug, "And then there's Shikamaru and Temari…who everyone knows are in love; but they're not going to work –anyone can see that. They're too different."

"Opposites attract," Naruto smirked back, "Love works in mysterious ways."

"Don't quote clichés at us," Kiba rolled his eyes dramatically.

" –Well, it's true," he sniffed flatly, "If two people are in love, then it's bound to work, right? It doesn't matter who they are…They want to be together, so they make it work. True love, man –"

"Not this again…" Deidara complained flatly as he appeared from the kitchen, "Seriously, Naruto, you do this speech every year, yeah. Suigetsu; if Itachi asks why I'm not doing dishes, I'm on my break, yeah? Naruto; you wouldn't know your true love if it was standing right next to you." Naruto blinked at the slightly shorter blonde and obligingly looked over at Suigetsu.

"…Are you in love with me?" he asked, deadpanned. Suigetsu let out a snort of laughter. "Coz it's totally okay if you are. I mean, what's not to love about me?"

"…Obviously quite a lot, if you can't a date for the one day of the year when women can be desperate and not be judged for it," Sasuke commented flatly as he returned from the tables. Everyone present sniggered at Naruto's expense as he glared around at them.

"Oh yeah?" he sniffed, "What about you? Got a hot date in mind?"

"You could say that," Sasuke replied smoothly; a smug smirk playing around the edges of his lips –making Naruto rather feel like punching him. "I've had offers."

"Must be nice, not having to chase anyone," Naruto snorted crossly, "Having free access to anyone you want…" He poured a beer for himself and glared at Sasuke as the other man had the nerve to swipe it from his hand.

"Where's the fun in that?" Sasuke remarked with a shrug, "Besides, if they're not right, then what's the point?"

"Ooh; Sasuke Uchiha; a closet romantic?" Naruto teased; elbowing him in the ribs playfully.

"…Sure seems that way," Suigetsu and Deidara deadpanned; only to receive an irritated Uchiha glare from Sasuke.

"Well, if you don't call the girls, then how will you know if they're right?" the blonde persisted; referring the large amount of phone numbers that the Uchiha always seemed to accumulate. Sasuke just shrugged; throwing his tea towel in his face.

" –Like you said; you just know," he replied flatly, "I'm taking my break. Neji, want a drink?"

"Anything to get away from this conversation," Neji muttered in relief; heading over to find a table away from the racket of the bar.

"You know, Hinata, your cousin really needs to lighten up," Sakura remarked to Hinata; watching him head over, "Also, did you find out what kind of conditioner he uses? His hair looks fabulous…" Hinata giggled politely in agreement; not wanting to openly mock her cousin.

"H-He doesn't really believe in love," she informed them in her sweet, quiet voice, "He just thinks that when you find someone similar and 'compatible' and spend time with them, people mix up 'familiarity' with 'love'."

"Before this Valentine's Day is through, I will make a believer of Neji!" Naruto vowed; but not loud enough for Neji to be able to hear. Everyone laughed at him. His beliefs really were quite unshakeable, but they loved him for it.

* * *

That evening progressed as most evenings did at Club Akatsuki. Since it was just a casual Monday, the club area was closed off; leaving a much wider area for the bar. Naruto's friends had departed after a few casual drinks; leaving the bartenders to amuse themselves with the antics of the increasingly drunk patrons.

" –Fucking unbelievable, yeah," Deidara grumbled aggressively as he stalked into the kitchen where Naruto and Suigetsu were busy washing dishes. The bar didn't usually need all of them working, but since they usually made a plump amount of tips, Itachi wasn't going to deny them the work.

"Who this time?" Suigetsu inquired innocently.

"Same idiot that's always here on Monday nights," Deidara muttered mutinously, "That Tobi guy. Fucking split personality, I tell you, yeah. One minute he's all 'virgin mojito' then after he knocks that back, it's all 'single malt whiskey' and 'how about you take a break and let me fuck you'."

"Jesus," Suigetsu remarked flatly. "And he knows you're a dude?"

"…Judging by other things he's said…" Deidara commented; blushing slightly, "…Yeah. Yeah, he knows."

"So why not?" Suigetsu shrugged, "Itachi won't mind."

"I'm above sleazes like him, yeah," Deidara snapped hotly.

" –You complain about guys who want into your pants…and then bitch about when they don't," he rolled his eyes dramatically, "Seriously, Dei?" Immediately, Deidara's eyes flashed in irritation.

"Oh, you want to see why I 'bitch about guys not wanting in my pants'?" he snapped, "Fine!" He flung down his tea towel into the sink and stalked back to the bar. Naruto and Suigetsu, always intrigued by Deidara's strange mood swings; scampered after him. The pair of them broke out into sniggers as they saw Deidara leaning provocatively against the bar; finger in his mouth.

"Why's Deidara doing that?" Sakura inquired with a raised eyebrow, "I mean, cute outfit and all…" Today he was wearing a long-sleeved fishnet shirt with a different crop-top over it. They all suppressed laughs as coughs as Deidara licked his lips invitingly in the direction of a man sitting alone down the end of the bar.

The man sidled closer.

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura complained, "That guy's sexy as hell!"

"…Can't be if he's drinking alone on a Monday night…" Suigetsu muttered.

"Sssh!" Naruto hissed, "This is getting good!" They cringed as Deidara gave the man a flirty, sultry look and tossed his hair coyly before leaning on the bar with a playful look in his eyes.

"Hey sweet thing," the man remarked with a wink, "What's a beautiful girl like you doing working in a place like this?" Instead of answering, Deidara just shrugged with a sweet smirk and the man licked his lips right back. "How about I give you my number? You can give me a call some time?" Deidara coyly bit his index finger with a shy nod before leaning in slightly.

" –I'm a dude, yeah," he remarked flatly; in his obvious masculine voice. Naruto had never seen a man turn so white and flee so fast; swearing as he did so. Deidara turned to face them with an arm pointing at the swinging-shut door; as if to prove his point.

"I am strangely aroused," Suigetsu deadpanned.

"Same here," Sakura commented flatly, "If I was a straight man, I'd turn gay for you, Deidara."

"I think you all missed the part where he freaked out and ran away, yeah?" Deidara snapped angrily, "Fuck this. Men are pigs. I'm horny and need a self-esteem boost." On that note, he stalked over to the opposite end of the bar where the guy; Tobi –who always hit on Deidara on Mondays –was sitting. After literally a sentence of conversation, Tobi got up, and Deidara dragged him towards the bathrooms.

"He's better at flirting than me," Sakura realised.

" –Like, I don't even feel straight anymore," Suigetsu remarked; still staring at the spot where Deidara had been standing, "Naruto; kiss me, quick!"

"I'm not kissing you!" Naruto complained.

"You should totally kiss him," Sakura commented slyly, "Just so he can remind himself that he's not into dudes." Before Naruto had time to react, Sakura had pushed his face forwards and his mouth connected roughly with Suigetsu's.

After a few seconds of their lips pressing together, Naruto felt the force on his head lift and wrenched backwards; both he and Suigetsu glaring openly at a mischievous Sakura.

" –I wasn't _serious_!" Suigetsu complained, "On the plus side; totally not into dudes."

"Does anyone mind telling me why the pair of you were just kissing?" Itachi's firm voice inquired in an amused tone. Naruto and Suigetsu looked over and took a step back when they encountered both Uchiha brothers peering at them with blank expressions.

"Funny story…Deidara…" Suigetsu coughed awkwardly.

" –Where is he?" Itachi asked, looking down the bar and not seeing the rowdy blonde.

"Having sex in the bathroom," Sakura replied innocently, "I mean…on a break…" Itachi just let out a low sigh and rolled his eyes, saying, "If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the front section –"

"…Of course you will be," his employees all muttered under their breaths.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked darkly.

"Nothing, Itachi," they assured him; looking the absolute epitome of innocence. He looked at them suspiciously but nonetheless headed out the front to where there were a couple slightly more intoxicated individuals that might need to be escorted by the bouncer.

"That was mean, Sakura," Naruto snapped with a pout as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "That was my first kiss with a guy!"

"Not true," she scoffed, and he raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Remember in gym class in high school? You kissed Sasuke?" Naruto's mouth fell open in shock and shot a quick look at a sniggering Suigetsu and then over to a scowling Sasuke.

"T-That doesn't count!" he exclaimed; flushing bright red, "It was an accident! Doesn't count!"

"Ahh yes…an accident…that's right…" Sakura remarked nostalgically. "It was hilarious though…"

"As much as I love being embarrassed and uncomfortable…" Naruto snapped, sticking his tongue out at her. "How long until Itachi starts pulling a Deidara on Kisame over there?" Suigetsu and Sakura cackled to themselves at the thought of Itachi seducing the massive bouncer Deidara-style.

"I obviously missed something," Sasuke deadpanned; folding his arms and waiting to be filled in. Naruto roared with laughter and struck up a pose against the bar; sticking his ass and chest out in parody of Deidara's stance. He flicked his hair wildly and licked his lips dramatically. He stuck his finger in his mouth; exaggeratedly biting it and raising his eyebrows mock-seductively.

Sasuke actually chuckled; facepalming at how ridiculous Naruto looked.

"Am I sexy yet?" Naruto asked jokingly, turning his back to them and looking over his shoulder with a flamboyant head toss. They all burst out laughing openly; even Sasuke.

"I don't know how you do it," Suigetsu roared, slapping Naruto on the shoulder as he bowed dramatically, "I swear, you're the only one who can make Sasuke laugh!"

"That's because I'm both adorable _and_ hilarious," Naruto smirked; shouldering Sasuke companionably as he passed.

"You're an _idiot_, that's what," Sasuke rolled his eyes with a sigh; though there was still a small smile playing on his lips. "Drink?"

"Definitely," Naruto agreed, "Being Deidara is hard work! Hey, Sakura; bet you'd get more numbers if you flirted like that!"

" –Yeah right," Sakura scoffed with a smirk as Naruto and Sasuke began fixing them all drinks in tandem. "Oh, by the way; remember how you have to do the shopping for the Lonely Night Out decorations."

"I have to do that every year," he complained good naturedly; clinking glasses with Sasuke and then with Suigetsu.

"Well that's because since you're there every year, you know what decorations go best," Sasuke smirked. Naruto elbowed him crossly and pouted as the others laughed at him.

"You guys are mean," he sniffed, "Have some faith; I will not be forever alone this year!"

* * *

**Naruto has such a wonderful view on what love is like. Meanwhile, he's got dates to find for his friends and shopping to do for an event he *reaaaally* doesn't want to attend! **

**I love the friendships these workmates have, so I'll hopefully be updating soooooon. Leave a review? Maybe? No matter; hope you enjoyed chapter two!**

**xx K**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wednesday 5****th**** February**

* * *

"So Naruto, you reckon you could maybe hook me up?"

"Kiba…I'd love to help you, but I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment!" Naruto hissed into his phone; pressing back against the wall he was hiding behind and slyly sneaking a quick peek out from between the fronds of a potted plant.

" –Why are you whispering?" Kiba inquired from the other end of the phone; sounding very confused. "But seriously man, you think you could maybe make plans with Neji? I really wanna take Hinata out for Valentine's Day but if Neji's around then he'll know."

"Why don't you just tell Neji you want to date his cousin?" Naruto remarked quietly, sidling out from behind his hiding spot and scanning the food court warily, "…Targets are not in sight. I think the coast is clear…"

"What _are_ you doing?" Kiba sighed, "And I can't do that! Neji doesn't think I'm nearly good enough for Hinata! No way he lets me take her out if he knows about it."

"I'm at the mall," Naruto whispered tentatively, "I'm meant to be shopping for decorations for the Lonely Night Out and the Strippers and Hoes party we're having on Saturday night –you should totally come to that, by the way."

"I actually might," Kiba admitted, "That's one of the best parties Club Akatsuki throws all year; wouldn't miss it. _Please_ Naruto? Hinata's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! I just _have_ to get a date with her!"

"I'll see what I can do," Naruto grumbled crossly, "Okay…I think I'm safe. I saw Ino and Sakura somewhere around here before, and I just _know_ they're going to make me come shopping with them if they see me!"

"Hah! Good luck with that," Kiba sniggered, "You're the best!"

"Don't I know it?" Naruto chuckled dryly, "Talk to you later then." With a relieved sigh, he hung up his phone and began scanning the nearby stores to try and figure out what he needed to get. The Strippers and Hoes party was the more pressing event, since it was only in a few days, and like usual he'd been stuck getting the decorations. Much to everyone's horror, Sakura had been put in charge of their costumes again, and all the other males were terrified of what she was going to make them wear.

Naruto shuddered at the memory of last year's Strippers and Hoes party. He didn't really see policemen the same after having seen his workmates in costume. And Sakura _always_ got to pick the costumes.

But, the Strippers and Hoes party was a great even to meet new people; usually the last desperate-person event before the big day where if you met someone you kind of clicked with, you'd settle; just so you wouldn't be alone on that certain day of the year made specifically to celebrate _not_ being alone.

And then suddenly, as he began heading towards the first store on his mental list, he felt something latching on to each arm and his eyes widened in horror.

"Why _hello_, Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed in mock surprise, "How strange to run into you here! We had absolutely no idea you were in the mall!"

"…Have you been following me?" Naruto complained flatly; looking from side to side and seeing that Sakura was clinging to one of his upper arms, and his other was currently occupied by Sakura's best friend; a blonde named Ino, who he remembered he still had to find a date for.

"No! We would never even think of following a strong, handsome man with the upper body strength to carry all our shopping bags!" Ino assured him innocently, "Right, Sakura?"

"Totally," Sakura giggled, "We were just about to get started; you should totally come with us!"

"No!" Naruto exclaimed, "I know where this is going and I don't like it!"

"…We'll buy you ramen for lunch," she commented slyly and Naruto's face fell.

"…Curse you for knowing my weakness," he grumbled; allowing the two girls to gleefully lead him off towards the nearest clothing store. He didn't mind going shopping with them, really; but he thought it was best to put up at least a bit of a fuss so that they didn't start inviting him with the purpose of making him carry anything.

What followed next was the most exhausting four and a half hours of Naruto's life. He'd been shopping with Ino and Sakura before, but somehow, he always managed to forget how much like hell it really was. Every time he was dragged off on some sort of shopping escapade, he had daydreams of the pair of them trying on cute outfits and asking for his opinion while he reclined in the 'bored boyfriend' chair. Then, the three of them would exit the store laughing together and swinging bags like they always did in the movies.

So with these thoughts in mind, he was always a little confused by his impending sense of doom.

Because in reality, it was much harder. They asked for his opinion, yes, but he had to be very careful about his answers. Apparently, "Doesn't Deidara have those pants?" and "Maybe you should try a bigger size" weren't the right things to say. As for reclining on that blessed seat; nope, he was always up and down getting different sizes, or different colours, or finding matching shoes or belts. He was more exhausted than them, and he wasn't even buying anything!

And just once, he wanted to have a movie moment where they all walked out laughing and flamboyantly swinging their bags –rather than him stumbling out the door; staggering under the weight of whatever they'd bought. He often wondered how clothes would weigh so much when sometimes there wasn't a lot to them!

There were times when he wondered if the free ramen was worth it.

"Naruto, you were such a great help! You _totally_ have to come over and help us decide what we're going to wear on our dates," Ino exclaimed in delight; giving him a grateful hug as he deposited their things by Sakura's car. He gave her a weak grin and a nod and a 'sure, I'd love to' whilst miming hanging himself to Sakura. Sakura just chuckled at him as he flagged down a taxi to take him home to start getting ready for work.

He had the feeling he was forgetting something, but his feet and biceps were aching too much for him to think on it.

* * *

"Oh fuck," Naruto exclaimed as soon as he stepped into the bar at six-thirty later that evening. Currently only Sasuke and Sakura were working, and Gaara was already sitting at the bar with a drink in front of him.

"What now?" Sasuke inquired flatly and the blonde rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he joined his co-workers on the other side of the counter.

"…I may have forgotten to get the decorations…" he groaned; facepalming at his own stupidity.

"Idiot," Sasuke scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"It's not my fault!" Naruto declared haughtily; jabbing an accusatory finger in Sakura's direction, "She and Ino ambushed me at the mall and made me go _shopping_ with them!" Sasuke sniggered and hid his amusement behind a hand. "Don't laugh, you bastard! Shopping is _hard_! It is so exhausting! And Ino threw a shoe at me!"

"In her defence, it was orange," Sakura pointed out to Sasuke before lowering her voice in mockery of Naruto, "…Her outfit was pink." Sasuke just chuckled again; shaking his head at Naruto's highly distraught expression.

"I'll come shopping for the decorations with you," he finally muttered grudgingly; blue eyes immediately lighting up hopefully, " –Friday?" Naruto beamed from ear to ear and wrapped his arms around the raven's torso dramatically with a grateful squeal.

"You're the best, Sasuke!" he exclaimed in delight as Sasuke just rolled his eyes; looking away with an embarrassed 'tch'.

"…Yeah; but you're hopeless too," he remarked with a smirk, and Naruto released him crossly; folding his arms and glaring up at the raven with a pout. "Quit pouting; what are you, ten years old?"

"Excuse me, but this pout is _classic_," Naruto reminded him with a camp point of his finger to his lips. "Remember how this pout got you to come to junior prom when you swore you weren't going because you thought your fangirls were going to molest you?"

"…They did," Sasuke deadpanned flatly; glaring at Sakura when she dared to laugh at his misfortune.

" –And if I remember correctly, _Naruto_, you got all huffy because he was hogging all the attention, and sulked in the bathroom for an hour until he came looking for you," Sakura teased and Naruto found himself blushing red. He'd forgotten that part of the story, and didn't like how amusing Gaara seemed to find it. With an offended snort, he stalked off to see if there were any jobs that needed to be done in the kitchen.

"…An hour?" Gaara queried incredulously and Sakura nodded, trying to stop herself from giggling. Sasuke just let out a snort and headed to the other end of the bar.

"What Naruto didn't know was that Sasuke spent most of that looking for him," Sakura added in a low tone, "He only found him because one of the other guys heard him talking to himself in the bathroom about how mean Sasuke was for ditching him." Gaara facepalmed with a short laugh.

"Crap," Naruto muttered to himself as he realised that all the kitchen chores had already been done early. More than that, he'd just thought that since he was arranging blind dates for his friends, he should probably book places for them. And he had to remember to tell Suigetsu that his cousin, Karin, had said she'd go on a date with him –after confirming that Sasuke Uchiha already had a date. As much as Naruto liked the idea of sharing a family with Sasuke –since they were such old acquaintances –there was no way he was going to subject him to _Karin_.

Suigetsu, however –he reckoned he could handle her.

He gave a quick look out to the bar. It was dead, so he figured Itachi wouldn't mind him using the phone for a while.

First…a date for Ino…

Naruto wracked his brain, thinking of any single males he knew that might be keen to share Valentine's Day with a bossy, beautiful blonde. A few came to mind, but he was worried that their personalities might clash a little…God; this was difficult…Finding Sai for Sakura had been hard enough!

And then he decided that since _all_ of the girls who had given Sasuke their number had turned him down, he might as well try calling up some the girls he knew.

Sakura found him sulkily drinking some beer with Gaara about an hour later.

"…Why the long face?" she inquired in a pretend-therapist voice; leaning on the bar and resting her face in her hands inquisitively. Naruto just stuck out his bottom lip at her and took a long swig from his glass; glad that they didn't have many patrons at the moment.

"No one wants to date me!" he exclaimed flatly, "No one!"

"I'm sure there's _someone_," Sakura rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Well if there is, then I don't know them!" Naruto sniffed; his shoulders slumped, "Literally every girl I know well enough to speak to is either in a committed relationship, has plans, or is lying about having plans!"

"Examples?" Sakura inquired curiously.

"Well; Karui and Omoi are finally together," Naruto grumbled, "Matsuri's with family, and Tayuya already has plans…and Tenten actually said she's got a date with Neji!"

"…Is that so hard to believe?" Gaara remarked flatly.

" –Um; well for one thing, Neji hates Valentine's Day," he pointed out, "And besides, everyone knows he's into dudes!" He let out an aggravated sigh and finished off his drink, "See, Sakura! The world doesn't want me to date!"

"…Maybe it just thinks there's someone _other_ than them that you should be dating," Sakura remarked with an innocent shrug.

"There's no one else!" he exclaimed dejectedly.

"The Naruto I know wouldn't be giving up like that," Gaara pointed out with a small chuckle, "You've been setting up other people, right? The world can't possibly not have love planned for someone who loves love so much and wants other people to find it…" At this, Naruto immediately brightened up and gave the redhead one of his most brilliant grins and then gave him a teasing wink for the cheesy pep talk.

"Oi; moron –your pay's on your shelf," Sasuke hollered from the other end of the bar and Naruto delightedly skipped off to pick up his week's pay. Gaara just looked at Sakura weakly for an explanation for Naruto's weird mood swings. From the way she passed the curious glance on to Sasuke, she had no idea either.

"One second he's depressed, then he's cross, then he's defeated –and now he's skipping," she remarked in exasperation, "Seriously, Sasuke, how do you deal with it?"

"…Ignoring him, mostly," Sasuke deadpanned. A few minutes later, Naruto reappeared with that excited grin still plastered across his face.

" –Oh, by the way, Sakura," he commented casually, "Who's the secret admirer?"

"…What are you talking about?"

"I found a bunch of flowers on my shelf in there," Naruto informed her, "There wasn't a note but they were probably for you, so I just chucked them on your shelf. So who is he?"

"…I think there's a reason they're called 'secret' admirers," Sasuke rolled his eyes and earning himself a huffy glare from the blonde.

"I wish I had someone to send flowers to," he sighed, but then as the door to the bar opened and a familiar form entered, his expression lit up mischievously again. "Oh. Look. There's a…I think I should probably go…clean the bathroom…"

"You _hate_ cleaning the –" Sasuke was about to say, but followed Naruto's urgent gaze to who had just entered the bar as the blonde stiffly stalked off without trying to look suspicious. "Oh. Itachi? Can you serve?"

" –Suigetsu's not doing anything right now," Itachi hollered from in the kitchen where he was probably pouring over their takings for the week or trying to arrange rosters. Suigetsu appeared out from the kitchen and as soon as he saw who was approaching the bar, started looking around in a flustered fashion.

"Oh look…" he commented flatly; shoving a half-full bottle of tequila along the bench with enough force to send it flying off to shatter on the ground in a mass of glass and alcohol. "Oh dear. Itachi, I appear to have broken some glass. I should really clean that up!"

"I'm going to help Suigetsu," Sasuke called out to his brother, and heard an annoyed noise from in the kitchen.

"Sakura?"

"…Uhh, sorry, Itachi –," Sakura called back, Naruto and Suigetsu sniggering at how she fumbled for an excuse to not be at the bar, "…Lady problems! Just taking a break!" She made herself scarce; heading over to the bathrooms; past Suigetsu and Sasuke who were looking incredibly absorbed in cleaning up the bottle that Suigetsu had not-so-subtly smashed.

"Seriously?" Itachi muttered with a sigh as he appeared out at the bar, "Suigetsu –that one's coming out of your –oh, hello Kisame?" Suigetsu and Naruto stifled their sniggers as Itachi gave his employees a suspicious look –Naruto and Sakura immediately vanishing into the bathrooms.

" –I thought you weren't working tonight?" Itachi commented casually as the giant, muscular bouncer took a seat at the bar.

"Just thought I'd drop by for a drink on my night off," Kisame informed him in his deep, rumbling voice, "Single malt whiskey."

"A whiskey man?" Itachi remarked conversationally.

" –Not to your taste?" the off-duty bouncer inquired.

" –I'd say Itachi's more of a 'Sex on the Beach' kind of guy," Suigetsu informed him from where he was mopping as Sasuke picked up glass. Sasuke coughed dramatically. "You guys should totally try it. It's really goo –" He started coughing to cover his sniggers as Itachi slid the whiskey across the bar and poured himself one to prove that he was _not_ a 'sex on the beach' kind of guy.

" –Suigetsu, I think Naruto needed help cleaning the bathroom," Itachi commented flatly; clearly unimpressed.

" –No; it's totally fine," Naruto called out; obviously having heard Suigetsu's comment and trying desperately not to laugh. "Turns out the bathrooms didn't need to be cleaned…" He emerged; biting his lip a little as he tried to regain his composure.

"…You sure run a tight ship around here," Kisame admitted with a low chuckle as he swallowed a mouthful of his drink.

"He sure does," Naruto chirped brightly, "He really…rides our asses…I mean; he makes sure we work hard." Suigetsu and Sasuke spluttered again but managed to cover it by making a fuss over the mop. Itachi rolled his eyes and took a deep gulp of his drink as Naruto slunk back around to the bar as Suigetsu headed to bin the broken bottle.

" –False alarm, Itachi," Sakura hollered out from the bathroom as she appeared in the doorway and began clearing away glasses, "…You drink whiskey?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Itachi inquired; finding himself increasingly more irritated by his employee's strange behaviour, "I apologise on behalf of the other bartenders…They're chattier than usual."

"They seem like nice kids," Kisame shrugged good-naturedly.

" –You're doing pretty well with the whiskey, Itachi," Naruto commented innocently, "I usually end up coughing and spluttering…"

"I'm just more used to it," the elder Uchiha sniffed flatly.

" –Or you just don't have a gag reflex," Sakura called out cheerfully, and all three bartenders currently in the room snickered as subtly as they could while their boss turned a light shade of pink.

"Yeah, Itachi…you sure look like you're not having trouble swallowing…" Naruto managed to blurt out before he physically doubled over from a coughing-laughing fit.

"…Asthma," Sasuke covered smoothly; whacking the blonde on the back and trying not to look too amused. From the mutinous look on his brother's face, he was failing miserably. Itachi just glared at the three of them as Sakura joined them with her tray of dishes.

"Go do dishes," Itachi snapped, "Now." Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto all stalked off into the kitchen; trying to cover their gleeful smirks as Kisame just chuckled down into his drink at the exasperation evident in their boss's eyes.

"Oh my god…" Sasuke remarked; his hands over his face in disbelief, "Really? '_You look like you're not having trouble swallowing_'? How long have you and Sakura been waiting to use that call for?"

"…About six weeks," Naruto chuckled.

"What? You used that line without me?" Suigetsu exclaimed in disappointment, "Deidara's gonna be so pissed that he didn't get to see the look on Itachi's face!"

"He's going to fire one of us soon," Sakura giggled.

"Well, if he doesn't want us making jokes, then he should just start abusing his power as a boss and get in Kisame's pants already," Suigetsu defended huffily. "He's been eye-fucking him long enough!...By the way, are you sure you're all good with us abusing your bro, Sasuke?"

" –Are you kidding?" Naruto snorted, rolling his eyes, "Pissing off Itachi is one of Sasuke's hobbies!" Sasuke smirked and exchanged looks with the blonde before shrugging in agreement.

"I'm not hearing dishes in there!" Itachi hollered in an unamused tone from the bar.

"Yes, Itachi!" Sakura, Suigetsu and Naruto all called back innocently –an angelic chorus that he didn't buy in the slightest. It was unfortunate that they weren't very busy. His staff tended to get up to mischief on quiet evenings and appeared to revel in his torment. At least Deidara wasn't here. When they were all working, all they did was scheme and cause trouble for no good reason –though the targets of such diabolical plans varied. And he knew that on Saturday night, the Strippers and Hoes party would be no exception.

* * *

**Poor Itachi, getting teased by his troublesome bartenders!**

**A thousand apologies for a seemingly filler-esque-type chapter. As an apology for that, and for taking longer than usual to update, I shall be updating another chapter within the next twenty-four hours! So I hope you stick around for that!**

**Reviews much appreciated; and as always, chur for taking time out of your day to read! **

**xx K**


	4. Chapter 4

**As promised, here is the next chapter. Soz but they seem to be getting longer...I just love talks about love...and of course a bit of good-natured Itachi-teasing. **

* * *

**Thursday 6****th**** February**

* * *

"Hey Dei. What's with the limp?" Naruto remarked cheekily as the other blonde bartender stalked into Club Akatsuki with a slightly unusual gait. Sakura swatted him over the head with a growl of 'Get back to work! We're busy!"

"Fuck you, Naruto," Deidara snapped huffily as he joined them; checking the clock to make sure he wasn't late. It was just on nine so he'd managed to make it, "Oi, Sakura; why're we so busy?"

"Did you meet up with Tobi again?" Suigetsu sniggered from further down the bar, where he was serving shots to a group of rowdy, excited men.

"There was a basketball game on earlier," Sakura explained as Deidara snapped, "No! I fucking stubbed my toe getting out of bed, okay?"

"Was it _Tobi's_ bed?" Naruto teased slyly; causing Deidara to glower at him aggressively, "Hey, chill; I'm just kidding! We all know what your 'recently had sex' limp actually looks like."

"I do not have a 'recently had sex' limp, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed hotly.

" –You do," Sakura reminded him in a strained voice; mopping up the spilled alcohol on the bar, "Boys, stop picking on Deidara and do your jobs. Itachi's going to yell at us if he sees you slacking off."

"Itachi's not paying attention to _us_," Naruto commented smugly; gesturing over to where their boss was fixing drinks but not really seeming like he was concentrating very hard. The others all craned their necks to see what he was _actually_ paying attention to, and sniggered when they noted that his piercing gaze was fixed subtly on Kisame Hoshigaki.

The bouncer was standing over by the door, conversing with someone casually and keeping an eye on the rowdy basketball fans in the bar.

" –Isn't that your Hidan?" Suigetsu inquired curiously, with a nod of his head.

"…Yeah…" Deidara muttered mutinously, "_He is _NOT_ 'my Hidan_'!" he added aggressively as he registered what Suigetsu had actually said and the others scoffed at him. Naruto beamed at the pair of girls that he was making tequila sunrises for and winked as he pushed them across the bar. They giggled nervously and scampered off –leaving him to sigh at his apparent lack of game.

"But seriously, man; what happened with Tobi?" he inquired curiously, "I mean, other than the obvious?" Deidara just ran a hand through his hair angrily.

"Nothing, yeah," he snapped, "He fucked me and then left and hasn't called me. Fucking men, yeah."

"Preach, sister," Sakura chuckled sympathetically, though apparently he didn't appreciate being referred to as a female. "So no date for Valentine's from him, huh?"

"Nope," he snorted flatly, looking over and seeing that every so often, Itachi's eyes would drift back to Kisame; drinking in his powerful, muscled form. "Just look at him…Why the fuck doesn't he just go over there and fuck him already?"

"…Um, Deidara? Not sure if you've realised, but that's what you tend to do," Naruto chuckled in amusement; Deidara's eyes glaring at him. "And look how that turns out…"

" –Are you calling me a slut?" he inquired darkly; folding his arms with a scowl.

"No, he's not," Sakura assured him with a giggle, "…He's just saying that you…uhh…"

"…Aren't too selective when it comes to dick," Suigetsu added with a small shrug, and Sakura and Naruto giggled at the highly offended look that Deidara was currently wearing. "What, Dei? Oh come on…" In response to that, Deidara just stuck his nose in the air and stalked off to the club side of the bar; ignoring the laughs that erupted from behind him.

"I'm sorry, Deidara!" Naruto exclaimed apologetically, receiving only a middle finger in response. Sasuke emerged from the kitchen as Deidara stormed past with a violent flick of his ponytail.

"…Which one of you called him a slut?" he inquired flatly as he headed over to where Sakura was completely swamped with handing out beers.

"Can you get me four Heinekens?" she asked urgently, " –Suigetsu and Naruto were teasing him again. He doesn't see why Itachi doesn't make a move on Kisame."

"Right," Sasuke rolled his eyes; quickly helping her out and sliding the beers down the bar, "We don't even know if Kisame's gay."

"Hell; I'd turn gay for your brother," Suigetsu commented with a low chuckle; only to find Sasuke's dark eyes glaring at him flatly, "I know, I know, he's totally out of my league. I'm just saying, though…"

"If that's the problem, then we can totally find out if he's gay!" Sakura exclaimed with a grin, "We're having the Strippers and Hoes party, after all!" The three males looked at her; clearly worried.

"What are you making us wear?" Naruto demanded to know.

"…That's a surprise," Sakura giggled, "But don't worry, we'll figure out if Kisame is gay. And then Itachi can stop –"

"Itachi can stop _what_, exactly?" Itachi's voice inquired smoothly from nearby; making all four of them jump slightly.

"Nothing, Itachi," she replied innocently, "We're just…really busy…"

"I can see that," Itachi commented with a sigh, "Can you please keep an eye over in the left corner? Some of the guys are getting a bit pushy." They all nodded earnestly and then headed back to the rush.

* * *

After a ridiculously busy hour and a half, things began to settle back into normality and the bartenders were able to actually breathe a little.

"I am _exhausted_," Naruto declared; heaving a sigh of relief as he took a step back from the bar and stretched his shoulders. "Sasuke, do you have a spare shirt I can borrow? I got like two beers spilt on me…"

"Yeah; there's a spare on my shelf," Sasuke muttered as he pushed a shot across the bar and received a healthy tip from the woman who had ordered it. Naruto waved gratefully as he headed off to change his shirt; pulling at the sticky fabric in annoyance.

Kisame wandered up to the bar and took a seat; a large portion of the bar's patrons having headed over to the club side for a rowdy dance.

"Would you guys tell Itachi I finally got those assholes outside?" he sighed heavily; wiping a bead of sweat from his brow, "God that took longer than expected. They got pretty aggressive." Itachi appeared from around the other side of the bar; drenched and looking thoroughly unimpressed about it.

"…Um…Itachi?" Sakura commented with a raised eyebrow, "I think…"

"Deidara sprayed a guy with iced water," Itachi offered as an explanation; brushing his soaked bangs back from his face and apparently annoyed by the way his clothes were clinging to his skin, "…I was apparently 'in the way'."

"I'm not fucking sorry!" Deidara could be heard snapping back from the club.

" –Wow," Kisame chuckled with a raised eyebrow, "…That Deidara's hard work, I take it?"

"You have no idea," Itachi sighed in a strained voice.

" –Well, one of my friends seems kind of into him," the bouncer added, gesturing for a beer. "I think you guys know Hidan?"

" –You're friends with that guy?" Sakura exclaimed in surprise.

"Ahh, well, by 'friends' I mean that I've just had to kick him out of so many clubs that we've got to know each other," he shrugged with a small grin. "Cool guy."

"I'm sure…Oh, did you get those guys out? Thanks for that," Itachi remarked simply. Kisame just raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement, and with a short nod, accepted the beer that Sakura handed him and headed back over to the door.

"…_Thanks for that_," Suigetsu mocked in a breathy tone, and Itachi glared at him.

"What are you insinuating?" Itachi growled crossly; folding his arms, "Enough, guys! What's with the passive-aggressiveness?"

"Are you serious?" Suigetsu deadpanned as Naruto re-emerged, still pulling on Sasuke's shirt. He looked distastefully at the small Uchiha-clan crest on the singlet.

"What'd I miss?" Naruto inquired curiously.

" –Itachi wants to know why we keep mocking him," Suigetsu replied smugly.

"Oh wow," Naruto's blue eyes widened in fake innocence, "I wonder what it could be? I wonder if it could be that our cold-as-ice boss keeps making "fuck me" eyes at the sexy new bouncer?"

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about," Itachi snapped flatly, "I do no such thing."

"He didn't deny that Kisame's sexy," Sakura pointed out and the other bartenders all nodded thoughtfully in agreement.

" –He's not," Itachi sniffed hurriedly.

"Liar, liar," Naruto and Suigetsu sniggered, "You like him, you like him!"

"I do _not_ like him," the elder Uchiha growled crossly.

" –Itachi and Kisame, sitting in a tree…F-U-C-K…" Naruto giggled childishly; dancing out of the way as Itachi violently flicked him in the ass with his tea towel. "OW!"

"Serves you right!" Itachi snapped flatly; flicking him again.

" –Itachi! Stop whipping me! I'm not into your weird fetishes!" the blonde yowled gleefully; flicking his eyes over to Kisame to see if he'd heard from across the room. Itachi looked over with wide eyes to see that Kisame was covering his hand to hide the fact that he was laughing. Immediately, Itachi tossed his tea towel over his shoulder and started fixing himself a drink.

"You'll pay for that," he growled mutinously at Naruto as he high fived Suigetsu and Sasuke smirked at his big brother, "…Not that it matters, because I do not _like_ him."

" –Like, want to fuck; same thing," Suigetsu sniffed with a smirk.

"I do not want to have sex with him!" Itachi snorted hotly, "So enough with the stupid remarks! I don't know what you're talking about –"

"Well, you should probably tell him to put his shirt back on then…" Sasuke remarked casually.

"…He's taking his shirt –" Itachi looked over his shoulder and then immediately glared at his brother when he realised that Kisame was still completely clothed. "You're a little brat."

"And you're sexually frustrated," he retorted sharply.

"Speak for yourself," Itachi muttered with a glare and Sakura gave him a warning look. "…Naruto, we're running low on coke and I'm thirsty."

"Thirsty for Kisame's…" Naruto managed to say before Sakura swatted him around the back of the head for being so crude.

"Can you stop taking everything I say out of context?" Itachi sighed weakly.

"Bet you'd want Kisame to take you out of context," Naruto sniggered.

"That didn't even make sense," he snorted darkly.

" –Bet you wouldn't make much sense with Kisame's cock in your mo –" Sasuke couldn't help but add, and Naruto high fived him for that call as Itachi growled, "I know you're my brother, but I'll still fire your ass!"

"Please, Itachi –you're just making it too easy for them," Sakura begged; helpless with laughter at the mutinous look Itachi was currently wearing. Their boss, deciding against stooping to their level, tossed his head and stalked away with a haughty adjustment of his collar.

"Oh, you guys are too cruel!" she laughed as Itachi headed through to the staff room to find a change of clothes since Deidara had been violent with making his drinks.

"Well, it's not like he was defending himself," Sasuke pointed out with a smirk and they all chuckled.

"Oh, looks like your last comment made him mad," Suigetsu commented with a small wince but thoroughly amused nonetheless.

"I'm sure Itachi will be fine," Naruto assured him.

"Like you were fine back in college when Sasuke made you mad?" Sakura remarked innocently.

" –Oh come on, Sakura; no need to –"

"I want to hear this story," Suigetsu remarked gleefully.

" –They don't even remember what it was about," Sakura informed him with a grin, "They literally stopped talking to each other for two months and had no idea why. Then one day, Naruto gets angry about it and punches Sasuke and they fight it out until they were friends again!"

"Two months?" Suigetsu exclaimed; his mouth falling open in horror, "You stopped talking to him for two months?"

"…I was really mad," Naruto grumbled under his breath and folding his arms as he glared over at Sasuke. "…I just don't know what it was about. But Itachi can't do that –he's your brother."

"I'm sure Kisame would be more than happy to diffuse that pent up rage…" Suigetsu commented.

"_I heard that_; and you're not funny!" Itachi hollered angrily from the kitchen. "Back to work!"

"He totally needs to get laid," Suigetsu muttered, rolling his eyes, "…And speaking of getting laid…Deidara –incoming!"

"What's the –" Deidara inquired; sticking his head around the corner and suddenly glaring mutinously as he recognised the man drifting towards the bar; Kisame keeping a wary eye on him. "Are you fucking kidding me? Itachi…It's that guy again!"

"I'm getting changed, dammit!" Itachi hollered back, "_Someone_ drenched me, remember, _Deidara_?"

"I'll swap," Suigetsu commented innocently, ducking around to the club side of the bar and shoving Deidara over to join a very amused Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura waltzed up to the counter with her brightest smile as the man they had come to know as Hidan leaned heavily on it with a sleazy grin plastered across his face.

"What can I get you?" Sakura inquired flirtatiously.

"…A piece of that fucking blonde over there'd be nice," he remarked casually, with a wink over in Deidara's direction.

"Oh this is going to be so good," Naruto chuckled, rubbing his hands together, "Where's popcorn when you need it, eh, Sasuke?"

"…Way ahead of you," Sasuke smirked; holding out the bag of popcorn that Suigetsu had tucked under the sink for snacking purposes earlier in the night.

"Deidara; you've been requested," Sakura remarked with a smirk as she looked over to where Deidara was busy doing some tricks with a pair of vodka bottles to entertain a small group of women.

"I'm so busy right now, yeah," he replied dryly.

" –I can wait," the platinum-haired man assured him with a lick of his lips, "…So…Deidara, was it?"

"Thanks Sakura," Deidara snapped back irritably; apparently having avoided informing Hidan of his name.

"No problem," she replied sweetly, "Seriously; Sasuke? Naruto? You two don't have to look so excited about –hey, where's _my_ popcorn?" Sasuke just held out the bag for her as she traipsed off to serve a few men further down the bar. "Naruto; help, would you? There's a girl down the end that looks like she needs a drink."

"Twenty bucks says breakup," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"…That twenty bucks says identity crisis," Naruto shot back.

"…You're on," the raven chuckled, and pushed him off down the bar towards the lone woman. Despite all having been separated by work, all three of them were just waiting to see what Deidara was going to do to this Hidan guy.

"Hey there," Naruto greeted, pushing a vodka and orange across the bar to the lonely young woman. She looked up at him with sad eyes and reached for her wallet, "No charge. You looked like you could use a drink." She gratefully accepted it as he started making himself one. "You want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" she defended.

"Well…whatever's got you drinking by yourself on a Thursday night," he answered kindly; leaning on his hand in interest. Bets with Sasuke aside, he loved people. He loved learning about them, and knew that sometimes, they just needed someone to talk to –even if that was just a stranger.

"It's…You won't be interested," she sighed heavily; rubbing her eyes.

"Of course I am," he assured her, "I'm always interested. I'm sure you're very interesting." She let out a dry sob before taking a deep swig of her drink. This was why he loved being a bartender. People were so open with them, if only you gave them a bit of your time. He loved talking to people.

"Well…" she sighed, "I um…I fell in love." He cocked his head in interest; eyes brightening at the mention of his favourite thing.

"So why so sad?" he inquired, "If you're in love, then why…"

" –With a girl," she whispered softly; looking around sheepishly as though this was something she was ashamed of. She covered her face in embarrassment.

"I don't get what's the problem," Naruto queried; prying her hands away from her face gently.

"I'm a girl too," she pointed out.

"So?" he shrugged, jabbing his finger down the bar, "That blonde guy down there sleeps with guys, and we want our male boss to get with the bouncer over there. What's so wrong with falling in love with a girl? Tell me about it."

"I um…" she stammered, "We were just internet friends; like, we told each other everything and we got on super well, and it was great –and I had no idea she was…a girl…and then we decided to meet up in real life…and as we got to talking…I just…_knew_."

"I'm so envious," Naruto murmured with a smile, "That's so beautiful; really it is. Why are you sad about falling in love? I mean, sure, you're both girls, but love's love…right?"

"But I…I was always interested in men," she muttered, "I just don't know…I don't know what to think anymore…After meeting her…and I mean…she…"

"Don't think, then," Naruto decided, "…I know it sounds cheesy, but go with your heart. You can't help who you love. I like to think that we all have a soul mate, you know? Someone who completes us; and people think that because you're a girl, who should look for a guy…But souls, they don't have genders, you know? They're just purely _us_; you get what I'm saying? The soul that your soul's meant to be with could be in anyone." He blushed a little; scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment as she looked at him with an expression that showed that she was genuinely touched.

"That was beautiful," she commented with a small smile.

"Well, it got you to smile," he admitted with a grin as she pushed her empty glass across the bar to him and got off the bar stool. "Off so soon?"

"I have someone I think I should talk to…" she admitted quietly, "But cheers. Whoever gets you sure is going to be lucky."

"Thanks," he chuckled; waving her off as Sasuke tapped him on the shoulder and leaned in to his ear to suddenly mutter, "…I think we might have a problem…"Naruto looked up at him quizzically; inclining his head and brushing Sasuke's bangs away from his nose in irritation. The raven jerked his head in the direction of Deidara and Naruto understood and the pair of them tentatively moved closer.

"What do you want, yeah?" Deidara finally growled as he was faced with Hidan, who had been sitting at the bar smirking at him, "I told you to get lost, yeah? Fuck off."

"I'm not fucking doing anything," Hidan drawled with a shrug, "Is it a crime to want to be served by the cute blonde?"

"It can border on sexual harassment, yeah," Deidara snapped, folding his arms as Itachi appeared beside Hidan on the other side of the bar –having been out clearing up glasses since he'd changed.

"Are you causing problems again?" Itachi inquired flatly; arms folded across his chest. Hidan turned to look at him; running his eyes down the Uchiha's smart, well-fitting dress pants and black dress shirt.

"Not at all," Hidan smirked at the same time Deidara declared, "_Yeah_. Remove him, Itachi!" He spun to glare at Hidan again, "I'm a dude! So quit hitting on me!"

" –Oh come on, Deidara," Hidan snorted good-naturedly, "Heard you went for a ride with Tobi?" He winked at him, "…And I fucking know you're a dude. Anyone with a gaydar can smell the uke on you a mile away!" He cackled heartily; licking his lips again predatorily and making the blonde blush furiously.

"And let me tell you," he added with a sultry leer, "…I'm fucking into that…" As if to prove his point about his sexuality, he suddenly reached over and, in plain sight, grabbed a handful of Itachi's ass and gave it a good grope.

"…Whoa…that's a fucking firm ass," he commented crudely as Itachi lurched forwards; red rising to his cheeks. He spun around angrily to see Hidan sniggering and pulling away his hands to show he was harmless. Itachi was embarrassed to find that he firmly tucked his own hands behind his back to prevent any more potential groping as Kisame seemed to think this was the signal to come over and escort Hidan from the building.

" –Next time, okay, blondie?" Hidan cocked an eyebrow and crudely mimed giving a blowjob. Deidara immediately lifted up the nearest beer bottle and would've hurled it after him had Naruto not leapt forwards and caught his arm.

"Asshole!" Deidara shouted after him aggressively; just receiving a wink in response as the other man ran his tongue around his lips crassly. Itachi tugged on his shirt and coughed to put on a show that he was completely unruffled by the event.

"…If you think no one saw that, Itachi…" Sasuke commented with a smirk as he stalked past, "…You're dead wrong."

"Kisame saw too," Naruto chuckled mischievously.

"Bet Itachi was imagining it was Kisame's hand…" Deidara added under his breath; jumping on the mocking Itachi bandwagon.

"I can call him back, if you'd like?" Itachi snapped flatly and the blonde clamped his mouth shut but continued smirking about it.

"How long until he folds?" Suigetsu remarked conversationally.

"I give it a week," Sakura bet.

"Less," Sasuke and Naruto challenged and Deidara glowered at him.

"I am _not_ a slut," he defended hotly.

"Of course not," Suigetsu chortled, "…You just love cock. Not a crime. I have one. I'm all goods with it. You like other guys' ones. So what?"

"Speaking of liking other guys' cocks," Naruto commented conversationally and everyone stared at him in surprise.

"Well that was the weirdest start to a coming out speech ever," Suigetsu admitted with a laugh and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Not _me_," he snorted, "Sasuke, you owe me twenty –girl was having a crisis; but it's all good, I made her feel better." He beamed with pride as Sasuke pulled out his wallet. "She was worried because she fell in love with another girl, when she's liked guys her whole life."

"Did you give her the 'souls don't have genders' speech?" Sakura deadpanned and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "…Practice what you preach, stupid…"

" –It just made me so happy," Naruto sighed, the twinkling of his eyes apparently blocking out Sakura's last comment. "I can't wait to meet my soul mate."

"Oh come on Naruto," they all sighed heavily, beginning to disperse along the bar, "You don't even know what they're like," Sakura added more sarcastically than she had initially intended.

"I know some things," he sniffed, "Like…I know they're going to be cool, and fun, and funny, and really interesting!"

"Oh here we go," Suigetsu muttered; holding his head.

"We'll like the same things –or at least we'll know what each other likes," Naruto rambled, "And we'll fight all the time because they'll be really opinionated; but we'll always make up because we love each other –and we'll laugh, and we'll cry…and we might even have a movie kiss in the rain…and everyone will look at us and just be able to _tell_ that we're in love…and she'll make me breakfast, and I can cook her dinner –_ow! Sasuke_!" Naruto rubbed the back of his head where Sasuke had cuffed him.

"Dream on, moron," Sasuke remarked flatly, "You suck at cooking."

"…Well, I'd get better if you actually taught me instead of making it for me…" he grumbled crossly as the pair of them headed off around to the club side of the bar since Itachi seemed to not be in the mood for more partying drunks. "Pick me up at eleven tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine."

Suigetsu, Deidara and Sakura watched the pair of them leave and let out weary sighs. As they exchanged glances, they could acknowledge that they were all thinking the same thing.

Sure, Naruto was steadfast in his beliefs, adorable, and definitely enthusiastic…

But by god he could be a moron.

* * *

**Oh Suigetsu, you're just so mean sometimes! Poor Deidara, getting mocked; and despite Itachi's protests, his coworkers seem to insist that he's attracted to Kisame! How on earth is that going to pan out? And god these guys can be unprofessional, can't they? At least they're endearing. **

**Next up: the extraordinary shopping adventures of Sasuke and Naruto! Such fun!**

**Keep the reviews rolling and I'll keep updates coming *smiles* **

**Much love**

**xx K**


	5. Chapter 5

**Friday 7****th**** February**

* * *

"Okay, so we have a lot of stuff to get," Naruto mused to himself as he and Sasuke stood at the entrance to the department store; Sasuke looking less than thrilled to be there. "It'll be easier if we just split up and meet back at the check-out, right?"

"Hn…"

"Don't be like that, you bastard," he snorted, "You said you'd help me shop; and I need to go buy some new clothes after this –Ino keeps criticising my wardrobe; you should've heard what she was saying this morning when I went to help her choose her outfit for her date with Choji…" Sasuke just looked him up and down with a raised eyebrow and scoffed.

"This is _not_ ugly," Naruto defended; knowing _exactly_ what Sasuke had really meant, despite not saying a word, "Orange is very in this season!" Sasuke just rolled his eyes in an 'orange is never in' kind of way, so Naruto added, "Like you'd know anything about fashion; all you wear is black and blue." Sasuke snorted and began stalking off into the department store. "Okay, okay!" Naruto sighed, "You wear white too. Jeez; no need to get crabby about it…"

"So what are we getting?" Sasuke inquired flatly as they each got a trolley and began wheeling them through the store.

" –Okay, so we're going to need new fairy lights," Naruto frowned, "You can get those, plus a disco ball; red, black, white and pink sheets, crepe paper, string…"

"What about stuff for tomorrow night?" Sasuke asked.

"Um…I've got a list from Sakura, so I'll get those things," he assured the raven, "Do you remember everything?"

"Of course," Sasuke snorted.

"Call me if you forget," Naruto reminded him and Sasuke gave him a bored look; heading off towards the electronics section to find some of those fairy lights. The blonde frowned to himself, strolling leisurely through the aisles as he tried to find what Sakura had decided was necessary for a 'Strippers and Hoes' party. Fishnet stockings? That didn't sound good…except that she only needed two pairs; so that was reassuring.

Costume section it was.

A few minutes later, he got a call from Sasuke.

"What colour fairy lights did you want?" the raven's annoyed voice inquired from the other end of the line.

"What do they have?" Naruto inquired curiously as he scanned the various pairs of fishnet tights in confusion. What size was he supposed to get?

"White, multi-coloured, red, blue and gold," Sasuke commented in a strained voice; looking at the fairy lights with a sigh. "Why can't we just use the fairy lights we already have?"

" –Because Deidara and Sakura broke the ones we used last year; remember how Suigetsu pissed them off while they were tidying up and they whipped him with them?" Naruto replied. "And we can't use the Christmas ones because…they're for Christmas."

"Fine…" Sasuke sighed; rubbing his eyes in annoyance. Already, he could tell that this was going to be a tiresome shopping trip. "Red then?"

"Red and gold," Naruto corrected.

"Fine. Red and gold," he sighed flatly, "And do we need glue and duct tape?" One of the passers-by was looking at him sympathetically.

" –No, we have plenty," Naruto assured him.

"…You always say that, and we always run out," he remarked flatly as he piled sets of fairy lights into the trolley.

"Not true!"

"Liar," he sniffed.

"Fine! Get them then!"

"I will." Sasuke let out an annoyed noise and sighed as he hung up his phone. The person who had been looking at him chuckled under her breath.

"Girlfriend nagging you about Valentine's preparations?" she inquired brightly.

"…Something like that," Sasuke replied flatly before squaring his shoulders and stalking off to the craft aisles. His phone rang.

"_Don't forget the fake candles!_" Naruto's voice yelled into his ear and he cringed before immediately hanging up; much to the amusement of the woman who had decided against minding her own business.

Again, his phone rang.

"Sasuke?" Naruto queried in a pained voice, "What do you know about fishnet tights?"

"What are you buying fishnet tights for?" Sasuke inquired; the woman next to him chuckling under her breath and making him go slightly red with embarrassment. "Why are you asking _me_ what size to get?..._No_, I will _not_ be the one wearing them….No; not even if you do." He paused with a sigh. "No handcuffs. Remember what happened last year? …No, we don't need a rug; the floor is perfectly _fine_; we'll just end up getting it dirty and having to get rid of –Naru…Naru –stop interrupting me; if you're…" The woman beside him was the one blushing now.

" –You don't need anything fancy," Sasuke snorted irritably, "Just get the plain ones; but make sure they're extra-large, and good quality; those little ones just keep breaking and it just makes a mess…" When that woman actually gasped a little at his words he was suddenly aware of how his conversation was sounding out of context…

"…Come on, _please_ can we have the fancy balloons?" Naruto begged, "I don't ask for much; just fancy balloons in cool shapes!"

"Fine," Sasuke muttered; his cheeks turning red as he ducked his head down and stalked away as he hung up _again_.

In the end, Sasuke ended up with his trolley practically overflowing, while Naruto had gotten (what Sasuke believed) to be much less, and had to go through much less trudging through the department store. He didn't even bother to hide his displeasure as Naruto began piling everything onto the conveyer belt.

"Oh, stop sulking," Naruto chuckled to himself as Sasuke moodily began helping him; probably unimpressed at buying items such as strings of cardboard heart decorations. "He does this every time," the blonde informed the cashier with a sigh, "He promised to come help me buy this stuff, but he just sulks the whole time." He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, and received a glare in return. The female cashier giggled.

"He's really hot," she commented in a low voice, so that Sasuke couldn't hear, "…You're so lucky to have him!" Naruto blinked in confusion at her comment and then let out a shocked noise.

" –We-we're not together!" he stammered immediately; desperate to rectify the situation. The cashier turned pink with embarrassment. "He's not my…"

"Just pay her," Sasuke rolled his eyes as Naruto stuttered over how fervently he was denying that Sasuke was his boyfriend. Naruto managed to get the work card out and paid her; Sasuke grabbing the bags and smirking at how pink the blonde's cheeks were.

"…You could've helped me out there!" he hissed crossly as they stalked from the department store.

"But it was so amusing watching you struggle," Sasuke smirked back with a chuckle.

"You bastard!" Naruto sniffed hotly, "You owe me lunch for that!"

"…Fine…" he rolled his eyes, but headed for the food court nonetheless. He was starving now, and hadn't expected it to take so long finding everything. Without even asking, he knew that Naruto was going to be begging for ramen, so made a beeline for Ichiraku's; Naruto's favourite place in the world.

"…I was…I was kind of joking, you know?" Naruto commented sheepishly when they took a seat; dumping their bags down beside them. "We don't have to eat here. You don't like ramen."

"But you like ramen," Sasuke replied shortly, and that was that. They were eating here and there was to be no arguing about that. Not that Naruto minded; although he felt a little bad since he knew that despite ramen being the food of the gods, Sasuke didn't like it.

"Miso ramen with roasted pork fillet," Sasuke ordered, even before Naruto could say anything to the waitress. "I'll have the same. Plus a long black and a mocha."

" –Why are you getting that?" Naruto inquired curiously as Sasuke handed back the menu without even having had looked at it.

"…You're going to end up eating half of mine anyway; it might as well be something you're not going to complain about," Sasuke rolled his eyes flatly, with a small smirk. Naruto was about to deny such an accusation but bit off the retort when he realised that it was all-too accurate. Instead, he just stuck his nose in the air and folded his arms huffily.

"How are your parents?" Sasuke asked finally, after they'd sat in silence for a moment.

"They're great," Naruto grinned, and then pouted, "…Although, every time they call, they ask about you, you know? Mom complained about you missing thanksgiving."

"Yeah…sorry about that," Sasuke apologised quietly –to hide that he'd apologised. "…I was really sick."

" –You should've said," he squawked flatly, "We would've brought you some soup or something…It was hilarious though! Itachi got drunk and your mom kept trying to set him up with Karin. You remember Karin, right?" If Sasuke's shudder was anything to go by, he remembered her quite well, and the memories weren't pleasant.

Naruto couldn't remember how long his family had been sharing thanksgiving with Sasuke's. They'd become 'friends' in high school –well, 'friends' was probably too far. They'd seriously hated each other's guts. But when they'd gotten into a fight, their parents had been called to the school, and it turned out that their mothers were old school friends. That began a tiring few years where their families shared holidays and the two boys were forced into each other's presence.

Sakura had probably been the glue that eventually made them, well, accept that they were too similar to hate each other. The three of them were grouped together in so many things –not to mention that Naruto liked her, and she liked Sasuke…so they were constantly around each other. And now look at them; seven years post-high school and still friends.

"Itachi got drunk?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "He neglected to mention that."

"He sang," Naruto added with a snort, "Actually surprisingly well. His rendition of 'And I Will Always Love You' was…well, it would've been good if he knew the words." Sasuke actually chuckled as their order arrived, and Naruto was suddenly struck by how much better the raven looked when he smiled. If only the bastard didn't have that smug smirk or his trademark glare on his face all the time! He almost looked like a normal person!

"So who's this girl you're taking out for Valentine's?" Naruto inquired slyly, "Do I know her?"

"Tch," Sasuke scoffed, cocking his eyebrow. Naruto glared at him.

" –Tell me," he complained, only for Sasuke to avert his eyes, "Oh come on. Don't tell me you haven't asked her yet?" He kicked him playfully under the table when the raven didn't answer. "What's she like? Pretty? Hair colour? Is she smart? I bet she's smart."

"You're a moron," Sasuke snapped flatly and Naruto scowled as he ate his meal.

"Fine, don't tell me; bastard," he sniffed, "I'll find out eventually…Do you think it could get serious? Will I like her? If it's serious, I'll have to meet her. It's in the official best friend guidebook."

"Since when are we best friends?" Sasuke deadpanned.

" –Since I saw you cry at our high school graduation celebration when Itachi came back from overseas to surprise you and told you how proud of you he was," Naruto teased smugly. "You cried like a little baby."

"…We don't talk about that," Sasuke hissed; anxiously looking around to make sure no one had heard that he had normal, human emotions. Naruto just smirked knowingly and let the subject about Sasuke's date drop. He didn't know why he was being so secretive. Maybe he actually really liked this girl?

* * *

"What about this one?" Naruto inquired, coming out of the changing room and presenting himself to Sasuke, who was lounging on a nearby chair looking even more bored than usual –if that was possible.

"Turn," Sasuke commented flatly, and the blonde obliged. "Other one's better."

"What's wrong with this one?" he demanded.

"Orange," Sasuke replied, as though this was self-explanatory. "I thought you said you needed more work clothes?"

"And general clothes," Naruto added with a scowl as he looked himself in the mirror, "Fine." He chuckled gleefully to himself and turned around with a dramatically worried expression, "Tell me, Sasuke; do these pants make my ass look fat?" Sasuke just chuckled to himself, shaking his head helplessly as Naruto cackled to himself.

" –Okay, I'm done," he decided and Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief as he began gathering up their shopping and everything that Naruto had decided to buy. It only took a few minutes for him to change back to his regular clothes; dejectedly casting aside the vibrant orange shirt after Sasuke glared at him for an extended period of time.

And then, Naruto being Naruto, he wound up getting distracted at the counter by the appearance of a young woman with a baby in a pram coming up to buy something at the next till over.

" –Sasuke, Sasuke look!" Naruto tugged on the raven's arm as he piled the clothing onto the counter, "Look at her, isn't she just the cutest thing!" The mother had apparently heard, and drew up beside him with a small smile, "What's her name? Oh, she is beautiful!" The mother beamed with pride as Naruto crouched down to talk to the little baby. Sasuke rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet.

"I'll get it," he informed the cashier with a sigh, "Naruto, really?"

"Oh come on," Naruto sniffed, and then giggled at the baby, "Don't listen to mean old Sasuke. You're the cutest thing, aren't you?" The baby giggled in delight at him and reached out to grip one of his fingers tightly.

" –Your boyfriend is just adorable," the mother commented to Sasuke with a sweet smile, "Do you have children?" Naruto's ears immediately turned red as Sasuke just sniggered to himself.

"I'm not his boyfriend," he informed her quickly, "We're just friends. I'm not…" Even the baby seemed to find his embarrassment hilarious and giggled cutely again. "We're not…"

"I'm so sorry," the mother apologised, "I just thought…Oh, I'm terribly sorry."

"It's okay," Naruto shrugged with a sheepish grin, "People seem to make that mistake a lot." Sasuke just rolled his eyes dramatically as he took his receipt and the bag he was offered. "Are you serious? You didn't have to buy that!" he added as a complaint. Sasuke just gave the mother a nod and the pair of them stalked out of the clothing store, with Naruto muttering mutinous things under his breath about the Uchiha not bothering to defend him.

"…Oh…" Naruto suddenly remembered, "I promised Shikamaru I'd order some flowers for Temari; can we quickly drop by the florist?"

"Why are you offering to help everyone else when you don't even have a date for yourself yet?" Sasuke queried, but changing direction nonetheless.

"They're my friends," Naruto replied. It was that simple. He'd do anything for his friends, and Sasuke knew it.

" –I'll be next door," Sasuke informed him; nodding at the jewellery store, "Itachi said to have a look for something for mother's birthday. It's her fiftieth this year, so he wants us to get her something special."

"Okay; I'll be there in a sec," Naruto promised as they split off and headed into different stores. Sasuke frowned to himself as he started searching through the store. Maybe his mother would like a necklace or something? What colour gemstone would she like? He knew that Itachi favoured rubies above all others, but he was pretty sure his mother preferred sapphires.

"Looking for something for someone special?" the shop assistant inquired politely and he just nodded vaguely as poured over the selection. From memory, his father had given her a sapphire necklace for one of their anniversaries and she always wore it. Was it acceptable for sons to give their mother a matching ring? He'd have to ask Itachi about it later.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he frowned down upon the rings and almost didn't hear Naruto coming up beside him.

"Have you found anything?" the blonde inquired curiously; looking over at the raven's thoughtful profile.

" –What do you think of that?" Sasuke asked, pointing at one of the rings he'd been staring at for a considerable amount of time. Naruto cocked his head and looked down at the ring.

"That's _beautiful_," he exclaimed; his voice in awe, "Can you really afford that?" The shop assistant appeared to notice that they were showing interest, and wandered over. " –He wants to look at that one," Naruto informed the man, before Sasuke could say he was just browsing. The shop assistant took one look at the pair of them and clapped his hands together officially.

"Excellent choice," he commented politely to Sasuke, as he opened up the cabinet to pull out the ring, "Is there a…special occasion?"

"…I suppose so?" Naruto replied, looking at Sasuke to determine whether his mother's fiftieth birthday was classified as a 'special occasion'. Sasuke just sighed and returned the glance. The man saw the exchange, but obviously misinterpreted.

"The stone matches his eyes perfectly, and this is an exquisite piece. He's very lucky to have you," he remarked as he placed the ring down on the counter. "…Are you going to want to check his size?" Both Sasuke and Naruto didn't quite understand for a moment; looking at the ring and then at each other, muttering things that the man couldn't hear –Sasuke wondering if his mother would like it.

"Excuse me?" the pair of them suddenly inquired flatly; sure that they'd misheard.

"…You are thinking of getting engaged…I assume?" the man raised an eyebrow. Sasuke immediately pressed his hands over his face in understanding.

"…We're not together," the raven commented in a muffled tone as the same time as Naruto complained, "Why does this keep happening?"

" –He's not my…" Sasuke sighed heavily, and the man looked genuinely surprised.

"Oh, I do apologise," he exclaimed, "I'm just…I was so sure…you both just looked…Ah, well…do excuse me." Sasuke waved away the ring with one hand; letting out an annoyed groan as they decided that it was about time that they left the store. Naruto was blushing up to his ears as they headed for the mall exit.

" –Did you get the flowers?" Sasuke inquired; breaking the silence.

"Yeah; got them sent to Temari's work," Naruto replied with an awkward cough, "I told Shikamaru he should send her some and just ask her out already…so this should finally sort the pair of them out. They've been in love too long to not be together."

"Tell me about it," Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

" –It was so embarrassing," Naruto sighed heavily as he slid two beers across the bar to a pair of men out for a casual Friday night drink. Sakura rolled her eyes as Neji took a bored drink of his cider. "You wouldn't believe how often it happens, too –right, Sasuke?"

"All the time," Sasuke confirmed flatly as he elegantly finished off the cocktails he'd been preparing for a group of girls apparently having a girl's night out. They were giggling and swooning a little over the sultry bartender.

"Sasuke, I hope you're behaving for these lovely women," Itachi commented with a raised eyebrow, and Naruto and Sakura rolled their eyes as one of them practically toppled off her barstool at the sight of the two handsome Uchihas both standing there. Itachi flashed them a small smile as an apology for his brother's icy nature, and that set off the giggles all over again.

"Well that is just so crazy that you get mistaken as Sasuke's boyfriend," Sakura commented lightly, "Right, Neji?"

"…Just so crazy," Neji agreed flatly with a roll of his eyes. "I take it you haven't found yourself a date for Valentine's?"

"Why, you offering?" Naruto smirked flirtatiously, flicking him a teasing wink. Neji just gave him a flat look, "…Oh come on Neji? You're smart, you're interesting, and you look _kinda_ like a girl? Not to mention that I'm adorable."

" –I resent that," Neji commented darkly; glaring at him, "In no universe would I ever date you. I truly don't think I could tolerate you the way some people do –at least not long enough to fall for you." He was about to send a pointed look in the direction of a certain Uchiha, but Sakura gave him a vicious stare that clearly said 'Neji, behave yourself!'

"So you'll be coming to the Lonely Night Out?" the blonde inquired, "Come on; I just _know_ that Itachi's got me rostered on for Valentine's Day because he thinks I won't get a date. If I'm working, at least come hang out with me?" Neji took another sip of his drink and just stared at him incredulously. "…_Please_? The company's not _all_ bad."

"…Fine," Neji sighed heavily after a moment of deliberation. "I think Hinata's planning to have a girl's night with Hanabi anyway so I suppose I can come."

"Perfect!" Naruto grinned. _Perfect_. _Now he could tell Kiba that Neji was going to be occupied! So that was one more thing sorted. _

" –What's your cousin like?" Suigetsu inquired curiously, having been told that he'd been set up with Karin. Naruto resisted the urge to cringe slightly and just shrugged mysteriously. Apparently, this made Suigetsu slightly suspicious, but he didn't comment.

" –But yeah, apart from the misunderstandings, everything today went well," Naruto added to Sakura conversationally, "Managed to get a meal out of the bastard –"

" –Which he ate most of," Sasuke added flatly from the other end of the bar.

"…Well, you shouldn't have gotten my favourite food," Naruto scolded, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Or at least protested when I started stealing it…"

"If you want to get fat, it's not my place to interfere," Sasuke smirked.

"Oi, shut up," Naruto complained good-naturedly.

"Really witty," he scoffed.

" –Come over here and say that!" the blonde snorted.

"…Naruto; dishes," Itachi ordered stiffly, "Sasuke; stop riling him up. You know that just makes him get competitive and he'll challenge you to something stupid –and then you'll accept and win and he'll sulk for the rest of the night."

"That is _not_ true," Naruto defended crossly, "But I totally bet that tomorrow night I can get more numbers than you." Everyone present –even Neji –sighed heavily as Sasuke smirked and accepted that challenge. "Strippers and Hoes night is totally my best night."

"…Why, coz you're a hoe?" Sasuke sniggered. Naruto seemed about to argue back, but a scolding frown from Itachi sent him scurrying to the kitchen, muttering mutinous things about the pair of Uchihas. Sakura sighed heavily and slid Neji a refill.

"Hey Neji," she commented suddenly.

"Hmm?" he inquired.

" –You know how you think that people just find someone and get to know them, and then think they're in love, when it's actually just 'familiarity'?" she inquired curiously.

"Yes?" Neji raised an eyebrow.

"…Do you think there are people out there that get it the other way around?"

* * *

**Poor, oblivious Naruto! Oh, the awkward misunderstandings! Hope you all enjoyed! It's Strippers and Hoes night tomorrow night, so we'll just have to see what happens there! And only a week until Valentine's Day! **

**xx K**


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: Contains unprofessional and probably highly inaccurate portrayal of real bartending. Although I think it's become rather obvious that Itachi is pretty lax when it comes to professionalism...**

* * *

**Saturday 8th February**

* * *

The bar was blissfully silent; except for the DJ at the dance floor testing out some tunes. Naruto, emerging from the bathroom, gaped in astonishment at how quiet it was. As he looked around the room, he could see Sasuke and Suigetsu putting the final red-tinted light-bulbs in their places; casting the bar into an all-too sleazy rose-tinged glow. He hid his snigger behind him hands, but they apparently heard him.

"Shut up," Suigetsu snapped; adjusting the white cuffs he was wearing, "You're dressed _exactly_ the same." Instead of blushing, Naruto just posed dramatically in the doorway of the bathroom and flexed his biceps smugly; changing poses with a wink as Sasuke and Suigetsu just stared at him.

"Yeah? Well I'm totally going to rock this stupid costume and get _way_ more numbers than Sasuke tonight!" he declared with a grin as Sasuke brushed past him; shoulder connecting with the smooth skin of Naruto's chest.

"…You're dreaming, moron," Sasuke purred with a predatory smirk.

"Kiss my ass, bastard," Naruto snorted; stalking over to the bar and slapping his own ass for effect; completely oblivious to the way that really just gave Sasuke's eyes a reason to linger there.

"…Bloody Sakura…" Suigetsu sighed; having seen the look that the raven had quickly hidden, "She should really _not_ be allowed to pick our outfits." He jabbed a finger first at the white collar and bow tie around his neck; then at his bare chest, and then at the tight, black hot-pants and studded belt around his waist. "Does she have a leather fetish or something?" He raised a black, cowboy-booted foot as if to prove his point.

" –I wonder why she and Deidara were arguing earlier," Naruto commented conversationally; running a hand back through his gelled-up hair. "When did they stop yelling?"

"…About fifteen minutes ago," Suigetsu informed him; checking the clock, "Lucky bastard got out of having to finish decorating. I had to set up the pimp throne all by myself!"

"…And it looks absolutely pimpin'," Naruto teased flamboyantly; the joke making both Sasuke and Suigetsu groan in embarrassment. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen was flung open with intense force, and Sakura smugly stalked out in her costume with an incredibly, red, furious Deidara a few steps behind her; apparently being half-dragged out by Itachi, who was in much the same apparel as the other men.

Naruto, Sasuke and Suigetsu just stared at Deidara and Sakura. Sakura was smiling sweetly, and Deidara looked like he seriously wanted to throttle her. Naruto was suddenly made very aware of why she had demanded two pairs of fishnet tights.

"…Any of you say anything, and I swear to fucking _god_ I will kill you and make it look like an accident," Deidara vowed vengefully. Naruto and Suigetsu's shoulders started shaking as they stared.

Sakura was dressed in high heels and fishnets, with puffy, frilly shorts that looked more like a miniskirt or really strange underwear. She was wearing a fishnet shirt with a black, vinyl boob tube that left her midriff exposed, and had dark eye makeup and huge hoop earrings.

Minus the earrings and makeup, and with stilettos exchanged for boots, Deidara was wearing the exact same thing.

"…This has _got_ to be fucking harassment, yeah," Deidara snarled at Itachi furiously. Itachi just bit his lip; every bit as amused as the rest of his bartenders.

"Don't worry, Deidara," he offered sympathetically, "…It looks much better on you."

"I fucking _hate_ you, yeah," the blonde growled aggressively, "Sakura, you do this every year! I'm a _man_, dammit!"

"…Well, when you stop getting more tips on the pole than me, I'll start letting you dress like one," she sniffed; jabbing a finger pointedly over to where they'd assembled the two poles on the stage in the club –for the wannabe pole dancers to show off their moves. Every year, Sakura and Deidara would have a competition to see who could get the most tips from a bit of a show, and every year it was Deidara.

"…Don't be…don't be mean, Sakura," Naruto snickered, "…He can't help it if he has more core strength…"

"…And is more flexible…" Suigetsu added, before the pair of them leapt backwards to escape from the lunging Deidara. "Deidara, will you stop making me question my sexuality?" Fortunately for them, Itachi just grabbed a handful of the ruffles of Deidara's skirt (?) and managed to hold him back.

"Play nice," Itachi scolded with a smirk, "…The bouncers are going to start letting people in now; so behave?"

"Game on," Naruto commented with a glare over at Sasuke; the bartenders all stalked over to the bar and getting ready for the avalanche of people about to come streaming in.

It took about thirty seconds for the party to launch into gear.

The DJ cranked up the music and the bar was suddenly flooded with people dressed in their sexy best; shirtless men; practically naked women –but that was okay, because they were _meant_ to dress like that. Sakura and Deidara smirked at each other and looked back at the four jars on the bench behind them; hidden from sight of their customers. Each of the four bartenders petty enough to be competing for phone numbers tonight had a jar, and it was game time.

"Hey there, cute thing," a guy commented to Sakura from across the bar as she acknowledged him with a flirtatious smile.

"What can I get you?" she inquired with a slight wink; batting her eyes at him and leaning forwards invitingly.

"Two beers," he replied with an equally inviting grin. "…And could you maybe tell the blonde over there I was asking about her?" Sakura looked over her shoulder and to her annoyance found Deidara looking at the guy from the corner of his eye and licking his lips slightly. Her hands clenched as she kept her smile on her face; sliding him the beers and accepting his money.

"Play fair, Deidara!" she hissed to him as she stalked past to grab a bottle of gin. He just smirked and slapped her ass playfully before leaning up on the bar coyly; impressing a couple of the nearby guys.

On the club side of the bar, Naruto was casually chatting with a pair of girls who were eyeing him in interest. He was giving them his most charming smile, and it was definitely winning them over.

" –You're both such charming women," he was saying sincerely, "I mean, I'd love to be able to take one of you out sometime, but that'd just be so ungentlemanly to ask you both out…" Immediately, the pair of them turned to each other and appeared to have a quick game of paper-scissors-rock. The redhead won and brightly started writing down her number on a napkin.

"Naruto?" he heard his name being called, and turned to find Sasuke heading towards him. He was about to ask what the problem was, when the raven suddenly reached past him; their chests brushing as Sasuke picked up the portable EFTPOS machine. Naruto found himself looking up into Sasuke's black eyes and saw that he was looking down at him with that same, smug smirk. Although…there was something…more intense about that look this time. At the risk of sounding cheesy, Naruto was sure he could've sworn he'd get lost in Sasuke's eyes.

It took a moment for him to realise that they were still chest to chest. His heart was suddenly beating a bit faster.

"Actually…" the redhead commented suddenly, as though in understanding, scrunching up the half-finished number, "I think…I think I'm good…" Without another word, she and her friend disappeared into the crowd again with their drinks.

"What do you think you're doing?" Naruto demanded flatly.

"Winning," Sasuke smirked.

" –That still counts!" the blonde exclaimed.

"No it doesn't," the raven chuckled as he stalked away triumphantly.

"Fine," Naruto sniffed, "If that's how you want to play it tonight…"

Itachi sighed in exasperation as he watched his bartenders in their silly little game. He gave a winning smile to the woman he was serving as he finished her cocktail, and then just so happened to glance over at the door.

"…Ohh…" he exhaled softly, despite himself.

Kisame wasn't wearing the same god-awful lack-of-outfit that the bartenders were, but he was shirtless; his broad, muscled chest on full display; black stripper-pants, and white suspenders. And he did _not_ look uncomfortable in the slightest, even posing with a couple of the 'hoes' that were lingering around him. Itachi suddenly felt very hot, despite his state of undress.

"…You're drooling…" Sasuke smirked knowingly; snapping Itachi out of his sudden stupor.

"…Speak for yourself," his brother shot back smugly; Sasuke's eyes narrowing darkly. "…And I was not."

* * *

" –So…could I maybe…give you my number?" a pretty brunette was asking Naruto coyly; playing with her hair, "I'd _love_ for you to call me sometime?"

"Sure," Naruto replied; acting aloof, "I'll just grab you a pen." As soon as he turned his back, Sakura swooped in gleefully –but trying not to look too pleased with herself.

"Hey, um…don't get your hopes up," she whispered apologetically, and the woman frowned in curiosity. "He's um…He's just being nice; he won't call."

" –Why not?" she pouted, "We were getting on so well…"

"He's…He actually…how do I put this?" Sakura mused thoughtfully, and then jerked her head down towards the other end of the bar where Sasuke was readying some flaming shots, "…_Plays for the other team_…if you get my meaning?" Naruto; who had actually ventured down that way to get a pen, had seen the way that a couple of girls were just _begging_ Sasuke to take their numbers, and, seeing a perfect opportunity to pay him back, wandered right over and slung his arm around the raven's neck, with a sultry whisper of "…Having fun, are we; hot stuff?"

He topped off the display with a wicked wink at the raven –who looked genuinely startled, before daringly returning his seductive gaze. The girls that had just been about to hand over their numbers looked broken hearted and their expressions fell as Naruto pulled Sasuke in close and growled, "…How do _you_ like it?" before flicking him in the cheek and stalking off –only to find that his girl had disappeared again –with only a very innocent-looking Sakura left in her place.

"She had to go to the bathroom," the pinkette lied brightly, before skipping off and giving Sasuke a cheeky thumbs up as she passed. He flicked her his middle finger in reply.

Deidara was busy pulling his coy, shy-'girl' trick on an incredibly attractive man, when all of a sudden, someone had forced themselves up to the bar and was glaring at the poor guy.

"What do you think you're doing, hitting on my girl?" Hidan's voice growled flatly. The guy immediately put up his hands to show he meant no harm.

"Sorry man…" he immediately apologised –since Hidan was bigger than him, "Didn't know. Sorry…" Hidan just glared at him until he'd received his drink and backed off. The guy gone, he turned and grinned toothily at the annoyed blonde.

"Are you fucking kidding, yeah?" Deidara snapped flatly; folding his arms, "Get the fuck out. Why the fuck did Kisame let you in, yeah?"

"How about coming out and having a dance with me?" Hidan inquired in a low purr, "I hear you're pretty good on the pole over there?"

"I am _not_ dancing with you, yeah," he snorted, "Get lost! Itachi, this fucker's back!" Itachi, who happened to be nearby, sighed heavily and waved Kisame over; trying to look as nonchalant about it as he could. "Hidan! Can't you just leave me alone, asshole?"

"Oh come on," Hidan scoffed, "Can't blame a guy for fucking trying, right?"

" –Hidan…seriously? I just let you in," Kisame complained as he approached the bar; though his eyes were _definitely_ not on Hidan. Naruto and Suigetsu, who were nearby smirked at each other as they noted that Kisame's eyes were immediately drawn to the practically-naked Itachi. "You want me to kick him out already?"

"Yes," Deidara snorted mutinously.

"Nah; let him stay," Suigetsu commented lightly; earning himself a filthy glare from Deidara, "He's harmless. This is Deidara flirting, anyway. If he _really_ wanted Hidan gone, he would've punched him by now." Deidara glowered at his co-worker, who simply grinned at him and stuck his tongue out slightly.

"Flirting," Kisame deadpanned.

" –Yup," Naruto confirmed, before Deidara could defend himself, "And this is how he stands when he flirts." He mimicked the exact pose that the other blonde was making and batted his eyes at Kisame –much to the bouncer's amusement. " –Neck exposed; chest out, ass out; he _clearly_ wants to get laid."

" –I am going to fucking cock-block you _so bad_," Deidara vowed darkly.

"…Um Naruto…" Suigetsu nudged his friend and the pair of them burst out laughing when they both realised that Itachi was currently doing the _exact_ same thing; plus a bit of a toss of his low ponytail. Itachi apparently noticed this, because he immediately straightened up.

"Can I get you a drink while you're here?" he offered Kisame.

"I'll head back to the door," Kisame shrugged, "But feel free to bring over a beer, if you like. Careful; it's fucking crowded out there." Deidara, Suigetsu, Hidan and Naruto all looked over at Itachi knowingly as he watched Kisame's taut, muscled back disappear off into the crowd.

" –For what it's fucking worth," Hidan commented smugly, "…Kisame would fucking take your ass any day if you offered it up."

"I do not want him to 'take my ass'; as you put it," Itachi immediately snapped defensively.

"You're a _liar_, yeah" Deidara sniffed.

"Oh so are you, you hypocrite," the raven shot back huffily. "Sakura's already on the pole so she's going to get more tips than you."

"Cheating bitch!" the blonde exclaimed hotly; seeing Hidan's eyes watching him head towards the dance floor lustily. Fine, if his co-workers were going to be assholes and not kick Hidan out, then he was going to fucking tease him for all he was worth.

"…And you see that asshole down there?" Naruto was saying to the girl who was sipping on her drink; getting more bored by the second, " –Sasuke? He's been –"

"He's been cock-blocking you all night," the woman finished, "Yeah…I know, I know. You've already told me."

"I mean, I know we're friends, but this –"

" –Is getting ridiculous," she sighed, rolling her eyes and pushing a small tip across the bench to him, "Jeez, I was going to give you my number, but then you just started complaining about _him_. Ugh, it's like I'm hearing about your ex or something; total turn-off." Scoffing, she stalked away from the bar and left him there feeling rather disgruntled.

"Urgh!" he exclaimed in annoyance.

"Something the matter, moron?" Sasuke inquired smoothly, a small smirk plastered across his face.

"You are _so_ mean, you know that?" Naruto sniffed with a pout, jabbing his bare chest. "You know I want to find a girlfriend, so why do you keep cock-blocking me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, _hot stuff_," Sasuke retorted flatly; in reference to how Naruto had made it into a competition. The blonde pouted again and averted his eyes crossly; only to see that there was already another girl in line; her eyes glinting wickedly in the raven's direction. Very pointedly, he ran a tanned finger down Sasuke's chest and sent her a look over his shoulder as if to say, 'sorry. He's taken'.

"Seriously?" Sasuke remarked flatly; shivering slightly from the light touch, "You can't just accuse me of something then go ahead and do the same thing."

"Can too," Naruto sniffed back childishly.

"…Is he, like, totally brain-dead?" Kiba inquired of Suigetsu as he accepted a beer gratefully, "Nice collar by the way."

"…Thanks," Suigetsu replied flatly; watching with great amusement as Sasuke glared daggers over Naruto's shoulder at the girl who had just been about to approach the blonde. She scampered away without Naruto even getting two words out, "…I think he thinks that that's what friends do..."

"You and me are both his friends," Kiba pointed out, "…And there's no way in hell he'd be touching me like that."

"Agreed," Suigetsu sniggered, "Although, if it was Deidara –"

"Seriously, dude; do you have a crush on the guy or something?" the brunette teased, rolling his eyes. "Aren't you straight?"

"Yeah," Suigetsu shrugged, "I'm not into dudes; but Deidara in drag is like…weirdly arousing, I mean like –" He jerked his thumb in the direction of the poles and Kiba nearly spat out his drink as he watched said blonde working it like he did it for a living.

"I do see what you mean," he admitted.

Deidara finished his stint on the pole with a dramatic grind as the song _Whistle_ by Flo Rida started blasting from the speakers. He received cheers, and tucked the wad of notes into his stupid bound chest as he felt someone come up behind him and grab his hips tightly.

"…You sure know how to move," Hidan's voice murmured predatorily. With an aggressive growl, Deidara pressed his ass back against the bigger man's crotch and rolled his hips seductively. Hidan made an approving noise in his ear and his fingers spread; thumbs rubbing against his skin. The hot breath on Deidara's neck was admittedly…_hot_…but he was planning on making that guy suffer. He was hot, yeah, but he was a jackass, and he was sick of his type.

"Work it, Dei!" Sakura hollered out from where she was quite happily just dancing now that their pole dancing contest had ended (knowing that Deidara had defeated her yet again). Deidara just stuck his tongue out at her and started grinding back against Hidan's hips invitingly as he felt rough lips press against his neck. God his lips felt good…

No. No; he was going to tease him. That was all. He didn't want the guy. Not at all.

One of Hidan's hands was drifting across his tanned abdomen, and the other was toying with the waistband of the ridiculous skirt-_thing_ Sakura had made him wear. Maybe she'd chosen something so frilly to conceal the fact that he was male.

Hidan was grinding back now; and Deidara's voice was starting to come out ragged. He could tell just by the way those hips were moving against his ass that Hidan would like it rough. This was reinforced by the way that he nipped playfully at the sensitive skin of his throat.

"Kiss me?" Hidan hissed in his ear; turning him harshly and pulling him in close; a hand on his ass, "…Or…you could blow _my_ whistle anytime…" Deidara stuck a finger in the corner of his mouth for a moment as if in contemplation.

"_Or_…" he remarked, before suddenly sucker punching him in the gut. "That was the worst line ever, yeah? Fuck off, will you?" And as Hidan doubled over; winded, the blonde turned in his boots and stalked off with a toss of his ponytail; nose in the air. He returned to the bar looking so mutinous that Suigetsu and Kiba, who had seen the entire thing, couldn't help but laugh helplessly.

"…Fuck…you little tease," Suigetsu cackled; wiping a tear of laughter from his eye.

"Served him right, yeah," Deidara snapped, "Maybe now he'll leave me alone."

"…Or he'll try harder since you gave him a taste," he pointed out; pointing at the hickey on Deidara's neck.

"Shut up, yeah," the blonde sniffed flatly, "Where's Kisame? He can fucking get rid of –"

"…I think Kisame's occupied," Suigetsu chuckled; nodding over to the doorway. Deidara immediately smirked.

Kisame hadn't been kidding when he said the bar was crowded, Itachi thought belatedly to himself; staggering through the crowd. He'd been groped about a dozen times en route to the bouncer with a couple of beers, and was glad that there seemed to be a relatively safe table to place them on.

Just as he had put them down, he was jostled forcefully by someone dancing nearby, and he went flying face-first into someone's chest.

Well…not someone. Kisame, to be precise. Itachi looked up in horror; his hands pressed flat against the bigger man's chest to steady himself. Kisame looked down at him, chuckling as Itachi was rudely pushed again; his cheek connecting to skin, and his lower half connecting to the other mans. He could feel Kisame's nipples hardening beneath his hands and felt an arm move past him to prevent him from being jostled again.

"You okay?" Kisame inquired, "It's crazy out there!"

"It's only going to get worse," Itachi assured him; a little breathless as he felt Kisame's hand connect with his bare skin for a moment, "There are at least three songs that haven't been played yet and I am dreading when they do."

"That bad?" Kisame chuckled.

"The worst," Itachi muttered. Suddenly, there was a vicious shove from a group to Kisame's side and Itachi found his back suddenly slammed into the nearby wall; Kisame's body pressed against his.

"…Sorry…" the bouncer muttered; his voice so close to Itachi's ear that he could feel his hot breath. Heat was spreading through raven's body, and he wondered if Kisame could feel it; their bare chests were pressed against one another.

No, no, no. This was not happening. Not here. Not in public; and fucking _not_ in front of his smug-as-all-hell bartenders. Swallowing and desperately denying to himself that he was enjoying being pushed up against a wall by the muscled man, Itachi pressed a hand flat against his chest and firmly pushed him back.

" –Beer on the table," he sniffed haughtily; adjusting his collar, "Feel free to throw some people out; it's getting chaotic." Kisame just raised a confused eyebrow and was unashamedly staring at his boss's ass as the raven turned and stalked back towards the bar. To Itachi's horror, he saw that Suigetsu, Naruto and Sasuke were already getting ready for Sakura's favourite part of the night. The three of them looked like they wanted to die.

"Ladies!" Sakura's voice called out through the speakers as she gained possession of a microphone. "If you head on over to the bar…we've got a special treat for you all!" Sometimes Itachi really wanted to fire her. But for now, he just quickly headed into the kitchen and dragged on his shirt, jacket and those god-awful pants…

The music was instantly recognisable, and the girls all squealed in delight.

_So hot in…so hot in here…_

The four male bartenders that tonight actually looked male, leapt up onto the bar; careful not to slip in anything. Nelly's "_Hot in here"_ started blasting through the sound system and the "kill us" expressions intensified.

Of course Sakura insisted on a strip show.

Itachi caught sight of Kisame in the crowd as he slowly started unbuttoning his shirt. Did he just lick his lips? Flushing red as he undid each button, he flicked it open; slowly gyrating his pelvis. Girls squealed, actually tossing cash across the bar.

Suigetsu wasn't so shy. He was slowly pulling his shirt off over his head; showing off his incredibly defined stomach before tossing the item off into the crowd. And then Naruto and Sasuke…well…needless to say that even a clothed Sasuke was attracting a lot of female attention, and then when Naruto cheekily tore off the raven's pants –god did that crowd go wild. Sakura was cheering along with the rest of the crowd.

Following that little show, Sakura, Deidara and Naruto did their traditional interpretation of the Single Ladies dance, and with a lot of coaxing and a lot of crowd pressure, Sasuke was dragged back up onto the bar and he and Naruto sang "Moves Like Jagger" –with Naruto attempting to prove that he did have those sort of moves.

Naruto finally leapt down from the bar; sweating heavily and exhausted from dancing. Club music resumed and the crowd began to drift back over there.

"Told you I'd get you singing again!" Naruto teased; flinging an arm around Sasuke's shoulder and jabbing him in the ribs.

"Gross; you're all sweaty," Sasuke snorted; wrinkling his nose but gracing the blonde with one of his rare grins, "We have to get back to work before Itachi stops wallowing in embarrassment in the kitchen."

"Did you see? Kisame was practically drooling," Naruto chuckled, "And I'm _pretty sure_ that Itachi was putting on a bit of a show for him!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and sighed, getting them both drinks and gulping his down eagerly. God; trust Naruto to play the one song he knew he could never resist singing along to. And god knew that the blonde was the only person out there who could get the raven to sing. Or do anything, for that matter.

"Come on boys," Sakura chirped gleefully, "We've still got over an hour until closing!"

"I swear…this is the last time I do that fucking dance, yeah," Deidara sighed; absolutely exhausted, and with a new hickey to accompany Hidan's.

"…Well…someone obviously liked it," Naruto teased; poking at his neck.

"Well he did…until he decided that I in fact have the wrong genitals, yeah," Deidara shrugged simply.

"Oh my god, Deidara; did you make out with a straight dude again?" Naruto exclaimed in a squawk. "…Was it Suigetsu?"

"No it was –why would it be Suigetsu?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow, "Nah it was some dickhead. He was being a real cock to some chicks over there, yeah. I told them I was a dude and that I'd get him back for being such a fucking pig, yeah." He grinned wickedly and Naruto had to laugh. Deidara was really a pal to girls who were getting tormented by jackasses. He'd been known to deal out punches in the defence of women when required.

Slowly, he got back into the rhythm of serving drinks; trying not to slip on stray money on the floor. He and Sasuke had wordlessly called a momentary truce while the pair of them were still recovering from their public performance on the bar, and were actually working together for a change; chatting amiably with the people around them; Sasuke even laughing a little as they competed to see who could pull off the most elaborate tricks with their bottles.

Naruto chuckled to himself -he was having such a good time tonight! The vibe was good; the costumes were amazing -everyone was just having a great time; he could tell from the looks on everyone's faces. Even Sasuke looked more relaxed than usual. All the bartenders at some point had ventured out onto the dance floor (although of them, only Sakura and Deidara had dared approach the poles), and Suigetsu had actually won one of the dance-offs. Tonight was one of those nights where they were having such a good time that they didn't even notice how exhausted they were.

Suddenly, the blonde, who had been so carefully trying to avoid slipping on the stripping money that had been tossed behind the bar, slid on some that Suigetsu hadn't yet gotten around to picking up. He flailed out wildly; sliding forwards and crashing straight into Sasuke's arms.

"Moron…" Sasuke muttered in surprise, as Naruto opened his blue eyes and looked up into the raven's pale face. For a moment, they just stayed like that; Sasuke with his pale arms automatically having wrapped protectively around the blonde to catch him.

"…Now kiss…" Sakura whispered breathlessly.

"What?" Sasuke and Naruto both inquired flatly; turning to look at her.

"What?" she repeated innocently.

" –Sasuke…not that I'm not pleased to finally get a hug from you…but you can let me go now…" Naruto commented with a raised eyebrow, and Sasuke, with cheeks turning slightly red, released him from the embrace. Wordlessly, they both headed to start back with their work. Deidara and Sakura exchanged curious glances.

"…You're slipping, Uchiha," Sakura teased with a knowing smirk as he passed her. "Keep it in your pants."

" –These "pants" barely keep anything in," he snapped back flatly; glaring at her.

Internally, Sasuke wondered if Naruto was intentionally driving him insane. Sakura definitely was; there was no way she hadn't planned their outfits to torment him. How could he stop his eyes from wandering southwards when Naruto so unashamedly rocked a pair of hot-pants? And what had started off as playful way to prevent him from getting numbers, had strangely turned into the pair of them trying to make each other appear gay to ward off the opposite sex.

Not that Sasuke minded so much.

The thing was that despite Naruto being able to practically read his mind sometime, he really had absolutely no clue as to what the raven was truly thinking.

"You seem to be having fun tonight," the young woman commented conversationally.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke sniffed.

" –Oh come on," Sakura rolled her eyes, "I think Naruto is literally the only person who didn't notice. You like singing when it's with him! You actually _smile_."

"I don't smile," he defended, and she poked him in the ribs with a grin.

"Lighten up, Sasuke," she giggled, "We get this party once a year. We get to dance, we get to perv on hot dudes; Deidara usually has sex…"

" –I resent that assumption; correct though it may be, yeah," Deidara sniffed from where he was back serving and laughing along with the women he had helped out by shaming that jackass. Sasuke just rolled his eyes and headed over to the other side of the bar to help out his sorely in-denial brother.

Sakura's gaze turned back to Naruto, who seemed to be having some kind of internal argument with himself; brow furrowed and his cheeks red.

"…Progress?" Deidara inquired curiously.

"Who knows, with Naruto?" Sakura sighed in exasperation.

Naruto had discovered that when his skin had been pressed against Sasuke's, suddenly everything seemed a little bit too warm, and he was…embarrassed for some reason. It was the dancing, and the atmosphere; had to be. It was warm in here from all the people…And Sasuke's skin had been hot and sweaty too…and so there must've been some heat transfer when they'd been touching…

That made sense. That made total sense.

So why was he blushing?

* * *

**Why ****_are_**** you blushing, indeed, Naruto? It's been an... ****_interesting_**** sort of night. What a party. You can just ****_feel_**** the obliviousness and the denial filling the bar! **

**We've got a pissed off Deidara; an in-denial Itachi; a perhaps slightly confused Naruto; a scheming, (but very well-meaning) Sakura; an unbearably patient Sasuke -and I just really love Suigetsu sometimes. Less than a week until Valentine's Day. A lot can happen in a week; but what ****_will_**** happen? **

**Tis the question...**

**Until then, much love, m'dears**

**xx K**


	7. Chapter 7

**Yo. No lemon quite yet, but chapter contains sexual references (although I feel that the previous ones have as well...) Just saying. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Tuesday 11****th**** February**

* * *

" –I don't see why you're bothering," Naruto rolled his eyes as he brought back three empty glasses and began getting ready to prepare another three gin and tonics. Sakura was hovering at the bar, watching Deidara apparently getting into yet _another_ argument with some guy. "I'm pretty sure that Sasuke's already got plans for Valentine's Day by now…" He pouted huffily at the reminder that that particular day was just around the corner.

"Well that doesn't mean I can't get him a present!" Sakura pointed out with a sigh, "I mean, sure, he might have plans for Friday, but that doesn't mean I can't get a date with him on some other day of the year…" She watched him preparing the drinks for a moment before adding, "…So, I could get him chocolates?"

"Don't bother," Naruto shook his head; measuring out equal amounts of gin, "He hates sweets. Only exception is ice cream, and that doesn't really count."

"How can he only like ice cream but not other sweet things?" Sakura queried with a scoff.

"Don't ask me," he snorted, "Where's the tonic? –I've tried asking him before but he never has an answer. Only likes pistachio and fruit flavours."

"I could ask him to go for ice cream…" she frowned, thinking out loud.

"He hates eating it in public," Naruto shot down that idea as he loaded the drinks back onto the tray, "Spilt it on his shirt in high school and is terrified it'll happen again."

"So _no_ to the ice cream…" she sighed heavily, watching as he headed out to drop the drinks off at a table of three women who had decided that tonight was a good night for a few casual drinks. It was strange really; the bar was unusually quiet, and yet the club was actually kicking into gear already.

"Flowers?"

" –Thinks they're girly."

"Um…a shirt?" she offered.

"He's fussy about his clothes," Naruto shrugged, "No polo shirts, no baggy singlets, nothing pastel, and no cardigans."

"…I think those are general rules for buying for any guy," Sakura pointed out.

" –Hey, there is _nothing_ wrong with a good cardigan!" he defended playfully. "Oh, don't get him a sweater; he always says he has one sweater and that's enough."

"Is that the black turtleneck?" she inquired and he nodded, "…Didn't you give that to him for Christmas like five years ago?"

"He needed a sweater," Naruto shrugged and Sakura sighed helplessly.

"Jewellery; music; book…_plant_?" she rattled off, "Come on, work with me here, Naruto? What should I get him?"

"Don't get jewellery; he only wears his Uchiha pendant. Um…Rock; not new time rock; good old fashioned rock. He's a classics kind of guy; not really into modern stuff," Naruto scratched his chin and frowned as he thought of how to best help Sakura. "I know he likes crime books and…I think he's always wanted a bonsai tree but those are expensive I think. Maybe a bamboo plant? You really want a date with him that much?"

"I just want to get him something he'll like," Sakura shrugged, "…Just so I can show that I know him well enough to date him."

"Well, good luck," he chuckled, shaking his head incredulously, "He's a fussy bastard. Christmases are a nightmare, trust me." There was suddenly a loud yell from the other side of the club, followed by the shattering of glass and Suigetsu darting around to the bar looking terrified.

"…What did you do to Deidara?" Sakura and Naruto both inquired immediately.

"It was _Itachi_," Suigetsu exclaimed in shock, "…I may have made…one or two…innocent calls about a certain strip tease for a certain bouncer, and –" He suddenly ducked as another bottle came flying past the three of them.

"It was _not_ a strip tease!" Itachi exploded in a dark growl. "It was the same that I do every year when Sakura makes us do the stupid show!"

"Okay, you can't seriously believe that, Itachi," Naruto rolled his eyes with a small smirk, "We saw you eyeing him up…"

"I was _not_ 'eyeing him up'," he snapped crossly. "Suigetsu, clean up this mess. And I will thank you all to stop with your infernal references! It's all you've done since Saturday night! For the last time; there is nothing going on between Kisame and I!"

"Oh, just like how Deidara says he doesn't want Hidan's cock?" Suigetsu snorted.

" –Don't you fucking bring me into this, yeah, asshole!" Deidara yelled from around the corner.

"Deidara fucking wants _whose_ cock?" a cocky voice inquired from the bar. Suigetsu, Itachi, Sakura and Naruto turned to discover that Hidan had entered and was sitting nonchalantly at the bar.

"Dei; your boyfriend's here!" Naruto called out teasingly.

"I don't have a boyfriend, yeah," Deidara snapped; sticking his head around the corner and his expression immediately darkening, "_Fuck you_. And fuck you too, Naruto!"

"…You cut me deep, blondie," Hidan cackled with a wink and a smirk.

"I thought you'd get the message since I punched you, yeah," Deidara growled darkly as Sasuke emerged from the bathrooms; having been on cleaning duty.

"Oh, I thought that was you just playing fucking hard to get," Hidan shrugged casually, "How's about a beer for your boyfriend?"

"You're not my fucking boyfriend!" the blonde snarled, stalking forwards and glaring at him over the bar. Hidan blew him a mocking kiss. "Quit stalking me, would you!" He drew back his arm and swung a punch at the guy; clipping him on the cheek. Deidara spun to face Itachi hotly.

"Oh look, Itachi; I punched another guy," he commented loudly, "Better get the bouncer to come over here and remove him!"

" –He's not causing –" Itachi rolled his eyes, but Naruto decided to holler, "Kisame! Your lover's calling!" Itachi immediately turned his dark eyes to face both mischievous blondes who were looking at him innocently. A few seconds later, Kisame appeared at Hidan's side.

"…Were you calling me, sweetie?" the gigantic bouncer asked Hidan cheekily.

"Ahh, pumpkin; this cute little fucking brat thought he could actually hurt me," Hidan simpered mockingly. Naruto, Sakura and Suigetsu sniggered behind their hands as Itachi and Deidara both glared at the two men there, Hidan forlornly pointing to the spot that Deidara had managed to hit.

"I hope you weren't aggravating him, cupcake," Kisame scolded lightly, before turning and offering Deidara a teasing, apologetic look. Both Kisame and Hidan took one look at the blonde's mutinous expression before bursting out laughing –although Kisame looked genuinely sorry to be making fun of Deidara's anger.

" –Man, if looks could fucking kill…" Hidan cackled, pointing casually at Itachi's face.

"…Whoa, dial down the jealousy," Suigetsu commented teasingly.

"Jealous? I'm not jealous," Itachi snapped irritably. "Why the hell would I be jealous? You're all ridiculous. Kisame; if you would _please_ keep Hidan away from Deidara? He's spent the last three days starting fights and Hidan's presence seems to exacerbate his rage."

"Sure thing," Kisame chuckled, and actually flicked the Uchiha a wink before grabbing Hidan by the elbow and escorting him to a table a decent distance away from the bar. Having seen the wink, Itachi's bartenders all looked over at him with smirks plastered all over their faces.

"Cue sexual tension," Suigetsu cackled.

"Cue _double_ sexual tension," Naruto pointed out.

"Cue…" Sakura was about to say, but was stopped by the mutinous glare that Sasuke threw her. "…What Naruto said…"

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about," Itachi sniffed.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Itachi," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, "Is it so hard for you to admit that you're attracted to the guy?"

"It's hard to admit something that isn't true," Itachi scoffed, "I am not attracted to him at all. He's not even my type."

"Oh here we go," Sakura snorted, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, Itachi."

"So tell us, Itachi; what's your type?" Sasuke inquired innocently.

"Yeah, do tell us," Naruto agreed; jumping on that bandwagon.

"Get back to work," Itachi sniffed; refusing to fall to his staff's grilling. They all shrugged angelically and turned to return to work.

"So I hear Itachi bottoms," Sakura commented unusually loudly, "I mean, his hair would just be so good to grab; you know what I mean?"

" –He likes muscly guys, you say, Sasuke?" Suigetsu remarked conversationally; though his words were also much louder than necessary, "How very interesting."

"What are you doing?" Itachi inquired; his voice full of deadly intent.

"Strange," Naruto admitted, "He seemed more like the 'making love' kind of guy –"

" –Stop," the raven hissed angrily as Sasuke chuckled to himself and took over drinks to both Hidan and Kisame who were blatantly both listening in to the rather obviously intentionally loud conversation.

"He _is_ pretty cute, you know," Sakura reminded them cheekily.

"Would you _stop_ undermining my masculinity?" he growled.

"I can just see it now; Itachi waiting for his muscled lover on a bed of rose petals…" Suigetsu simpered.

"Shut up, all of you!" Itachi snapped angrily; his voice rising in volume, "I am not a 'making love' kind of guy! I like hot, rough sex and…and this is not a conversation I want to be having right now–"

" –Oh but I'm so sure that Kisame would _love_ to hear how you like your sex," Naruto pointed out wickedly.

"That's it," the fed-up raven decided flatly, "Enough! I am not attracted to Kisame! I am not attracted to giant, muscly, buff men with rippling muscles and toned chests and deep voices –" He remembered the point he was trying to make, "And for one thing; I don't bottom!"

"Oh yeah, right," Sasuke scoffed, rolling his eyes. Itachi just glowered at him darkly.

"Fine," he sniffed simply, grabbing a startled Deidara by the elbow and beginning to lead him away from the bar.

"Wha-what's going on?" the blonde inquired; trying to tug away.

"We're going to dance," Itachi informed him from through gritted teeth. Sakura clamped a hand over her mouth in highly amused shock as their boss led their spitfire co-worker across to the rather crowded dance floor of the club. The remaining four bartenders slowly began to move over to the club side of the bar to observe what was going to happen now.

Itachi and Deidara reached the dance floor, and immediately, Itachi grabbed the blonde by his hips and tugged him close.

"Itachi, what the fuck are you doing?" Deidara inquired flatly.

"Making a point," Itachi replied coldly, "Now dance with me."

" –You are _not_ using me in your little game of denial," he snorted back, "Are you seriously trying to convince them that _I'm _your –"

"Hidan's watching," Itachi informed him in a low tone and Deidara's eyes narrowed.

"…You better be a good kisser," he muttered.

"Oh my god," Sakura breathed.

"Oh my god indeed," Suigetsu admitted as the song "_The Bad Touch" _by Bloodhound Gang started playing.

Itachi slid his hands from Deidara's hips around to his ass; fingers spreading wide and groping him sensually as he brought their hips closer together. Deidara looped an arm around the raven's neck; their foreheads pressed together as he ran a tanned hand down Itachi's chest; slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Their gazes were locked as Deidara started grinding his pelvis up against the Uchiha's. One of Itachi's hands began running up his back; the fingers of his other teasingly stroking up and down the seam of the blonde's ass.

"Careful Itachi…you might actually turn me on…" Deidara murmured, letting out a low moan as one of the raven's fingers pressed against his entrance over his clothes. "You are kinda sexy, after all…"

"Shut up and kiss me," Itachi growled in a husky tone, hand around the back of the blonde's neck dragging him forwards to kiss him; their tongues meeting even before their lips connected. Hips connected viciously; Deidara grinding hard against Itachi's upper thigh and then back against his wandering hand. Itachi felt a hand trail under his shirt and across his skin to harshly start tweaking at his nipples. His breath hitched and he pressed his lips against Deidara's more fiercely; their tongues aggressively exploring each other's mouth.

Deidara was an excellent kisser.

"I feel a nosebleed coming on," Sakura commented, her mouth having fallen open.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing," she answered innocently. "How are Kisame and Hidan taking –" The four of them looked over to where Kisame had taken a seat with Hidan at the table. The pair of them were clinking beers and sitting back to watch the show.

"…Those kids are fucking geniuses," Hidan cackled, licking his lips, "God…to be that fucking Uchiha right now…You're gonna have some fucking trouble on your hands if he ever stops playing hard to get, Kisame."

"Don't I know it?" Kisame chuckled with a grin and taking a gulp of his beer as he relaxed into his seat, "This is the best day of work ever."

"…Okay, so they're taking it really well," Suigetsu remarked in astonishment.

"Push me…wall…" Deidara breathed, and let out a moan as Itachi obligingly slammed him into the nearest wall and latched his lips onto the blonde's tanned throat. "…Itachi…" He fisted a handful of the raven's black hair tightly and pressed up into the kisses harshly abusing his skin.

"…Are you getting hard?" Itachi muttered incredulously.

"Hey, I might not be your type, but you're totally mine," Deidara grumbled; his free hands coyly toying with the Uchiha's belt. "…Cept for the whole fact that you prefer bottoming…"

"I don't need this from you right now…" Itachi growled, his fingers working at practically starting to finger Deidara as best as he could through his pants.

"…I know what you need from me right now, yeah…" he whispered and then almost laughed, "Sorry. Reflex…nnhh..._please_ don't touch me like...that…if you don't plan to commit…" Despite his words, he whimpered a little as the raven withdrew his hand slightly. "…Ahh well…I can dream, right?" Again, he was silenced as Itachi's lips returned to his; but he seriously wished Itachi had been nice enough to maybe keep touching him anyway...Unwittingly, Deidara's eyes slid across to where he knew Hidan to be sitting. The man's eyes were glued to him and he couldn't help but let out a breathy moan at the sight of such unrestrained lust.

"Oh fuck…" Hidan whispered, licking his lips as he saw that despite Deidara furiously making out with the Uchiha; his eyes were watching _him_. He hoped to any god out there that the blonde was thinking of _him_ right about now.

Itachi couldn't help but feel pleased with himself. This ought to show them all that –he just so happened to look across out towards the bar…where he locked gazes with none other than Kisame himself.

The bouncer had discarded his jacket and was now currently sitting at a table with Hidan, smugly drinking a beer, with his broad shoulders and sculpted muscles on full display. He gave a low moan into Deidara's mouth and pressed him up against the wall more forcefully.

"God…Itachi…" Deidara hissed between hot kisses, having noticed that while he gazed at Kisame, Itachi suddenly became a whole lot hornier. "…You…are in…fucking…_denial_…" Determined to tease the Uchiha a little, one of his hands returned to teasing his nipples, and the other trailed around to slide down the seam of his ass. He could feel Itachi quiver slightly at the touch and smirked to himself; dipping two fingers against his entrance.

" –Mm…don't," Itachi hissed warningly, gripping his wrist and, with no other idea, forced Deidara's hand around to cup his crotch. The blonde looked momentarily surprised, but then the wicked look returned to his eyes and he began roughly stroking him.

The bartenders all watched; dumbstruck.

Naruto had been watching the whole display and had been surprised to find that his cheeks were feeling warm. Sasuke was standing just behind him, and for some reason, Naruto was noticing his presence far more than usual. The hair on the back of his neck was standing up, and he was breathing a little heavier than normal. A quick look over his shoulder indicated that Sasuke appeared completely disinterested; a little grossed out that his brother was behaving like that, if anything. Naruto swallowed, and looked back out at the dance floor.

And then, for a moment, instead of Itachi, he saw Sasuke. And instead of Deidara…he saw himself. He recoiled in shock at the sudden image presented to him, and accidentally stepped back against Sasuke's chest.

"…Huh?" Sasuke grunted in annoyance, and Naruto immediately stepped away from him in embarrassment; looking up into his face and for the slightest of moments, imagining that_ their_ lips were locked. His breath caught in his throat and he staggered backwards like a deer in headlights; already far too vividly able to imagine the feeling of Sasuke's mouth against his.

"…I…I'm going to go…to the bar…" he managed to stammer out; escaping before anyone could question what his weird reaction had been about. As he stalked away, he shuddered and ran a hand through his hair; slapping his cheeks a few times to get a grip. What the hell, brain? What the _hell_ was that all about?

Accidentally mistaking Itachi and Deidara for himself and Sasuke was one thing…but then _imagining_ that he was kissing Sasuke…well that was something else entirely! He buried his face in his hands and let out a groan of annoyance. Ugh. Maybe it was the transition of mental image to being confronted with object of said mental image…_why was he having mental images anyway? _He'd seen Deidara making out with dozens of dudes, but he'd never ever put himself in the other blonde's shoes for any of them.

And sure, Itachi and Sasuke looked alike, a bit…but hell, he couldn't imagine himself kissing _Itachi_.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. What was _wrong_ with him?

He was suddenly jolted back to an uncomfortable reality by Deidara stalking past him.

"Where you going?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Bathroom, because Itachi's a heartless pig," the blonde snapped back crossly. Naruto had the feeling he'd maybe missed something.

"_Don't forget to wash your hands_!" Suigetsu hollered after him. Deidara flipped his middle finger at him, "_I know exactly where that finger's going, Deidara_!"

"Fuck you, Suigetsu!" the blonde yelled back and Sakura squealed, "God, that is _so_ unsanitary!"

"Call me if you need any help!" Hidan called out cockily; only to receive the angry slam of a door in response. Itachi returned to the bar with an 'are you satisfied' look plastered across his face. Naruto took a look at him, and then over at Sasuke, who had appeared around the corner. Automatically, his gaze drifted to the younger Uchiha's lips and he averted his eyes awkwardly.

Of course, Deidara and Itachi had been igniting the atmosphere in the club. Other couples had started doing much the same thing…so it would make sense for the…atmosphere…to leak over to the bar. But why Sasuke? Why not Sakura?

"Come on, Naruto," Sakura sighed gently, "You look like you need a cold beer."

"Yes," was all he managed to say, weakly. "That'd be…that'd be good." He didn't see the confused look that Sakura and Sasuke exchanged. The Uchiha just shrugged and looked over at Naruto with an intrigued look.

Itachi just started re-buttoning his shirt stiffly; sneaking a quick glance over at Kisame to make sure the bouncer knew how indifferent to him he was. Much to his discomfort, he saw the other man looking at him with a raised eyebrow; his gaze distinctly _knowing_.

Now, Sakura was the only woman among the staff members, and she prided herself on her womanly instincts. Her sharp eyes had seen the way Naruto's eyes had drifted to Sasuke's lips before he stumbled, and she was _sure_ that in that moment, the thought of a kiss had crossed his mind. Maybe, finally, his subconscious was bubbling to the surface.

"…So…Sakura…" Naruto sighed as he gratefully accepted the drink she offered him, "…Since I managed to set you up with a date…do you have any friends that are still free for Friday night?" She sighed heavily, shaking her head.

…Then again…maybe not just yet.

* * *

**I don't really branch into other Itachi pairings... but I felt that an ItaDei might be appropriate in this instance, seeing as they're both desperately trying to deny being attracted to who they're attracted to... Though this appears to have backfired on them slightly...**

**xx K **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thursday 13****th**** February**

* * *

"…What do I wear?" Sakura was wailing; practically tearing her hair out with stress, "Come on, Naruto, you have to tell me a bit more about Sai! Do I dress modestly, or do I show a bit of leg…is he a boobs or an ass kind of guy?"

"Why does that matter?" Naruto inquired, raising an eyebrow teasingly, "Hoping to get lucky tomorrow night, are we?"

" –Is that so wrong?" she sniffed hotly, "…It's been…I've had a bit of a dry spell."

"Maybe you should get some tips from Deidara," Suigetsu sniggered, earning furious glares from both of them. "Oh come on, don't get pissy!"

"This is a _serious_ situation!" Sakura snapped, cuffing him over the back of the head, "If he's not a sex-on-the-first-date kind of guy, I don't want to come across as easy, or he won't want to see me again!"

"…So you're okay with _desperate_, but not _easy_?" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow, "God, women are so complicated!"

"I'm sure you'll look beautiful whatever you decide to wear," Naruto assured her kindly, but just earned and annoyed glare in response.

"That's a cop-out answer, and you know it!" she growled in exasperation. "Dress, or skirt? Low cut or high-necked? Heels or flats; is he tall, Naruto? I don't want to be taller than him…"

"Sakura. You're stressing out way too much," Naruto rolled his eyes, "It'll be fine. Sai's pretty chill, so you don't need to worry so much!" She breathed a sigh of relief as Sasuke made an appearance with what looked like the bubbles of dishwashing liquid in his hair. "…Uhh…Sasuke?"

"Itachi's in a bad mood," he informed them all darkly, "…I _may_ have made a comment about a certain bouncer that he denies wanting to screwed up the ass by, and he…threw a scrubbing brush at me." They all chuckled to themselves at the put-out look plastered across the Uchiha's haughty face. Naruto tugged on the raven's bangs to get rid of the bubbles and missed Sakura's '_god you are so cute_' face. Sasuke saw it though, and glared daggers at her as she giggled mischievously.

"Anyway, how did I get dragged into working?" Naruto complained with a scowl, "I just came in coz Sasuke's giving me a ride tonight."

"Oh really?" Suigetsu commented innocently, and he, Sakura and Deidara bit their lips smugly, with Naruto completely oblivious.

"I've been slammed all day," the blonde continued in annoyance, "…I had to go order flowers for Kiba to give to Hinata –the mutt doesn't have a bloody clue about them…and then Ino made me go and help her pick out an outfit _again_ –" Everyone present winced sympathetically. "And I had to pick up things for Shikamaru and…I'm exhausted. Take me home, Sasuke!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sasuke snapped; ignoring the cheeky looks that his co-workers were giving him. It was eight-thirty and they'd barely had anyone in in over an hour, so he was pretty sure Itachi wouldn't mind if he skipped out early. "Tell Itachi I've gone home."

"Tell him yourself, yeah," Deidara sniffed.

" –I'm not talking to him while he's around knives," Sasuke snorted, "I got lucky with the scrubbing brush. Go wait out front, Naruto; I'll go get my stuff."

"Hurry up," the blonde whinged, "…I'm hungry…" Sasuke just rolled his eyes and went to fetch his things; actually having to brave the kitchen where Itachi was still prowling; obviously in a foul mood.

"Bossing Sasuke Uchiha around," Sakura tittered, "Dangerous, Naruto!"

"Tch," Naruto scoffed, folding his arms, "It's his own fault. He promised to make me dinner, and I've barely eaten all day, I've been so busy. So if he could _hurry up_ –" He directed his voice to the kitchen " –That would be much appreciated!"

"Watch it, moron," Sasuke could be heard warning darkly. Naruto rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently. A few moments later, Sasuke reappeared with his jacket and car keys. He flung the jacket at Naruto, who grudgingly settled with holding as the pair of them headed towards the door.

"Have a nice night," Sakura called out cheerfully, only for Sasuke to flip her his middle finger in response.

* * *

"Sasukeeeee…when's dinner ready?" Naruto complained as his stomach protested hungrily. He squirmed on the couch of Sasuke's living room; bored with what was on. There was a mix of delicious smells wafting from the kitchen, but the Uchiha had flat out refused to allow him in there. True, all Naruto did when Sasuke was cooking was get in his way and steal titbits of food whenever possible…but it wasn't his fault that Sasuke's cooking was irresistible!

" –Sasukeeeee…" he whinged again.

"Shut up," Sasuke commented back, "It's almost done."

"Are you wearing the apron I got you for your birthday?" Naruto teased playfully. There was a long pause.

"…No, I'm not wearing the apron," Sasuke finally answered flatly.

"Liar!" Naruto cackled; leaping off the couch and poking his head around the door to the kitchen, seeing that Sasuke was wearing the orange and black apron he'd gifted to him. "Aww, don't you look just _precious_! –Hey!" he ducked as a stray carrot went flying past him and he laughed openly. "Sasuke; it's all faded! Do you wear it _all the time_?"

"Of course not!" Sasuke snapped irritably, "Stop being such a pest. Go put on a movie or something…"

"I'm not being a pest," Naruto pouted, batting his eyes sweetly, "You know you think I'm cute and endearing!" Sasuke just made an irritated nose and a wet dishcloth came flying his way, "FINE! I'm going, I'm going! Are you okay with '_Tomb of the Dragon Emperor_?"

"Again?" Sasuke complained from the kitchen; clattering about with plates.

"Yes _again_," Naruto sniffed back, sifting through Sasuke's DVD collection to find his chosen movie. All his favourites were at the top, since he always forced Sasuke to watch them over and over. Triumphantly, he located the movie and crawled over to the DVD player to set it up.

"I thought you were _exhausted_," Sasuke commented snidely as he finally appeared in the lounge with a plate in each hand; seeing that Naruto was perched on the couch excitedly; his face lighting up at the promise of food. "Move over, would you?"

"Cute sweater," the blonde commented smugly; jabbing him in the ribs as the raven took a seat beside him and placed the meals on the coffee table.

"I was cold," Sasuke growled back; swatting his hand away and tugging on the turtleneck. Naruto grinned at him as the movie started up; digging into the meal with great gusto. It wasn't ramen, but Sasuke's homemade curry was fantastic. He made an appreciative noise as Sasuke started eating a little more delicately than him. He was tired as well; the last two weeks had been exhausting at work –and making fun of Itachi and Deidara really took a considerable amount of energy.

Despite The Mummy 3 being one of Naruto's favourite movies, he could feel the exhaustion of the day taking over, and, completely sated with the meal –having had seconds as well, he was beginning to feel dozy. His head drooping, he found himself leaning sideways and resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"…Oi…if you're just going to sleep, I'll pull out a futon for you…" Sasuke grumbled under his breath.

"Nah," Naruto muttered with a yawn; eyes already closed, "I'll just have a…a little nap…for a bit." He let out a soft mewling noise and yawned again; getting a little bit more comfortable. He tended to fall asleep on Sasuke's shoulder more than he really wanted to admit –there was something just _familiar_ about Sasuke's apartment –hell, he'd spent enough time there over the years to practically call it his second home, despite Sasuke never letting him have a key.

Fairly soon, Sasuke felt Naruto's breath against his neck begin to even out; indicating that the blonde was fast asleep. With a sigh, he put the movie on mute and looked down at his softly smiling face.

He'd always thought that Naruto looked adorable when he slept. He just looked so happy, and content with the world; the corners of his lips turned up in a small grin. Sasuke's eyes softened, leaning forwards to kiss him on the forehead before resting comfortably against his soft blonde head. Sure, Naruto was an idiot and kept looking for somebody to love him when Sasuke had been patiently waiting by his side for years, but he cherished moments like these, where it was just the two of them.

A sleeping Naruto took a deep breath; snuggling into the scent of his friend and nuzzling into the warm, much-loved sweater as Sasuke; also finding the doziness contagious, also drifted off into sleep.

* * *

"Ugh…are you fucking kidding me, yeah?" Deidara complained crossly at the discovery that currently the only person in the bar was none other than Hidan. "Can you get a _clue_? Leave!"

" –Maybe I will, if you quite playing so fucking hard to get," Hidan drawled, "Sakura, grab me a beer would you?"

"Sure thing, Hidan," Sakura replied brightly; grinning at the unimpressed expression on Deidara's face.

"…When did the two of you become such good friends, yeah?" he inquired darkly.

"We bonded last night over how fucking hot you and Itachi looked together," Hidan replied simply.

"…Fucking fangirl traitor…" Deidara growled accusingly at Sakura; his eyes full of betrayal.

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Sakura shrugged, "I totally ship you more with Hidan. But you and Itachi I can definitely live with."

"Are you even a real person, yeah?" the blonde snapped, "You don't _ship_ real people! That's just fucking _wrong_, yeah! And with _this_ asshole? You're fucking kidding me…"

"Okay, I'll be honest," she admitted with a giggle, "If you wind up with someone, then that means that there are more eligible bachelors for me!"

"…If they fuck Deidara, doesn't that kind of mean they were never an option for _you_ anyway?" Suigetsu pointed out flatly.

" –Like Deidara's never had sex with a straight man," Sakura scoffed and Deidara folded his arms rather crossly. "Seriously, Suigetsu; come on! He makes you question your sexuality on a weekly basis!" Deidara's eyes glinted wickedly and he immediately struck up one of his poses against the bar; winking at Suigetsu flirtatiously.

"…I bet I could turn you…" he murmured, finger at the corner of his mouth. Suigetsu immediately held up his hands defensively.

"No; I _refuse_ to be a pawn in this game of denial that you and Itachi are playing!" he exclaimed, "And even if I find that strangely alluring; do not come near me!" Hidan had watched this with a great deal of amusement and chugged down some of his beer with a snicker.

"Come on, Deidara…" Hidan chuckled, "Go on a fucking date with me? Have a drink with me now; I can see you're not fucking busy. Come on; you can't leave a guy fucking hanging like you did the other night…" Deidara fumed in silence for a moment before leaning on the counter heavily.

"If I make out with you right now, yeah, will you _go away_?" Deidara growled aggressively, and Sakura and Suigetsu looked at him curiously, "What? Dudes are always chasing my ass; this guy's no fucking different from the rest of the pigs, yeah."

"I'm fucking hurt," Hidan simpered with a wicked wink. "Come on then."

"You'll fucking go away?"

" –If you still want me to." Deidara appeared to weigh up his options before shoving his tea towel over at Sakura and cricking his neck.

"Fine, yeah," he remarked, stalking around the bar to greet Hidan face to face. "I kiss you; you go away, deal?"

"…If you still want me to, then yeah," Hidan agreed. Sakura and Suigetsu exchanged glances curiously; wondering at the wicked grin that the bigger, platinum-haired man had on his face. Deidara stuck his hand out and Hidan shook it firmly, before jerking the blonde forwards. One of his big hands latched to the back of his neck as he pressed their lips together roughly.

Sakura watched with her chin rested cheekily in her hands as Hidan's lips easily pried Deidara's mouth open and his tongue slipped inside. She saw Deidara's chest arch towards the bigger man; trying to tug back, but the hand against his neck not letting him.

"Mmm…" Deidara moaned; his tongue being sensually caressed by the other man's as hungry lips devoured his own. He found himself gripping Hidan's shirt tightly as Hidan's other arm encircled him as he stood up from the barstool. The height change enabled him to deepen the kiss, pushing the blonde back against the edge of one of the tables.

"…Hidan wins," Suigetsu commented with a raised eyebrow as the bigger man promptly lifted and tipped the blonde to lie with his back against the table; Hidan's mouth sucking and kissing ravenously down his throat. Deidara let out a throaty moan; fingers sliding down the taut chest in front of him to undo his shirt. Who was he fucking kidding? Hidan was hot as all hell, and the way he kissed was fucking _unreal_. The blonde felt Hidan's hand gripping his ass tightly and then sliding teasingly along the back of his thigh to hook his leg up around his waist; bringing their bodies closer together.

Not to mention, if what he was feeling grinding against his ass was any indication…he was in for a good time.

"Still want me to leave?" Hidan whispered hoarsely against Deidara's throat, roughly pinching the blonde's nipples through his shirt and making him arch up into the touch with a groan of both pain and pleasure. "…You like it rough?" He bit into the tanned skin laid out before him and received a low gasp in response. "…I can work with that…"

"I finish in fifteen minutes…" Deidara whispered, grabbing the bigger man's face and dragging it back up to his lips; wanting that tongue ravaging his mouth again. Hidan was all-too happy to oblige; hips rolling against the blonde's as his hands trailed across his body.

"…I hope you guys don't fucking mind if I jerk him off, right?" Hidan commented; looking over his shoulder to where Sakura was watching; completely transfixed, and Suigetsu was trying to remind himself that he wasn't into guys. Deidara immediately bolted up crossly, head connecting with Hidan's broad chest.

"Like fucking _hell_ you are –" he declared, before his voice trailed off into a high pitched moan as Hidan tweaked one of his nipples wickedly. Hidan reattached his lips to Deidara's neck; being a little rougher with his hardened nipples as he viciously marked the blonde's sensitive skin.

" –Hah….ahh…_Hidan_…mmm…s-stop…" Deidara moaned, feeling Hidan grinding against him between his parted legs, "…Sa-Sakura…tell Ita –Itachi that…home…early…" Hidan yanked back on the blonde's ponytail and forced him to further expose his throat.

"Got it," Sakura grumbled with a sigh, "Itachi! Deidara's going home to have sex!"

"A lot of sex," Hidan corrected with a sly grin; stepping back and allowing Deidara to adjust his clothes. Already, it was very clear that there were hickeys developing on his throat, and his lips were swollen from the passionate making out. As the blonde turned his back to stalk from the bar, Hidan slyly groped him from behind; his fingers sliding down the seam of his ass and then between his legs. Deidara let out an unmanly yelp and glared at the bigger man aggressively.

"Later!" Hidan hollered triumphantly, spanking the blonde's firm ass playfully. Sakura and Suigetsu could hear Deidara berating him from the street outside and exchanged relieved glances.

"One down, two to go," Sakura admitted, in reference to the number of their co-workers currently in denial. Itachi suddenly appeared from in the kitchen and looked around suspiciously.

"…Did you say Deidara was going home early to have sex?" he inquired flatly.

"It was either that, or we were in for a sight that convinces Suigetsu he swings both ways," Sakura informed their boss with a shrug. "Oh come on, Suigetsu; you know that's what would've happened. If you saw Deidara getting –"

"Don't talk about it. Don't want to imagine it," Suigetsu interrupted; blocking his ears and closing his eyes.

"…So, Itachi…when are _you_ going to quit pretending that –"

"We have _been over this_!" Itachi exclaimed darkly; folding his arms. "Behave yourself, you two!" Suigetsu and Sakura just exchanged knowing looks.

"So…Itachi…Kisame's rostered on tomorrow night, right? ...Expecting anything?"

"_What's that supposed to mean_!"

* * *

Sasuke woke as he heard a small snore from just beneath his ear. His eyes widened; blinking back the light, and saw that it was almost midnight. He yawned again, turning off the TV and noticing that at some point during their nap, they'd manoeuvred themselves so that Sasuke was leaning back against the armrest with Naruto asleep on his chest; draped comfortably.

"Oi…wake up," Sasuke rolled his eyes with a sigh, flicking the blonde in the forehead and rousing him roughly, "Come on; I'm not sleeping on the couch. Get up, fatso."

"…I'm not fat…" Naruto grumbled sleepily. Sasuke sighed again and pushed the blonde off him; knowing that he was pretty much pretending to be asleep still so that he wouldn't have to move. Not caring if he stayed on the couch or not, but wanting to embarrass him, Sasuke hoisted him up over his shoulder, fire-man style. Immediately, Naruto flailed out; angered at being manhandled.

"Put me down, you bastard!" he exclaimed; all traces of sleep gone as he was unceremoniously carried from the living room and into Sasuke's room. He beat against the raven's back until he was tossed onto the bed like some kind of rag doll. Rage gave way to comfort as he starfished out on the big bed.

"That was mean, Sasuke!" he pouted crossly.

"Yeah, well, you weren't going to get up," Sasuke pointed out flatly, looking over his shoulder to discover that Naruto was already clambering into his bed like it was his, "No; Naruto, get out; I'm getting you a futon."

"_You_ sleep on the futon," Naruto sniffed, "_I'm_ the guest!"

"Hardly," Sasuke retorted, folding his arms as Naruto made himself comfortable.

"…Can I borrow pyjamas?" the blonde asked sheepishly and Sasuke facepalmed. God, Naruto was such an idiot. "Go on; get your futon out."

"I'm not sleeping on a futon in my own house," Sasuke informed him, "I should've left you on the couch." Naruto pouted, and the raven couldn't help but just roll his eyes and toss the blonde a large shirt to sleep in and a spare pair of pyjama pants. "Go on; back to the couch. Shoo!"

"Don't wanna," Naruto sniffed childishly; burying himself deeper into the bed and pulling the duvet up over his head. "Don't be _mean_, Sasuke!" Sasuke just sighed and averted his eyes as Naruto swiftly pulled off his shirt; exposing his toned, tanned chest as he pulled Sasuke's one on.

"Idiot…" Sasuke muttered with a small smile as Naruto pulled back the covers with a mockingly inviting look on his face and rubbed the spot next to him seductively. He tossed the nearest pillow at the blonde before proceeding to strip to his underwear and pull on his pyjama pants.

"Rude," Naruto commented from behind a mouthful of pillow.

"…What's _rude_ is making yourself comfortable in someone else's bed," Sasuke reminded him in a mutter. "I'm going to brush my teeth."

"Oh yeah," Naruto suddenly seemed to remember, and sprang out of the bed to join him in the bathroom; helping himself to his toothbrush that he left there. They brushed their teeth in silence; Naruto making sure to get toothpaste on the raven's face, and splashing his chest with water.

"…What are you, five?" Sasuke complained in irritation, gargling with some water before spitting it back into the sink and heading back to his room. "Turn off the lights!"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto sniffed; turning off the bathroom light and then the bedroom light before wandering over and diving onto the bed in the darkness.

"Ugh…get off," Sasuke complained as he felt a weight land on top of him. "What are you doing?"

"…Your fault for being on my side," Naruto informed him; his breath brushing against Sasuke's cheek almost intimately; his weight pressing on the raven in a way that roused indecent thoughts in Sasuke.

"This is _my_ bed. You don't _have_ a side," Sasuke snapped flatly; rolling violently so that Naruto toppled into a tangle of bedsheets –before he wound up letting his imagination run wild, "And if you keep stealing the covers, you can sleep on the bloody floor." Naruto giggled to himself, slipping under the sheets and letting out a content sigh.

"Night, Sasuke," he remarked into the darkness; somehow finding the fact that Sasuke was only an arm's length away comforting.

"Night…Naruto…" Sasuke muttered; already able to feel the blonde's body heat on his skin despite the distance between them in the bed.

Somewhere, out in the city, a clock chimed midnight, signalling the beginning of the new day.

Valentine's Day had arrived.

* * *

**Oh my god, I kind of died a little inside with the thought of Naruto just making himself at home in Sasuke's place, just being adorable and Sasuke putting up with it... **

**Finally, Deidara's out of denial and into bed with Hidan... **

**And the next chapter will be the long awaited Valentine's Day! What's it going to be like? And how is the Lonely Night Out going to turn out? **

**Thanks for bearing with Naruto's idiotic obliviousness!**

**xx K**


	9. Chapter 9

**Friday 14****th**** February**

**Valentine's Day**

**10.27am**

* * *

Naruto yawned mightily; stretching out wide before snuggling back up amongst the covers. He could smell Sasuke on the blankets but was surprised to feel the other side of the bed cold when he reached out an arm to slap the Uchiha. Sitting up and cracking his shoulders, he checked the clock and sighed when he realised he'd overslept. He always slept in when he stayed over at Sasuke's. The bed was just too damn comfy!

Realising it must've been a while since the raven had gotten up, he rubbed his eyes and threw back the sheets; sleepily dragging himself out of bed and plodding towards the living room, where he could distinctly smell bacon.

"Sasuke?" he inquired curiously; pushing the bedroom door open and hearing the stereo playing. It was a Queen song; "_Don't Stop Me Now"_ from memory. Curious as to what was going on, Naruto peered around the corner and into the kitchen, where Sasuke was at the stove; still in his pyjama pants and his apron, muttering along with the song.

"…I'm burning through the sky, yeah," Sasuke was muttering, nodding his head and tapping his spatula in time to the beat. "…Two hundred degrees; that's why they call me mister Fahrenheit…I'm travelling at the speed of light…"

"_I wanna make a supersonic man out of you!_" Naruto chimed in dramatically; leaping into the kitchen and grooving along to the chorus; dancing around the raven.

"Fuck!" Sasuke swore; startled by his sudden appearance and glaring at the blonde who was teasingly lipsyncing with a wooden spoon as a microphone, "…Oi, moron; what do you think you're doing?"

" –Being Freddie Mercury, obviously!" Naruto exclaimed, as though it was completely obvious. Sasuke scoffed openly; swatting him with his spatula when the blonde tried to sneak a piece of bacon.

"You could never even _begin_ to compare to Freddie Mercury," he sniffed, "Oi; go away. Set the table if you want breakfast."

"So some of it _is_ for me!" he exclaimed in delight; heading over to grab plates and cutlery and put the jug on; he knew Sasuke liked a morning coffee. "What're we eating?"

"Bacon," Sasuke replied; pointing to one of the pans he was cooking in, "Eggs; mushrooms; I've got hash browns in the oven and tomatoes for me because I know you won't bloody eat them…"

"Juice?" Naruto inquired, blue eyes glinting hopefully.

"Fridge," Sasuke rolled his eyes helplessly, "And don't spill it on my clothes, thanks."

It wasn't too much longer before Naruto was digging into breakfast with the uncouth way he always ate; Sasuke across the table, looking more reserved and sipping at his coffee like a mature adult. Naruto, however, was overjoyed that the raven had remembered to get some of his favourite juice.

"What are your plans for today?" Naruto inquired between mouthfuls. Sasuke just shrugged noncommittally.

" –Going for a run before lunch," he replied disinterestedly, "There's an exhibit at the museum on ancient weapons, so I thought I might go see –"

"_Oh my god!_" the blonde exclaimed, "Are you serious? Like, actually serious? I _have_ to go! I _have _to! Do you understand, Sasuke? Can I come? Can I please?"

"Tch…thought you hated _learning_," Sasuke mocked childishly.

" –The museum is cool," Naruto sniffed, "And _ancient weaponry_! That is totally awesome, and you know it! Can I come?"

"If you want," Sasuke shrugged, chewing on a tomato, "But we have to be home by five."

"Why –oh…" Naruto grumbled, "Right…I have work, and you have a date." The Uchiha shrugged again, and Naruto added wickedly, "Can I pick out your outfit?"

"No."

"Oh come on, Sasuke, why not?"

"…Orange, Naruto."

" –No, I promise, no orange –anyway, the only orange you own is your apron," Naruto sniffed, folding his arms crossly, "I'm really good at picking outfits! Ino trusts me enough to let me help _her_! That should give _some_ indication of my fashion sense!" Sasuke snorted into his coffee in amusement and the blonde glared at him huffily. "Fine, be like that. Be unappealing to her!"

"Loser," Sasuke chuckled to himself.

"Oi!" he snapped crossly; flicking a piece of egg at him, "Thanks for breakfast by the way. It was better than that icky bran stuff you make me eat."

"It's healthy, Naruto," he remarked flatly.

"_It's healthy, Naruto_," Naruto mocked, brandishing his fork, "It's _gross_, that's what. Can I come for a run?"

"If you think you can keep up," Sasuke smirked, immediately noticing the competitive glint in the blonde's eyes. Naruto fiercely stuff a forkful of eggs and bacon into his mouth and chewed it aggressively.

"…Let's make this interesting," he dared, "You lose; you buy me lunch. I lose; I buy _you_ lunch."

"Deal," Sasuke chuckled as the blonde grinned.

" –Can I borrow some gear?" he inquired curiously; taking their now empty plates and dropping them off in the kitchen; noting that Sasuke had already done the dishes from the night before. Just what time did he get up?

" –There's some of your gym gear in my top drawer," Sasuke hollered from the kitchen, "You keep leaving it here."

"Sorry, not sorry!" Naruto called out with a laugh as he headed off to the bedroom to get changed. It would be a terrible idea to go for a run now, since they'd just eaten, but if he stayed in his pyjamas –Sasuke's pyjamas –any longer, he'd want to stay in them all day.

"Put _Ultimate Ninja Storm _on!" he squawked.

"No."

"_Please_!"

"You fell asleep in the movie we watched last night."

"But we just ate…and I'm not tired anymore!" he called back, and there was the sound of a drawer opening, "…Jeez Sasuke…what's with all this gay porn…there something you want to tell me?"

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke snapped irritably; his eyes narrowing in worry for a moment.

" –I'm just winding you up," Naruto cackled as the raven grudgingly headed over to find Naruto's all-time favourite movie and throw it in the DVD player. He'd never admit it, but it was one of his favourites as well.

* * *

"I never get tired of that…" Naruto exclaimed about an hour and a half later as the credits began rolling. Sasuke just facepalmed and looked at his practically destroyed living room. Naruto had a terrible habit of trying to reproduce some of the fight scenes in the movie…very badly. "Come on, Sasuke! I'm so ready for a run right now! That was an awesome warm-up!" The raven just rolled his eyes and headed off to get changed.

As Naruto opened the front door, he saw a familiar platinum-haired man stalking up the hallway towards him.

"Hidan?" he queried in surprise; an eyebrow raised in obvious surprise.

"Morning, Naruto," Hidan smirked wickedly; carrying two takeaway coffee cups and a bag of what he presumed was lunch. "Didn't know you fucking lived around here?"

"I don't," Naruto replied in confusion, "I crashed at Sasuke's last night. What are _you_ doing here?" Suddenly, one of the doors across the hallway was yanked open with a mutinous growl, and another familiar face appeared in just a shirt that was much too big for him; hair down and suitably tangled.

"Dei?" he commented curiously. The blonde figure froze, mid insult, and looked over his shoulder very guiltily. Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle the giggles. Deidara looked _wrecked_. His neck was marred with hickeys; his lips were swollen –his terrible hair was blatantly sex-hair, and it was now incredibly obvious that even standing was proving uncomfortable.

"…Hi," Deidara muttered sheepishly, glaring at Hidan, "Where _were_ you, yeah? I was fucking…"

" –Breakfast?" Hidan pointed out; holding up his purchases with a smirk.

"…I thought you'd gone, yeah…" the blonde grumbled; accepting the coffee and hanging his head; highly embarrassed that Naruto had caught him looking like this. His legs were shaking as though standing was an effort.

"Oh, doesn't he look just so fucking _cute_ after he's been pounded?" Hidan teased.

" –So, you finally gave in to him?" Naruto inquired in amusement as Deidara –who looked like he hadn't had a great deal of sleep, nodded flatly.

"…Over and over…" Hidan grinned wickedly, "C'mon Deidara…back to bed…"

"Do _not_ order me 'back to bed', yeah," Deidara snapped, "We are _not_ having sex again yet!"

"_Yet_, he says," the bigger man chuckled gleefully, "We'll fucking see about that…"

"Hidan!" Deidara growled crossly as he was shepherded back into his own apartment; Naruto waving teasingly.

" –Oh seriously; you fucking thought you could just put on my shirt and expect it to _not_ fucking turn me on…"

"Have fun, Dei!"

"_Fuck you, Naruto_!" The door slammed shut again.

" –What was that?" Sasuke inquired curiously; coming to the door and locking it behind them as they headed into the hall.

" –Deidara and Hidan," Naruto replied slowly. Sasuke looked at him questioningly.

"Sex?"

"…Oh yeah," he laughed, "God, you should've _seen_ Deidara! He was so embarrassed!" Sasuke just had to chuckle at how much Naruto suddenly burst out laughing. "At least Deidara finally acknowledged that he wanted him! Anyway; you're totally going down."

"First one back here wins," Sasuke smirked.

" –Oi; how will I get in?" he complained, "You locked the door." Sasuke just rolled his eyes and tossed him a key. Naruto smirked; zipping it into his pocket as they headed for the stairs, "Once around the park and back home, right?" Sasuke just nodded shortly.

As soon as they reached the ground floor of Sasuke's building, the race was on; Naruto taking off even before they'd gotten outside. Sasuke, chuckling at the blonde's determination to beat him, raced after him.

They were pretty much neck and neck the entire way around the park; Naruto pulling ahead at the end when a dog suddenly decided that Sasuke was his new best friend and insisted on chasing him until the owner suddenly realised that their dog was being a pest. Sasuke could hear the blonde's laughing from the distance.

Sasuke genuinely hadn't meant for Naruto to win, but that dog had made sure that he'd lost precious ground. The door was unlocked and the shower just turning off as he entered his apartment again; sweating and panting. With a groan, he toppled onto the couch. God, he really needed to run more often…

"Welcome home, slowpoke!" Naruto called out cheerfully as he emerged from the bathroom; drying his hair; taking one look at the exhausted Uchiha on the couch and throwing his towel on top of him. "Bit unfit, are we, Uchiha?"

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped, "When I go for runs, I don't usually sprint the entire way…"

"Excuses, excuses," Naruto sniffed, "Hurry up and shower; where are we going for lunch?" Sasuke let out a groan and dragged himself off the couch; whipping Naruto with the towel as he headed over to shower. "Oh, where do you want me to put the spare key you gave me?"

"Keep it," Sasuke shrugged, "You always nag me about getting one anyway…" He looked up to see that Naruto's eyes were bright with joy as he looked down at the key held in his hand. He rolled his eyes and braced himself; knowing that in about three seconds, he was going to be on the receiving end of a too-tight embrace.

"You mean it?" Naruto exclaimed; leaping over and wrapping the Uchiha in a bear hug.

"Yeah –ugh, let go, moron…I'm all sweaty…" Sasuke complained flatly; pushing Naruto's face away. "Ugh…" Naruto started laughing like mad as Sasuke staggered under his weight and finally succeeded in freeing himself. "Are you wearing my clothes?" he added with a raised eyebrow, before he headed into the bathroom.

"Well I didn't have anything else to wear," Naruto sniffed flatly, tugging on the shirt he was wearing; a plain black t-shirt. "You have so much black in your wardrobe, you know?" Sasuke just scoffed and headed in to have his shower.

* * *

In the end, they wound up having ramen for lunch; during which, Naruto tried to quiz Sasuke about his date.

"Oh come on," he complained as Sasuke gave him an even stare; giving nothing away. "At least tell me where you're taking her?"

" –You'd just find a way to be there."

"…Okay, so you got me," Naruto admitted with a shrug, "But I can't help but be curious, bastard! Why are you being so secretive? Have I met her before? Is it Sakura? –Oh wait, I set her up with Sai…" Sasuke just hummed in amusement, sipping at his coffee wordlessly, "Sasuke, you're mean, you know that?"

"So you keep telling me."

"Are you going to eat that?"

Without answering, Sasuke just pushed his unfinished meal across the table and allowed himself a small smile. Naruto really was a bottomless pit when it came to ramen.

"…You could've asked her to set me up, you know?" Naruto grumbled with his mouth full, "We could've gone on a double date or something. You know how much I love Valentine's Day. I don't want to spend it alone."

"Maybe next year," Sasuke smirked.

" –You _always_ say that," he sighed heavily. "Every year you always say that you'll set me up next year." He pouted and Sasuke just shrugged innocently. "So you at least tell me _something_ about her, right? Maybe, if you don't like her, she might like me?"

"Like anyone could put up with you…" he scoffed teasingly and was amused to see Naruto stick his tongue out at him.

"That's unfair," he grumbled.

" –When did you last have a girlfriend that lasted longer than two months?" Sasuke reminded him.

" –I'll thank you to _not_ bring up the failure that is my love life," he sniffed crossly. "They just weren't right, you know? I knew it. They knew it. I just can't find what's _right_."

"…Probably because you're an absolute moron," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Rude bastard," Naruto scoffed; slurping up his ramen, "So, are we going to the museum or not?"

"Do you want to go home and get a jacket first?" Sasuke sighed, "The air conditioning in the museum always makes you cold and you always complain –"

"I'll be _fine_," Naruto sniffed, "And I do _not_ complain about being cold! Can we _please_ go? Please?" Sasuke chuckled to himself and waved over to the waitress to bring them the bill. She giggled as Naruto excused himself to the bathroom while Sasuke sorted out payment.

" –On the house for you two," she assured him with a smile, "If I hadn't already known it was Valentine's Day, your two faces in here would've told me right away!"

"Let me pay," Sasuke offered, but she shook her head insistently.

"Not on your life," she laughed, "This is what, your sixth Valentine's Day coming here together? Just seeing the way the two of you look at each other is enough payment for me!" Sasuke rolled his eyes with a sigh and facepalmed; embarrassed that she had to say such a thing. She seemed to understand his frustration and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "…Oh…He still hasn't realised, I take it?" He gave her a dry look. "Well, you know what they say? 'There is no disguise that can for long conceal love where it exists'; or something?"

"…You'd be surprised," he replied.

"Maybe you should just tell him?" she commented with a heavy sigh. "I mean…if he still doesn't get it after all this time?" Sasuke just shook his head simply as he finished his coffee. "Well…good luck for this year, sir." She departed without letting him pay.

Sasuke got up and headed over to wait for Naruto at the door. He wondered if Naruto had noticed that since the year after they'd left high school, he'd been bringing him to this particular diner on Valentine's Day and treating him to ramen. Usually they went to Ichiraku's, but on Valentine's Day only, they came here; as something…special.

"Okay, bastard; come on, we're going to the museum!" Naruto exclaimed gleefully.

"Watch your language, idiot, there are children around," Sasuke muttered. Naruto just grinned at him so brightly that the raven had to smile back softly.

* * *

"Nope. Too casual," Naruto declared with a shake of his head as he lounged on Sasuke's bed whilst on the raven's laptop; scrolling through photos from earlier that day.

"You didn't even…" Sasuke rolled his eyes before removing the t-shirt he was wearing and shifting through his wardrobe for something else.

" –Don't even think about touching that black dress shirt," Naruto warned; still not even looking at him, "You're going on a date; not going to work." Sasuke made an annoyed noise, "Hey, look, Sasuke! You're smiling in a couple of these!" He spun the laptop around; a picture of the pair of them standing outside on the museum steps by the fountain on display; Naruto splashing Sasuke playfully.

"It wasn't intentional," Sasuke glared darkly. Since there was an exhibition going on, there were a few professional photographers lingering around. And since Naruto loved being the centre of attention, he demanded pictures. The photographers had loved his enthusiasm and the raven's lack of it; giving them the website where they could look at the pictures when they were uploaded.

"We are totally getting copies of these," Naruto laughed, "I need physical evidence that you are capable of smiling!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke muttered, pressing a hand to his brow in annoyance.

"Wear the purple one," Naruto declared; looking over and seeing Sasuke standing there in his dark grey jeans; shirtless, and hands on his hips in annoyance. He blinked a few times; swallowing nervously as he took a good look at his friend's body.

" –Face is up here," Sasuke snorted, turning to find the shirt that the blonde had suggested. Naruto buried his face into the duvet in embarrassment and mumbled something. "What was that?"

"…Black t-shirt underneath," Naruto snorted, before returning to browsing through the pictures from earlier that day. His mouse paused over one particular one.

It was a photo from where the pair of them had just been wandering around –he hadn't known this was being taken. He was looking up at Sasuke with a grin; his eyes softening, and the Uchiha was looking down at him with a small smile that was even evident in his eyes. Naruto swallowed as he stared at the picture. Did he really look at Sasuke like that? They were standing close together; he hadn't realised just how close, at the time. There was something…something intimate about just…everything. With a small frown, he took a look through the photos again.

Wow. He really did look at Sasuke like that a lot.

But that little look…as he looked through the rest of the pictures, he came to realise that he wasn't the only person wearing that look. That particular look was evident on the faces of the other couples photographed. With a sigh, he kept scrolling. Had to be coincidence.

"Better?" Sasuke sighed in exasperation, and Naruto looked up to see that he was adjusting his purple, short-sleeved shirt; leaving the buttons open to reveal the black shirt underneath; accompanied by his Uchiha family crest pendant.

"Perfect," Naruto replied with a thumbs up, "…Although your hair still looks like a duck's ass…"

"Come over here and say that," Sasuke snapped flatly; running a hand through his hair and letting his bangs fall back into place. He checked his watch. "It's five-ten. Do you want a ride to work?"

"Yeah," he sighed heavily, getting up from the bed and slamming the laptop shut, "The Lonely Night Out starts at six, but I should go help decorate. It's just going to be me with Deidara and Itachi –and Kisame. Although I'm glad Deidara finally accepted that he liked Hidan…otherwise I think the room would've imploded from denial."

"Oh I can just imagine," Sasuke remarked sarcastically; yanking his jacket off Naruto and dragging it on. As predicted, Naruto had gotten cold at the museum and demanded the raven's jacket. Like usual. "Come on loser, I'll drop you off. I have a few things to do."

"Get her some roses," Naruto suggested as he followed the Uchiha to the door; having decided to continue wearing his clothes to work, "Are you getting wine? Do you know what she prefers? Some people don't like red. You're not even really that big into wine…Make sure you get _red_ roses –not yellow. I thought yellow roses were cute, but apparently they're for _friendship_…" He trailed off, shaking his head in exasperation at women reading into the meanings of flowers.

" –You look _fine_," Naruto snorted; seeing Sasuke checking his appearance in the mirror again. "She'd be crazy to not leap into bed with you tonight." A trace of jealousy crept into his voice, and by the way Sasuke raised an eyebrow, he'd caught on to it.

"Jealous, much?" he mocked.

"…Only coz you're getting laid tonight and I'm spending it with Deidara; who has probably been having sex all day, and Itachi; who _could've_ been having sex all day if he just admitted that he wanted Kisame to jump his bones…" the blonde grumbled; blushing slightly. "It's not fair that you always have a date when you don't even want one, and I literally cannot get one. Valentine's Day alone sucks…" He sighed heavily; but decided that even if he didn't have a date, he was going to use the evening to cheer up the other lonely souls.

Sasuke just ran a hand down his face in exasperation as they left the apartment.

If Naruto wasn't such an oblivious idiot, he might've actually realised that he hadn't spent Valentine's Day alone in over six years.

* * *

**And because I am a big meanie, I'm splitting the big day into two chapters! In the second chapter we'll see how Naruto's night goes. Will he find his special someone (or figure it out) this year? I'm loving writing this, so if I get a few excited reviews I might even post the next chapter within the next twenty-four hours. *winks* **

**As always, I appreciate you all reading! **

**xx K**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here we are, and within twenty-four hours, as promised, I believe. I was going to be mean and divide it again, since it's so long, but you've all been waiting so patiently that it would have just been cruel to keep you hanging on ****_again_****. So here is Valentine's Day, Part Two. **

**Enjoy. **

****LEMON WARNING** (Just sayin'). Also featuring Itachi getting the crap embarrassed out of him by a scheming Deidara...**

* * *

"_He said 'son can you play me a memory…I'm not really sure how it goes…_" Itachi sang along with the live pianist that was creating the fitting atmosphere in the bar. Currently, there were three people sitting in the bar; two men and a woman. The woman had been approached by one of the men, and they'd been sharing drinks for about an hour how. The other man was Gaara; dressed in a baggy maroon dress shirt and dark jeans.

"Wow," Gaara commented, looking around at the combination of red, black, white and pink decorations; sheets hanging down from the walls and paper hearts dangling from the ceiling, "You really know how to set the mood, Naruto."

"This is the Lonely Night Out," Naruto reminded him pointedly, "We don't want loved-up couples coming in and making everyone feel more bitter about their forever-aloneness, do we?"

"Fair enough," Gaara admitted into his drink with a sigh. "No luck with the date this year, then?"

"Not at all," Naruto grumbled, "I just can't catch a break! It's like something's been sabotaging me my entire life!"

"No way," Itachi commented flatly, "However can you think that? Who would do such a thing as to sabotage you from finding dates? No one I know, at all…"

"I know, right!" Naruto squawked. Gaara and Itachi, though they barely knew each other, just exchanged looks and sighed heavily. "Where's Deidara?"

"…Resting…" Itachi commented irritably.

"Again?"

"…He's having a bit of trouble walking," his boss informed him unsympathetically. The door to the kitchen was kicked open as Deidara limped out; obviously having had heard his name, followed by mocking.

"I am _fine_," he snapped crossly; wincing as he moved. He grimaced and leaned heavily on the couch.

"…Do you like, want some aspirin or something?" Naruto offered kindly, since Itachi obviously thought that Deidara deserved to suffer for the moment. "Seriously, what, have you been having sex like all day or something?"

"…Don't make me answer that," Deidara grumbled; closing his eyes in shame.

"_All day_?" Itachi commented in disbelief.

"He's _very_ persuasive, yeah…" the blonde muttered, his cheeks flushing red. "Anyway, when I got out of the shower to get ready for work, he was gone, yeah, so that's probably the last I'll see of him." He shrugged disinterestedly, though both Itachi and Naruto heard the slight disappointment in his voice.

" –Don't worry, Dei," Naruto chuckled; clapping him on the shoulder and sniggering a little when Deidara winced in discomfort at the gesture, "…There are so many fish in the sea, and you seem to be able to turn most of them gay, so we'll find you someone, I'm sure. Gaara?" Deidara and Gaara turned to look at each other for a moment before both shaking their heads apologetically.

"No," they agreed, "Too cute." Naruto just shrugged, as if to say, 'well, I tried.'

"How about you, Itachi, yeah?" Deidara remarked slyly with a nod across the bar to the redhead, "Or is tonight the night that you cave and make sweet, sweet love to the hunky bouncer?"

"There will be no _making love_," Itachi growled firmly.

" –Fine then; are you going to cave and let him rabidly fuck you against a door?" he rephrased, causing both Gaara and Naruto to snort into their drinks. Itachi gripped the bench tightly and glared at the two bartenders, "Well hey, it's better than a lonely night at home with porn and your vi –"

"_That's enough, Deidara_!" Itachi's voice approached an octave higher than usual as he stalked off to welcome the tear-stained woman who had just entered the bar alone. His face softened as he immediately shouted her a drink and settled down to listen to her story.

"Oh _please_ tell me you were going to say what I think you were going to say," Naruto cackled into his hand.

"Hell yeah," Deidara chortled wickedly.

"I think his reaction indicates that you just hit the nail on the head about his plans for later on," Gaara commented with an awkward cough; Deidara and Naruto sniggering away and Itachi's ears turning red with both anger and embarrassment.

About half an hour later, they actually started to get a bit busier. The pianist was playing a beautiful rendition of 'Fix You' by Coldplay, and there was a low hum of people sharing Valentine's Day failures, and the sound of loneliness filling the air. The boxes of tissues, make-up wipes and the number of teary-eyed women increased exponentially.

"On me," Naruto informed the guy he'd been listening to, sliding a cider across the bar, "From the sound of it, she wasn't worth it, man. If she ran off with some other guy, she obviously didn't appreciate you. Now you're free to find someone who you deserve."

"You think?"

"I know," he assured him, "It's gonna be hard to move on after all the emotion you've invested in her, but this is gonna prove to be right for you. We all have to find that person we deserve, and who deserves us. And she did not deserve you, my good man." The man looked up at him gratefully and accepted the drink with a small smile; wandering over to the pianist to request a sing.

"Poor guy," Naruto murmured to Gaara sadly as he watched Deidara sitting at a table of obviously-single women and joined in complaining about the inconsistency of men and how they were only after one thing, and why was it so hard to find a guy who wanted to stick around. "Girlfriend left him for another man. Told him that this new guy; when she saw him, she just knew that he was the one."

"I thought you were all about that?" Gaara commented flatly.

"Well yeah, but when handled properly," Naruto reminded him, "Heartbreak's a fact of life…but no one deserves to get screwed over…"

" –Tch…" Gaara scoffed, "She saw the guy and just _knew_? That's fairy-tale shit right there. Please…She probably just found the new guy more attractive. Love at first sight isn't a real thing."

"Finally…someone who agrees with me," a snobby voice commented haughtily, and Naruto looked up in time to see Neji taking a seat at the bar. The Hyuuga was presented as well as ever; looking more crisp than usual, if that was possible. "Naruto, you're not spouting that love crap again are you?"

"Neji, it's Valentine's Day, and it's me," Naruto pointed out with a short laugh.

"…He's like a preacher on Christmas," Gaara snorted dryly, taking a deep scull of his cider. "It's exhausting, but I'm used to it."

"…Naruto does get carried away with his speeches about love, doesn't he?" Neji commented, "Tequila. Now."

"Yes, sir," Naruto saluted with a chuckle; producing two shot glasses from thin air after seeing Gaara nod to join in the round. "Gaara, Neji doesn't believe in love. He thinks that people just stick around someone for so long that they wind up convincing themselves they've fallen in love."

"Well…I at least believe it exists," Gaara shrugged, reaching for his drink, "But familiarity has to have something to do with it, I guess…"

"Valentine's Day is absurd…" Neji muttered.

"I'll drink to that," the redhead admitted, "Who are you, sorry?"

"Oh, how rude of me," Naruto exclaimed, "Gaara, meet Neji. Neji, this is Gaara. I'll leave the bottle so you guys can bond over how amazing I am and how much you hate Valentine's Day!" Neji glared at the blonde, before taking his shot. He and Gaara clinked glasses and knocked the tequila back before lowering their empty glasses very slowly; gazes locked.

"…Naruto…what are you up to?" Deidara inquired; not trusting the angelic look the blonde was wearing as he merrily skipped past.

"Oh that?" Naruto commented lightly, "Just call me Cupid, coz I can turn cynics into romantics. _Believe it_!" Deidara just groaned in exasperation, shaking his head.

"But isn't Neji like the biggest cynic in the world, yeah?"

"You sorely underestimate the power of love, Deidara, my friend," Naruto chuckled, "Now, let's all get really drunk; how does that sound?"

"Absolutely perfect."

" –Did someone mention getting fucking hammered?" a familiar voice suddenly remarked, and all three bartenders looked up in surprise to see Hidan striding into the bar with his hands clasped behind his back.

"What are _you_ doing here, yeah?" Deidara snapped snidely, "Thought you'd decided to piss off after fucking me?"

"You think I'm way more fucking heartless than I am, you know?" Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes and planting both hands on the bar. In one hand there was a rose, and a takeaway box in the other. Deidara looked at the two items in confusion. "…I went to fucking get you dinner while you were in the shower, Deidara…" the man sighed heavily, "…It took longer than I thought, and when I got back, you were fucking gone." Deidara's mouth fell open in disbelief.

"Asshole!" he snapped; cuffing him over the back of the head violently, "You could've told me! Or called me?"

"I wanted to fucking surprise you, okay?" Hidan yelped, "…And you never gave me your fucking number…" Deidara's mouth snapped shut with a guilty click; remembering that detail quite clearly. "I would've dropped by here sooner, but I had to find somewhere that _wasn't_ out of bloody roses…" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and pushed the gifts across the bench.

"Uhh…happy Valentine's Day."

Deidara paused for a long moment. "…And could I maybe grab that fucking number; I'd kinda like to call you." Without another word; Deidara lunged across the bar and grabbed the other man by the neck and reeled him in for a deep kiss.

Hidan pumped his fist triumphantly as he kissed back sensually; the blonde moaning a little as their tongues met.

"God, get your cute, happy shit out of my bar," Itachi grumbled flatly as Deidara pulled back slightly; and the pair of them just…_stared_ at each other for a moment. Naruto felt his stomach lurch as he recognised that exact look that both of them were wearing. What was…

" –Someone said something about drinking," Hidan interrupted his thoughts with a grin, and Deidara pushed his face away in irritation as he brandished a bottle of vodka. "Shots for everyone in here, on me."

* * *

It was only nine o'clock but the scent of alcohol was strong in the air. The karaoke had already started –Valentine's Day was one of the few nights of the year that people would feel perfectly comfortable singing sad, sappy songs with complete strangers. As Naruto busied himself with trying to get Itachi drunk, some poor guy and girl had found that they both had a passion for The Cure and were currently singing along to 'Pictures of You'. He looked up as the door opened; plying Itachi with another row of vodka shots.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he immediately inquired in surprise, when he realised that the person currently approaching the bar was _Sasuke Uchiha_.

"Getting a drink," came Sasuke's indifferent reply.

"…Didn't you have a date?" Naruto sniffed; trying to keep the bitterness from his voice.

"Didn't work out," the raven shrugged vaguely and Naruto sighed heavily; adding a shot glass to the line he was preparing. "What's new?"

" –Deidara and Hidan are apparently dating; Neji and Gaara have been chatting for almost two hours, and if someone requests 'White Flag' by Dido one more time, I think I'm going to go nuts," Naruto sighed. Sasuke just shrugged as though none of this was really that interesting. "How about you? What was she like? Why didn't it work out?"

"I knew it wasn't right," was all Sasuke would say on the matter. Naruto groaned in annoyance at the raven's refusal to indulge his curiosity. "…Are you trying to get my brother drunk?" he added with a raised eyebrow as he and the blonde both knocked back two vodka shots in quick succession.

"Desperately," Naruto affirmed, "He's been looking at the door every like thirty seconds for about two hours now, and it's driving me and Deidara insane." Sasuke gave him a dry look and peered over his shoulder to where it was largely apparent that Hidan had Deidara pressed up against a wall and was kissing the life out of him. "…Okay, so it's driving me insane."

"Understandably," Sasuke chuckled in amusement. "So I take it you haven't found your 'true love' here tonight?" Naruto just shook his head dejectedly as he started fixing them a drink.

"There've been a lot of nice women," he admitted with a shrug, "But…none of them were, you know…_right_. Ugh…sometimes it makes me just wanna quit looking, you know?"

"…The Naruto Uzumaki _I_ know doesn't quit," Sasuke scoffed mockingly and Naruto glared at him.

"Shut up, you bastard," Naruto snapped, sticking out his tongue and beginning to rant, "It's exhausting! I thought that you know, when I fell in love, I'd know just instantly; but it's so hard! I mean, what if I just haven't been looking hard enough and just glanced over that person? Maybe I just really have no idea what love is like! I'm twenty-five years old; the closest I've ever been to actually falling in love was Sakura, in high school –and really, that was just a crush. I'm here dealing out advice on love to crying, lonely women, when I'm incurably single; a hopeless romantic, and the closest I've ever come to a stable relationship is you! I probably wouldn't know my true love if it was standing right in front of me, with neon signs and a brass band….and Lycra." Sasuke outwardly cringed; resting his face into the palm of his hand.

"Well, you are so right about that that it is physically painful for everyone around you," the Uchiha informed him dryly, "…But you're being melodramatic." Naruto let out a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" he chuckled sheepishly, before clapping his hands together, "There's still so much time left in the night! Sasuke, you can help me by talking me up to any available women that approach you; got it?" He was about to say something else, but spied a mascara-stained young woman approaching the bar looking as though she was about to burst out crying all over again. Immediately, Naruto darted off to grab the makeup wipes and a margarita.

* * *

"A hundred bucks each says I can get Itachi to fuck Kisame, yeah," Deidara bet gleefully as he shared shots with Naruto and Sasuke at the bar a bit later on when the sobbing had subsided for the meantime and the karaoke was actually not too bad.

"You're kidding, right?" Naruto snorted, "There's no way in _hell_ you can do that! Right, Sasuke?" Sasuke just scoffed under his breath.

"Then you stand to be a hundred bucks richer, yeah," Deidara chuckled slyly. Naruto and Sasuke exchanged curious glances. Deidara looked very confident, and they'd been trying to get this to happen for some time…

"I'll take that bet," the blonde eventually decided, "You're on." Sasuke just nodded shortly, "Sasuke's in, too."

" –You two just watch and learn, yeah," Deidara smirked.

Itachi sighed heavily, blinking a few times to clear his head a little as he approached the bar. Damn that bratty Uzumaki, trying to get him drunk. He'd thought he had a higher tolerance than this…

The tray landed on the bar with a light clink as he finished clearing the latest round of drinks.

"Good to see you back behind the bar," he commented dryly to Deidara, whose limp had apparently worsened in recent times. "...Are you and Hidan quite finished?"

"…Oh you're so funny, Itachi," Deidara snapped, "…I sent him home, yeah. I'm glad he wants to stick around but _god_ my ass cannot take another pounding tonight." He grinned wickedly, "…Yours though, could probably do with a good stret –"

"Shut up, Deidara," Itachi growled darkly, before glaring down the bar at Naruto and Sasuke, who were sniggering expectantly. "Don't encourage him –Sasuke what are you…oh right, silly me. Why do I even bother asking…" He rolled his eyes.

"…What's he talking about?" Naruto inquired curiously.

"Nothing."

"Go on, Itachi, yeah," Deidara urged evilly, nodding over to where Kisame was having a beer with an attractive woman over on the couches at the back of the room. "…Think of how much better the real thing is compared to a –"

"Stop it. Shut up," Itachi hissed, "I do not have…That is none of your business."

"…I _really_ didn't want to know that about my brother," Sasuke deadpanned; glaring over at Deidara.

"…This is never going to work," Naruto muttered as a low chuckle.

" –When was the last time you had sex, yeah?" Deidara persisted innocently, "I mean, god are you going to be tight now. You're going to be able to feel every throb of his thick –"

"_DEIDARA_!"

" –Unless of course you've been _practicing_," the blonde murmured in a low, knowing tone, "He's bound to be hung, yeah. Just imagine what it'd be like riding that. Mmm…" He let out a soft purr as Itachi started turning red, "…The way he'd move deep inside you, yeah…Bet you like it deep, Itachi, am I right? Bet you'd want him spreading you open and –"

"I don't need to listen to this shit!" Itachi growled; his voice actually rising with anger as he began to walk away.

" –You're imagining it, yeah, aren't you, Itachi?" Deidara's voice grew in volume, "How he'd bend you over the table right there and push his enormous cock into you. You'll be so tight so you'll tell him to stop; but you won't want him to, yeah, because sometimes you like it when it hurts…" Itachi was trying to block out the blonde's words, but it was becoming more difficult because people were beginning to stare.

" –And it feels too good to have something inside you again –" Deidara's voice grew louder again. Both Sasuke and Naruto were finding themselves going red –both from embarrassment and from trying to hold in their laughter. "With his hand around your cock, you'll scream his name…And then the feeling when he cums inside you…" All of a sudden, he found a hand clamped across his mouth and Itachi's horrified eyes leering at him from only millimetres away.

"I will do literally anything for you to never, ever speak like that around me again," Itachi practically begged.

"Why?" Deidara commented cheekily, "Is it turning you on, yeah?"

"Anything," Itachi repeated, "Just stop. Stop."

"I'll stop," the blonde assured him simply; letting Itachi look thoroughly relieved for a brief moment before adding, "If you go straddle Kisame right now and make out with him." His boss's expression darkened all over again.

"_Not happening_."

" –And when you feel his cum leak from…"

"Fine!" Itachi snapped in alarm as Deidara immediately looked at him expectantly. "…How long…how long do I have to…"

"Three minutes."

"Three minutes?"

"Take it or get ready to hear some hot gay sex, yeah," Deidara smirked, "I'll use names; and that's not a bluff, yeah."

" –That's it; I'm firing you," Itachi growled darkly, "When did you become Suigetsu? I thought _he_ was the one with the dirty mouth."

"Nah, it was always Deidara," Naruto assured him with a snigger, "…It's just that his was always occupied…" Deidara flicked his middle finger at the blonde but looked at Itachi expectantly.

"On that note; I think I'm qualified to give detailed play-by-plays of blow jobs, yeah," Deidara sniffed; folding his arms.

"_Three minutes_," Itachi glared; jabbing a finger at him, "…When I get back; I'm firing you. This is fucking harassment." He flung his tea towel at the blonde aggressively, before turning on his heel and beginning to stalk over to Kisame.

"…I underestimated you," Naruto breathed. "Did you take it too far?"

"Nah," Sasuke assured him, "Itachi knows he wants it…"

"…Are we going to time him?" Naruto inquired curiously.

"No need," Deidara smirked wickedly.

Itachi let out a quick breath as he stalked over to Kisame. He couldn't _believe_ he was about to do this, especially under blackmail. But he had no doubt that Deidara would carry out his threat…and continue to hound him forever if he didn't put an end to this right now.

"Itachi," Kisame greeted with a brief nod. Itachi just looked down his nose at him and looked at the woman he was with, with a touch of disdain.

" –If you have any objection to homosexuality, I suggest you depart," he informed her flatly.

"I'm good. I was quite enjoying the blonde bartender's play through actually," she remarked. Itachi paled with the realisation that they could hear Deidara from back here. Kisame was watching him curiously.

"…Might I inquire as to who Deidara was talking about?" he asked innocently.

"No," Itachi snapped, and then grimaced, "…To avoid potential sexual harassment claims…I'm going to ask…if I can straddle you…" Kisame actually snickered and looked over Itachi's shoulder to see the three other staff members giving him a thumbs up.

"Make yourself comfortable," Kisame commented; gesturing at his lap invitingly. Gritting his teeth, Itachi slowly approached the couch; sinking a knee down to one side of Kisame's thighs and then mounting him in one swift movement; arms placed to either side of his head.

"I'm guessing those kids had something to do this and you're being manipulated against your will," Kisame remarked conversationally.

"Got it in one," Itachi sniffed haughtily.

"I'll try to make this as painless as possible," he replied mockingly. "…Although if I go by what Deidara was saying –" Itachi, not wanting to be reminded of this, quickly leaned in and pressed his lips up against the bouncer's, silencing him and mentally counting the seconds go by.

Kisame began kissing back; their mouths pressing together perfectly in deep, languid movements. Itachi felt a tongue trail roughly against the seam of his lips and found himself allowing it to delve into his mouth. Big hands gripped his sides as his hands, once gripping the couch, slowly slid around Kisame's neck.

Heat began to pool in Itachi's gut as he became hyperaware of the thick thighs beneath him; Deidara's words coming flooding back unbidden.

_He's bound to be hung. Imagine riding him…_Unconsciously, Itachi shifted so that their hips were pressed closer together; rising slightly to force the kiss into a better angle. _Bet you like it deep, Itachi_…The heat grew more intense; pouring through his system as he gripped Kisame's hair tightly and his kisses became hungrier. Their chests collided as Kisame's tongue ravaged his mouth fiercely; Itachi's hips rolling up against the other man's groin. _You're imagining it, aren't you_?

He was very definitely imagining it, and it was not difficult to imagine. Hell, he'd been imagining it and dreaming about it for far too long now, and trying to deny such things. As he moved against Kisame; he ran a hand down his chest; felt the rippling abs and muscles beneath his shirt. His hips moved on their own accord; grinding slowly but forcefully down against the other man's. Kisame's hands were running along his back; gripping his long hair tightly and lingering on his lower back. Annoyed at the teasing, one of Itachi's hands viciously grabbed one of Kisame's and planted it securely on his ass. He let out a low moan into the other man's mouth as he felt thick digits grip his flesh tightly, before one slid down the seam of his ass with pressure in just the right places.

…How many seconds had passed? He'd lost count. Better start again.

"I never thought I'd see the day that my brother dry humped a man in public," Sasuke deadpanned; Naruto's mouth already having fallen open.

"Holy shit, Deidara," the blonde commented as Itachi's mouth left Kisame's and kissed down his neck sensually; Kisame leaning back and enjoying the attention; both of his hands now comfortably against the raven's ass. "How'd you know…"

"I know a bit about denial, yeah," Deidara cringed crossly. "Just a little taste…and control's gone…" He looked pointedly at Sasuke, who chose to promptly ignore the comment. "Itachi will be getting laid tonight." Naruto made a noise of complaint.

"It's not fair," he grumbled; pouting. "…You got sex, Sakura's probably having sex. Suigetsu…well, maybe…Sasuke, you could've _totally_ been having sex; even Neji and Gaara are pashing in the corner…" He slumped down onto the bar, "And here I am; drinking with the bastard who could have any girl he wants yet stays single."

"Yeah, funny that," Deidara commented dryly.

"Neji and Gaara?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Naruto jerked a thumb in the direction of the booths, where it was apparent that the brunette and Gaara were vigorously sucking face.

" –Well…I've seen dozens of settling couples leaving tonight," the raven commented, "…So you've done a good thing."

"Yeah," Naruto murmured with a small smile, "I guess so. As long as other people ended up happy, I guess I'm good too." He made a queasy noise, "…But maybe I shouldn't have drank so much."

The door suddenly opened, and the three of them looked around and were surprised to see Suigetsu making an appearance with a pretty redhead hanging off his arm. He waved to them and made a beeline for the bar.

"Hey; what're you doing here?" Naruto inquired flatly, "…Hey Karin; how's the date?"

"Kinda funny; cute enough to sleep with once I've had a few more drinks," she shrugged disinterestedly, "…Beats going home alone."

" –Settling is what I aim for," Suigetsu shrugged with a smirk, "Yo, Dei; impressive hickeys –and…_holy shit, is that Itachi dry humping Kisame_?"

"Hidan's fault," Naruto pointed at Deidara's neck, "…Deidara's fault." His finger gestured in the direction of Kisame and Itachi's impassioned making out. Suigetsu made a face as if to say, 'not bad' and helped himself to one of the bottles of tequila.

" –Well, Karin says she's not drunk enough to sleep with me yet, so…we're having drinks," he informed them. "How many drinks you think you'll need?"

"Just bring the bottle," Karin hollered back from where she had procured a table for the pair of them. Suigetsu grinned at his co-workers.

"She digs me," he chuckled, "Just doesn't want to admit it."

"That does sound like Karin," Naruto admitted with a sigh and a hiccup. "Oh, I love this song!" He staggered around from the bar and clambered over to join the person who was about to start drunken singing.

"…_When I was young…I never needed anyone_…" he sang.

" –Oh god…" Sasuke groaned as the entire bar burst out into an emotional rendition of Celine Dion's 'All By Myself'. "Not this song…" He could practically feel the single women begin tearing up.

"Would Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' be more to your taste, yeah?" Deidara remarked with a smirk.

"Don't you fucking dare."

"I'm doing it. I'm requesting it. This is happening, yeah."

"_Don't wanna be…all by myseeeeelf…anymore…_" Naruto sang; his words slurring slightly; much to the amusement of the raven. Deidara made an irritated noise under his breath and glanced over to where Itachi and Kisame were still going at it; shirts hanging open and hands trailing across each other now.

"...Sasuke…could you maybe give me a hand, yeah?" the blonde inquired in annoyance, "…It seems that our boss is horny, and our co-workers are drunk or getting there."

"…I'm getting there too," Sasuke assured him flatly, but moved to the other side of the bar to give him a hand with the serving of drinks and the supplying of tissues to tear-stained maidens.

* * *

It was about half past midnight when Itachi re-approached the bar; Deidara, Naruto and Sasuke all looking at him rather smugly as he re-buttoned his shirt and tried to smooth his hair back. He was breathing heavily and his cheeks were flushed, and a tipsy Naruto was most amused to see that he had hickeys on his throat.

"…You and Dei should make a club," he chuckled; earning a dark glare from his boss.

" –Go on, Itachi," Deidara waved him away from the bar smugly, "We can handle it, yeah. It's about time it was your turn to sneak off early to have sex, yeah."

"We are not –" Itachi was about to deny, but then decided that his energy was going to be needed elsewhere. "…Goodnight." On that note, he turned and began stalking off towards the door, where Kisame was waiting for him; already having collected his things.

"Fuck him til he can't walk, Kisame!" Suigetsu hollered obnoxiously from his table.

"I intend to," the bouncer chuckled with a wink as Itachi glared at the both of them and tried to storm out with as much of his dignity in tact as possible.

"…I'll handle closing," Deidara commented with a sigh, elbowing Naruto and rolling his eyes, "Sasuke, take him home, yeah –he's gonna start crying if they play _that song_ again…"

"You sure?"

"I'll be fine," the blonde grumbled flatly; nodding to the karaoke stand where Suigetsu and Karin appeared to be having a very good time. "He's not going anywhere soon, yeah." Sasuke sighed and looked at Naruto; who was fully conscious but stumbling a little and singing under his breath. "It's only another two hours or something, yeah." Sasuke shrugged and sighed, grabbing his jacket and wishing Deidara luck.

"Come on, Naruto," he muttered, grabbing the blonde by the elbow and beginning to manoeuvre him towards the door.

"And don't you fucking drive, yeah!" Deidara hollered, before adding crossly, "Jeez, what am I, your bloody mother…"

* * *

It didn't take long for Sasuke to hail down a cab; Naruto dozing on his shoulder on the ride home to Sasuke's apartment. Getting him up the stairs was too much of a mission, so they took the elevator, Naruto clinging to Sasuke's arm for support, and not liking the moving world all that much.

"Water for you," Sasuke sighed as they entered the apartment and Naruto promptly flopped down on the couch in relief. He drank the water he was given obediently, and Sasuke was relieved when he appeared to have fallen asleep there.

Heading to his room, he let out a low breath. Well…another Valentine's Day over, and still, nothing had changed. It was frustrating, yes, dealing with Naruto's obsession with love, when he was literally the only person in the world that couldn't tell how Sasuke felt about him, but the Uchiha didn't mind.

Naruto had been one of his first real friends, and he didn't want to push that; didn't want to end up scaring him off or pushing him away. Even if everyone seemed to think that Sasuke's feelings were reciprocated, Naruto had to come to terms with that off his own accord. He preached that love was love, regardless of gender, but Sasuke didn't know if he'd ever thought that that could apply to himself.

He was about to turn his light off when he heard noise from behind him. While he had been lost in thought, Naruto had snuck in and was lying on his bed.

"…Couch, idiot," Sasuke grumbled flatly; dimming the lights until he managed to get the moron under control.

"No," Naruto shook his head. Sasuke planted his hands on his hips and quirked an eyebrow; sighing when he saw that the blonde was already slipping under the covers.

"Fine," he muttered; shaking his head and heading back to the light switch.

"No; I want the lights on." He'd forgotten how annoying Naruto could be after he'd been drinking. "Darkness is lonely." Sasuke ignored him and clambered into bed; looking up at the roof for a long moment before feeling eyes on him. Looking over, he saw that Naruto was lying on his back; facing him; bright blue eyes inquisitive.

"You know what I don't like about Valentine's Day?" he commented quietly.

"Mmm?" Sasuke replied; looking up at the roof and feeling Naruto scoot closer.

" –If you don't have someone, it makes you feel lonelier than any other day," he muttered. Sasuke made a noise that indicated that he understood. "…But Sasuke?"

"Mmm?"

"…When you're around, I never feel lonely. Even on Valentine's Day." Sasuke chuckled under his breath. Stupid, drunk idiot.

"Don't say stuff like that," he sighed heavily; closing his eyes and suddenly feeling a weight on him. He automatically took a deep breath, and contentedly breathed in Naruto's scent as the blonde embraced him warmly.

"Sasuke…you don't smell like perfume…" Naruto mumbled in confusion.

"Should I?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow; pushing the blonde away from him and swatting him with a pillow.

"Well yeah; girls wear perfume, and you went on a date with one?" Naruto reminded him.

"She wasn't wearing perfume," he deadpanned, and was immediately whacked in the face with a pillow. "Naruto, we are _not_ having a pillow-fight."

"…You're just saying that because you're _losing_." Of course, that meant Sasuke had to toss his closest pillow at the blonde in irritation; laughing a little as Naruto lost his balance and almost fell off the bed. Only the raven's quick reflexes allowed him to grab his hand in time and drag him back into sitting position against the headboard. Naruto laughed and leaned his head on Sasuke's bare shoulder.

"You should laugh more," the blonde snorted, "You'd have a girlfriend in no time."

"…Who says I want that?" Sasuke mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why wouldn't you want a girlfriend?" Naruto inquired curiously; nuzzling his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck; lips grazing the raven's pale skin. "...You have someone you can spent time with, and spoil, and hug and make plans with, and stuff..."

"…Quit that," he growled; trying to bat away the blonde's face.

"Quit what?" Naruto teased; repeating the action; his lips touching Sasuke's skin once more. The raven turned his head in irritation to tell him to quit it, but found that in that motion, Naruto had tipped his face up to gleefully observe his reaction.

Their lips were touching. Eyes wide, Sasuke pulled back slightly.

Naruto frowned to himself; his heart beginning to race for some reason. Their lips had brushed only slightly, but it hadn't felt unpleasant at all. On impulse, he leaned up again and pressed his lips gently against Sasuke's and then pulled away.

"Naruto, stop," Sasuke whispered, closing his eyes tightly in the hopes that Naruto wouldn't test his self-control any more. Like usual, the blonde didn't listen, but this time, his lips connected with the soft skin at the corner of the Uchiha's lips. Another chaste kiss was placed against his chin.

"…Naruto…" Sasuke breathed, feeling lips press against his again. He pressed back; ever so slightly, just to show that he wasn't pulling away. Naruto gasped at the sensation of such a light, returned gesture and kissed him again; a little harder this time.

"…Don't. Naruto…stop…" Sasuke murmured as a soft warning, but found himself kissing back nonetheless. His self-restraint began to dissolve as a pale hand moved up to cup the blonde's cheek; head angling to deepen their kiss. Naruto kissed back slowly; tentatively, even, but he wasn't resisting.

Reluctantly, Sasuke tore away; placing a fist gently against Naruto's chest; their foreheads touching.

"…Don't do this to me, Naruto," he whispered hoarsely, swallowing the lump that had risen in his throat.

"…Don't stop…" came the soft whisper back. Black eyes looked up and saw that Naruto's were looking up into his. He didn't understand the look, but being this close to him was too much.

Sasuke leaned in again; their lips meeting once more; the raven's hand trailing around to the back of Naruto's neck to draw him in closer. As he worked the blonde's lips apart, their tongues met just briefly; Naruto's hands softly trailing down Sasuke's chest.

Slowly; giving him all the time in the world to protest, Sasuke lowered Naruto onto his back; hovering over him; their bodies only centimetres apart. Naruto was practically gasping for air, but suffocating had never felt so good. Sasuke's lips on his were sending a current of electricity through his entire body; raw and exciting. Their tongues clashed in the kiss; deep and sensual. He'd never been kissed like this…never with so much…

He couldn't explain it.

"…Naruto…" Sasuke murmured in his ear as he trailed soft kisses down his throat and nibbled at his pulse seductively. Had his name always sounded so good said in Sasuke's voice? His breath hitched; body arching up and grazing Sasuke's lightly. The reaction to his neck being kissed in such a way made his arms reach up and latch onto the raven's back; pulling him close.

…Did Sasuke just moan?

If he had, it was a sound Naruto wanted to hear so much more of. He pressed his body up against the raven's again; receiving a harsh kiss against his throat in response.

Naruto's reactions were maddening, Sasuke realised weakly as he felt their bodies connect. He slid an arm around the blonde; desperately wanting to hold him after so long. The action caused their hips to graze one another and he closed his eyes; praying this wasn't a dream. Rising from the blonde's collarbone, he kissed him again; savouring the trusting, intimate way Naruto kissed him back.

"…H-Hot…" Naruto managed to stammer between breaths, "…Too hot…" Sasuke, confused, pulled back slightly; taking a sharp intake of breath as their hips pressed against each other whilst Naruto removed his shirt. For a moment there, they just stared at one another again, before simultaneously leaning in to meld their lips together.

Sasuke could have held Naruto like this all night –not that he would ever admit it –but his male body; desiring the blonde, as it had done for years, was reacting all-too eagerly now that the object of his dreams was beneath him.

Unable to stop himself, Sasuke found his hips rolling up against Naruto's lustily; the friction only serving to arouse him even more. Ashamed at his lack of self-restraint, he buried his face in the blonde's neck and let out a low, aroused moan.

"…Ahn…" a soft gasp escaped Naruto's parted lips as he felt both the vibrations of a moan against his throat and the pressure of a growing erection against his hips. Further aroused by this erotic sound, Sasuke repeated the action; slower and a little harder.

"…Na-ru-to…" he whispered in a husky tone; feeling the blonde's breath hitch and nails dig into his back. Naruto mimicked the motion of Sasuke's hips; satisfied to hear the Uchiha let out another moan.

Lips nibbling and sucking trails up Naruto's neck, Sasuke couldn't believe that this was happening. Naruto was lying beneath him; their chests pressed together; grinding into each other like there was no tomorrow. He'd longed to hold him like this for so long.

He moaned Naruto's name again; loving the way tanned arms gripped his back with need.

"Sa-Sasuke…" the blonde moaned; and he nuzzled up against the neck laid out before him before responding with a low, "Mmm?"

"…Kiss me again."

All too eager to comply; he brought his lips crashing down upon Naruto's, the blonde's swollen lips parting to let his tongue delve in. This was too much. Sasuke's hips began rolling against the other's more vigorously now; highly aroused by the faces and the noises Naruto was making, and the way he was quivering beneath him.

As they broke apart again, Naruto peered down between them and his eyes widened a little as he noticed the bulge growing in Sasuke's pants.

"…Sorry…" Sasuke murmured softly; kissing the corner of his lips and making to pull back.

"No…It's…me too…" Naruto whispered; dragging him back down for another kiss. A little…surprised…Sasuke trailed his hands down the blonde's bare chest; thumbs ghosting over his sensitive nipples and feeling them harden beneath his touch. One of his hands continued southwards, slowly undoing the blonde's jeans and then his own; their clothed arousals pressing together. Naruto let out a soft hiss of pleasure, so Sasuke decided that he could maybe push his luck.

In one swift movement, he had dragged their erections free of their confinement, and pressed them together; letting out a deep moan into Naruto's mouth. Feeling a foreign hand on his arousal, Naruto's hand immediately shot down to grab at it. His fingers connected with Sasuke's and he felt the familiar throb of his own cock, but also of one that wasn't his own. Unsure, he let Sasuke guide their hands along the length of their erections; bucking his hips up into their hands; breath shaking from the unfamiliar sensation.

If Naruto had thought his heart was racing before, then now it felt as though it was going to burst right out of its chest as he and Sasuke stroked their arousals together. The heat was unbearable; unbearably good, that was.

"...Mmm...Ahh..." he was a little embarrassed by the gasps escaping his lips, but as he looked up into Sasuke's eyes, that fading into a strange longing that he didn't quite understand. If he'd felt like he was suffocating before...now he felt as though he was drowning.

Their hips roughly ground together; the heat from each other in sharp contrast with the air of Sasuke's bedroom. Sasuke's hand picked up speed; the friction sending bolts of fire straight to Naruto's gut.

Clothes were tossed haphazardly across the room and Naruto found that he was unable to take his eyes off Sasuke. The raven was kissing hot, passionate trails down his chest as a lube-coated finger pressed up inside him. His breath caught in his throat at the unusual sensation, but he didn't resist. Sasuke's hands on him had caused his body to flood with heat unlike what he'd ever felt before, and he couldn't get enough of it.

The intrusion inside him increased in size and he cringed as it became slightly painful. Sasuke looked up; concern in his eyes, but Naruto found himself nodding for him to continue. Pale fingers dipped deeper into his tight heat; slicking up his entrance and speeding up their thrusts. Suddenly, Naruto's back arched with a shocked moan and the raven smirked to himself, rubbing his fingers in the same spot and eliciting the same reaction.

"…Oh…god…" Naruto breathed, hips automatically grinding back against Sasuke's hand; seeking to feel that pleasure again. Adding a third finger, the raven indulged him; slamming his fingers up into his prostate to accompany the pain of being stretched with a wave of pleasure. Naruto's hand was wrapped around his own, aching cock; Sasuke's name breaking free of his lips over and over. He didn't know what was happening; just that it felt _good _and he wanted Sasuke closer to him.

"…More…" he moaned. "Sasuke…" Dark eyes widened in astonishment. Was Naruto really…? He looked up into glazed blue eyes and saw the blonde's entire body twitch with arousal. He withdrew his fingers, and tentatively pressed the hot head of his erection against his slick entrance; reminding him exactly what 'more' was going to mean. He gritted his teeth at the feeling of Naruto's entrance clenching against the tip of his cock, but looked up to see his friend's reaction.

Instead of answering, Naruto just leaned up and pressed an open-mouth kiss against his lips; gripping Sasuke's hair tightly. He understood.

"…Do you want me to use a…" he began to ask in a low voice, but felt a soft shake in response. Again, understanding, he reached over for some more lube and slicked up his arousal; closing his eyes in disbelief as he slowly pushed the head of his cock into Naruto. Panting heavily, he waited, but felt the blonde shift beneath him insistently.

It was…uncomfortable, at best, Naruto admitted to himself. But Deidara's words from earlier were running through his mind. _The way he'd move deep inside you…_ Deidara had been talking about Kisame and Itachi, but Naruto had become distracted by his words, and had blushed when he'd found himself unwittingly imagining himself with Sasuke.

_Bet you'd want him spreading you open…_

That was exactly what Naruto wanted Sasuke to do. His breathing laboured, he looked up and found that Sasuke was watching him with _that look_ on his face; the look that Naruto kept seeing everywhere –the look that he had seen on his own face in those photos.

The feeling of skin against his told him that Sasuke was completely encased inside him. He fidgeted in discomfort, gripping the sheets tightly as he spread his legs wider. He felt full; too full, but he didn't mind. This was _Sasuke_ inside him, and he let out a soft moan as he felt the raven's cock throb agreeably as he struggled to relax. It _felt_ like he fit perfectly. Like this was right.

Sasuke let out a short breath; kissing Naruto deeply and grinding his hips up into him; reaching deep and making the blonde gasp. He repeated the action; just holding Naruto in his arms for now and just _feeling_ him; the heat encasing him clenching deliciously as the tight walls adjusted.

But then desire and need began to take over, and he drew his hips back further, thrusting into him harder, time and time again. His hands left Naruto's body to fist the sheets harshly as he began slamming into him; searching again for his prostate.

Nails raked down his back as Naruto arched up against him with a hoarse cry of Sasuke's name; flesh slapping together loudly. Sasuke gritted his teeth, possessively leaned down to suck harshly at the blonde's throat.

"…Say my name…" he growled predatorily, and heard a keening, "Sasuke…" in response.

The bed was shaking; Sasuke's hips driving into the blonde without restraint. Years, he had waited for this moment, and now that Naruto was here; on his bed, taking him deep inside him…he couldn't control himself. Naruto was moaning and writhing beneath him; his body shaking with pleasure every time Sasuke slammed into him. His clenching inner walls were driving the raven wild; needing to drive deeper into him.

Grabbing handfuls of the blondes' tanned ass, he spread him open further; moaning at how tight he was. Naruto felt the grip on him and let out an aroused cry. This is what he wanted. This is what he'd been embarrassingly imagining as Deidara spoke. He could feel Sasuke's thick erection pulsing; hot and heavy as it spread his inner walls; the blunt head spearing against something deep inside him that felt unbearably good. His muscles sucked up Sasuke greedily; hungrily clenching around his cock and protesting as he withdrew.

"Nghh…Sasuke…Faster…" he begged breathlessly; chest rolling up against Sasuke's pale one. His nails dug into the raven's sweat-slicked back; clawing hard enough to leave wounds. The headboard smacked violently against the wall with every thrust; Naruto feeling as though his hips were going to break as Sasuke obliged. With anyone else, he would have felt exposed, but for some reason, because this was Sasuke he was doing with, it was fine.

Each penetration sent a new shock of pleasure through him. It hurt, just a little, but the way the hot object forcing itself into him made him feel was more than enough to outweigh that. Their sweating bodies writhed together; heat spreading with every movement.

The raven groaned; his back stinging as the blonde; needing more, began rolling his hips; needily trying to match his thrusts.

"Ahh…Yesss…move just like that…" Sasuke whispered huskily as he stooped to kiss him sloppily; sweat beading on the blonde's forehead and saliva trailing from between parted lips. "…You feel…so good…"

"…I'm so close…" Naruto moaned into his lips, "…Make me cum…please…" How could Sasuke deny him?

Wrapping one hand around Naruto's heavy, leaking erection, he began stroking it in time with his furiously paced thrusts; hurtling towards release. Their hips barely parted as Sasuke slammed into him fast and deep; abusing his prostate relentlessly. Naruto's body quaked as the heat of desire pooled in his gut at an alarming rate, like a coil that about to snap at any moment. Sasuke's free hand planted fiercely into the bed and their gazes locked; full of lust and something more; their hips connecting almost violently now as they desperately grasped each other. Giving over to lust, Sasuke pounded Naruto into the bed; the air filled with the blonde's cries.

"Naruto…" Sasuke murmured, and then closed his eyes in pleasure as Naruto's body lurched up to meet him; nails digging in and lips parting to cry his name in ecstasy as he came violently across their chests -his body wracked with his orgasm. Unable to hold back any more with the blonde's inner walls clamping wildly around his cock; Sasuke braced himself and slammed into him to reach as deep as possible as he came; coating his insides with his warm release; Naruto letting out a satisfied mewl at the feeling.

Exhausted, and shaking, he pulled out of the blonde; their noses brushing intimately as he toppled to his elbows. Naruto's arms; weak with warmth and euphoria, slid limply down Sasuke's back as the raven leaned in and kissed him gently; biting softly at his lower lip. The blonde kissed back; lazy and tired. Laboriously, Sasuke rolled off him and dragged the sheets up over them as Naruto languidly rolled to nuzzle up against him; his stretched hole twitching mournfully at the loss of the heat of Sasuke's thick cock. He didn't say anything; his eyelids drooping.

Sasuke looked down at the blonde curled up beside him; brushing his sweaty blonde fringe back off his face to press a kiss against his forehead. If ever, there was a time for him to whisper, 'I love you', he knew that this was it. But he wasn't taking the chance that he didn't hear it; not after having kept those words silent for so long.

Contentedly, he fell into an alcohol and Naruto-intoxicated slumber, with the familiar weight and scent of his friend beside him.

And when he finally woke up in the morning, he was alone.

* * *

**Wow. That was long. Phew. Did ****_not_**** expect it to be that long.  
Chur for being patient with me! **

**Well, this is a development that I'm sure everyone's been waiting for. But what happens now? **

**The next chapter shall be the final one. I know, I'm horrible to leave you hanging here...**

**Thank you all once again, for your reviews; they are all muchly appreciated!  
See you next chapter**

**xx K**


	11. Chapter 11

**Welcome to the FINAL chapter of this fic. It wasn't meant to be this long, I swear! I just get caught up in what's going on...and... so here we are. **

**Note:  
If you thought Naruto was as dense as all hell… Just you wait. **

* * *

**Saturday February 15****th**

**Also known as the day Naruto's co-workers got tired of his shit. **

* * *

A quick glance at the clock told Sasuke that it was one pm. He frowned to himself, sitting up and rubbing his head, which wasn't feeling too healthy. A slight hang over. Great. That explained why he'd slept so late. He frowned, looking over to the other side of his bed and blinking in confusion. Where was Naruto? Last night…it had happened, right?

He was assured that it hadn't all be a dream from the way that he could still smell Naruto on the blankets…but since the rest of the bed was cold, he concluded that he'd gotten up some time ago.

That was unusual; Naruto never got up before him.

He kicked off the blankets and dragged on a pair of pants for modesty's sake as he headed to the living room to look for the blonde.

The television was off, and the radio hadn't been touched. The living room was empty, and there was no sound coming from the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Sasuke ran a hand back through his hair as he stared at his empty apartment. Naruto wasn't there.

"Fuck…" he cursed to himself, toppling onto his couch and clutching his face in both hands melodramatically. The TV remote hadn't been touched, and as he pulled himself together, he discovered that there weren't any dishes on the table or in the sink –and Naruto never cleaned up after his meals. He hadn't had breakfast. Upon checking the bathroom, he discovered that the shower hadn't been used either.

Fuck. _Fuck_.

"Fuck," he repeated; finding no other word fitting enough to describe this situation. God, he was an _idiot_. Why hadn't he been able to control himself? Why had he given in? Fuck. He and Naruto had been drunk; at least to some extent…what he must think of him…

Shit. This could ruin fucking everything. One lapse in judgement and his friendship with Naruto could be just…

He debated about calling him, but then thought better of it. If Naruto had chosen to sneak out like some shameful one-night stand, then that was his choice and he had to have a reason. He was going to have to see him at work later anyway.

Sasuke was dragged from his self-loathing by the sound of someone knocking sharply on the door. Groaning, he stalked over and yanked the door open. Deidara was standing there looking rather worse-for-wear; exhausted, with a hand supporting his lower back.

"Hey?" he greeted suspiciously. It wasn't like Deidara to come knocking.

"Hi," the blonde greeted flatly; bags under his eyes. "Good night?"

"…Fine," Sasuke replied in a similar voice.

"…Anything unexpected happen, yeah?" Deidara inquired.

"…That's none of your business," the raven informed him shortly.

"Come off it, Sasuke," he snorted, "I saw Naruto leaving."

"So?" Sasuke scoffed, folding his arms defensively, "He stays here sometimes."

"I know that, yeah," Deidara replied, "But never before with hickeys. And trust me when I say that I know exactly what an 'I took it up the ass last night' limp looks like, yeah."

"I don't –"

"Seriously, Sasuke? You're jumping on the fucking denial train?" he snorted, rolling his eyes, "What happened?"

"…How did he look?" Sasuke inquired, trying to keep his voice devoid of emotion. Deidara winced sympathetically.

"He snuck out?" he exclaimed quietly, "Fuck...What'd you –"

"It was consensual," the raven snapped, averting his eyes.

"Oh so you _did_ fuck him," Deidara commented dryly; earning himself a dark glare from Sasuke. "He looked…Normal."

"Normal?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "Tired, a mess and limping like a bitch but he seemed fine. Frowning a bit; looked a little lost…but no tears or anything, yeah. I was too…_occupied_…" he coughed sheepishly, " –To ask him, yeah." Sasuke rolled his eyes at the implication that Hidan had been involved. "…You okay?"

"Fine," Sasuke snorted irritably. Deidara looked as though he didn't believe a word of it, but accepted that Sasuke didn't particularly want to talk about it, so let him have his privacy.

* * *

It had been raining all morning.

Naruto had been wandering the streets for a few hours now; dragging his feet and cringing with every second step. His clothes were drenched, but that didn't bother him. It helped conceal the fact that he was sweaty and dirty.

For the moment, he was sitting in the park; just watching the rain falling around. A few people had offered him and umbrella, or money for a bus, but he had just shook his head with a small smile. Right now, he kind of just wanted to sit alone in the rain and think.

He'd woken up earlier, and found himself lying peacefully in the arms of his best friend. They were both completely naked, and as he'd shifted, his lower back had burst into pain. It was painfully obvious what had happened –under the influence of alcohol, if his aching head and queasy stomach was anything to go by.

For a moment, Naruto had just laid there with Sasuke's pale arms around him; listening to his quiet breathing and the sound of his heart fluttering gently. He…he'd never woken up like this with him before; never even close to like this, but somehow, it just felt familiar.

Sasuke's scent; the feel of his body; the bed, the surroundings –they were all so recognisable. The only foreign parts of the situation were the fact that they were naked, and the fact that they'd had sex.

And even that didn't seem weird.

The fact that it hadn't been weird was what had made Naruto crawl from Sasuke's arms; dress in his clothes and leave without waking him. Shouldn't it feel awkward? Shouldn't he have woken with a feeling of regret or the phrase 'holy shit, I slept with my friend' running through his head?

He'd had one night stands before –admittedly always with women; and every time there was just something…_off _about waking up next to them. Even women he'd dated for a while, there was a slight feeling of discomfort, or 'was this a good idea' or 'what now?' But this morning…

The only way to put it was to say that it had felt natural.

In those moments as he just lay there, listening to Sasuke sleeping; looking up and seeing the content look on his face –he could easily imagine himself just staying there in an early morning state of dozing. In his mind's eye, he could see the morning running much how it always did. He might hear Sasuke getting up; maybe he would say something, maybe he would leave him to sleep. But when he finally got out of bed, the Uchiha would be making breakfast, or watching television. Naruto would complain about the bran and Sasuke would tell him to be grateful he was getting fed. Absolutely nothing would be different.

Should it be so natural to wake up to a friend like that after accidentally sleeping with them?

And on the topic of sleeping with friends…he wasn't sure what had come over him last night. Sure, these days he was beginning to have strange thoughts about Sasuke, but he'd never thought that would escalate into sex.

He touched his cold lips agitatedly. What was wrong with him? He knew from the touch of his fingers that they were cold, but they felt like they were on fire.

Sighing heavily, he got up and began wandering back in the direction of the print shop. Searching for purpose, he'd dropped into work and found the camera that had been circulating the previous night; hoping to get some pictures printed off to showcase in the bar. They should be done by now.

After collecting the pictures, he headed back to his own apartment and had a long shower, hoping that it would help to clear his thoughts.

It didn't. It just made him think even more; about the way Sasuke kissed; about the way he touched him; about how it felt when he moved inside him. Confused and sore, but at least clean, he settled down to have a look at some of the pictures he'd gotten printed off.

He smiled as he looked at the first one. It was of Neji and Gaara talking at the bar –before they'd started sucking face. They were leaning in close; obviously deep in conversation; but their eyes were settled on each other; a light, playful gaze that made Naruto's heart soar just to see.

Karin and Suigetsu were much the same. Although Karin had her arms folded and looked like she was scolding him, there was a smile in her eyes; something kind of tender, even –that he'd never seen in his cousin's face before. With a small grin, he placed that photo over with the one of Neji and Gaara; those looks were so similar.

The next one he saw was of Itachi polishing a glass and gazing off into the distance. From the angle, Naruto knew that he was looking at Kisame. The haughty glare was much the same as always, except when Itachi looked at Kisame; there was an intensity that wasn't present in any of the other pictures.

He found a few more pictures that he liked the look of; that just at a quick glance, he could tell that the people in them were invested in each other –whether they knew it or not. And then he paused in his search. That photo made him stop; the expression on his face one of confusion and denial.

That look. It was that look again.

* * *

"I had just the _best_ time last night," Sakura was cheerfully commenting to Suigetsu and Deidara as they got the bar ready for opening later that evening, "Sai was really great; I mean, he didn't get my jokes and seemed a little socially awkward…but the sex…" She let out a puff of hot air and beamed at them as Itachi slunk past them towards the kitchen; in visible pain.

" –New pack of aspirin on the bench!" She hollered, "Share with Deidara though!"

"I don't need this from you, Sakura!" Itachi growled back in irritation.

"Oh you do," she called back brightly, "You very _definitely_ do. Dei's told me _all_ about what happened last night!"

"…I was firing him, if I recall…" Itachi grumbled, emerging from the kitchen with a handful of painkillers and a glass of water.

"Was the sex good, yeah?" Deidara inquired cheekily; flinging his boss a sideways glance. Itachi swallowed a painkiller and tugged on his turtleneck for a moment.

"…Very much so," he replied quietly.

"Did you suck his dick?" Suigetsu inquired curiously.

" –Was it big?" Deidara added impishly.

"How many times did you do it?" Sakura asked; wide-eyed.

"I am not answering _any _of your questions," he sniffed hotly.

" –Are you seeing him again?"

"Did he make you breakfast?"

"But seriously, yeah, how many times did he fuck you?"

"Shut it, all of you!" Itachi growled, "Do none of you have any sense of _privacy_?"

"…Shouldn't you be in a good mood if you got laid?"

"Fine! Fine!" Itachi snapped, "What do you want to know? Yes, I sucked his dick; yes, I am seeing and definitely having sex with him again. He made me breakfast; and lunch too, actually. And for the record, his cock is so _huge_ that it nearly tore me in half –and he fucked me raw with it against and on every surface and every item of furniture in my apartment _all night_, after one of my good-for-nothing employees blackmailed me into making out with him. So _excuse me_ if I am sore, and tired and _not_ in a good mood!"

His three employees all exchanged surprised looks; not used to such outbursts from their boss.

"_All night_, Itachi?" Deidara teased, at the same time Sakura inquired, "…So exactly how big?" The three of them simultaneously burst out laughing; Itachi unwillingly joining in with them despite himself. A small smile graced his elegant features; but not before he savagely whipped Deidara's poor, abused ass with his tea towel. The blonde actually made a slightly aroused noise and they stared at him; Sakura sniggering in disbelief as he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Oh, so you like that?" Itachi commented mockingly, "We must remember to mention that to Hidan –" Deidara's eyes widened in horror.

"Now, now, Itachi," Kisame hollered from the doorway as Naruto stumbled in, dragging a drenched umbrella along behind him, "I seem to recall that a certain _someone_ quite enjoyed a good span–"

"Shut up, shut up!" Itachi snapped at him childishly, "Go stand in the rain! This brat has been mocking me for _weeks_ now. Let me have this!"

"…He'll let you have it all right…" Suigetsu and Sakura snickered as Deidara growled, "Hey, who're you calling 'brat'?" Itachi was glaring sharply over at the bouncer with mutinous eyes.

"…Please don't stand like that, Itachi," Sakura begged; helpless with laughter, "It just makes it far too easy to imagine you being spank –" Itachi immediately straightened up; one of his legs collapsing slightly; much to their amusement. Fortunately, he managed to catch himself on time and settled with a dignified limp to the other end of the bar.

"Yo, Naruto," Suigetsu greeted cheerfully as the blonde drew up; limping a little, "How'd your night turn out? You weren't looking too…stable…when Sasuke carried you off in a taxi?" Instead of answering, Naruto just tossed an envelope down on the bar and nodded at it. Sakura raised an eyebrow and opened it, looking through the pictures and nodding approvingly.

"Oh, Suigetsu; you and Karin look so cute!" she crooned teasingly and he flicked his middle finger at her for calling him 'cute'. "Did you go get these printed, Naruto?" He nodded and frowned in annoyance, "What's up?"

" –They all have the same look," he commented flatly. Suigetsu and Deidara looked down in interest as Sakura spread the photos out. Deidara cringed and picked one up.

"God, why'd you bring this in, yeah?" he complained, snatching it away from Suigetsu, "…We look so fucking sappy…" Sakura gave him a scathing look and the blonde unhanded the picture with a heavy sigh; averting his eyes in embarrassment.

"…God you're cute, Deidara," Suigetsu simpered; pulling on his cheek playfully and earning a vicious glare from the blonde. "Well yeah, they all look pretty happy?"

"It's more than that," Naruto insisted, "What's that look?" Sakura just giggled to herself; giving Deidara and Suigetsu a cheeky look. "You know; the way they look at each other –what's so funny?"

"Oh…just because…for someone who preaches about love so much; you sure don't know what it looks like," she chuckled helplessly, and then saw that he was frowning slightly. "…What's…Naruto, what's wrong?"

"…I was hoping you wouldn't say that," he commented quietly; his blue eyes strained as he blurted out, "I had sex with Sasuke last night." He looked up nervously; wondering how they were going to take this information. To his surprise, Sakura's eyes lit up as Deidara simply remarked, "I'll go get the aspirin…"

"That's great!" Sakura exclaimed; beaming –until she saw his startled expression, "…Unless you're not great with it…"

" –Am I the only straight guy who works here?" Suigetsu sighed heavily.

" –I had a one night stand –it doesn't change my sexuality!" Naruto snorted hotly.

"Suigetsu, your sexuality is constantly in question; go away you insensitive jackass," Sakura snapped crossly; pushing him away to the kitchen with Deidara and leaving her alone with Naruto. "Naruto, are you okay? Tell me what happened. Did he hurt you?"

"No, no," he assured her quickly –he didn't want her to get the wrong idea, "…We were drinking last night, and he took me back to his place because I was drunk. We were just having a pillow fight…and then we ended up…_I_ ended up kissing him." He swallowed nervously; looking down as he folded his hands on the bar. "And it just kinda…" Not having the words to equate just how much it had spiralled out of control, he just sighed heavily and let Sakura's imagination do the rest. She gripped his hands reassuringly, and when he looked up, he saw that her eyes were full of concern.

" –So…how do you feel now?" she inquired.

"Confused," he admitted, "But also not. I mean, I woke up today, and it just felt like any other day. It just felt so normal to be waking up with him _like that_…but that freaked me out that it wasn't weird, you know?" Sakura nodded; understanding. "…So I…I just left and…"

"You just left?" she gasped, "Without talking to him?"

" –What was I meant to say?" he grumbled and fell silent for a moment. "_He_ might've found it weird! Why'd I go and do something stupid like that, Sakura?" Her green eyes softened and looked him dead in the eyes. It was time.

"I think you know," she murmured quietly. Naruto's expression became pained and his hands clenched into fists.

"No, I don't!" he exclaimed in frustration, "It's all I've been able to think about all day! At the time, I just…I didn't want to be lonely on Valentine's Day, and whenever I'm with Sasuke, I just, I don't feel lonely; so I…wanted to be close to him."

"…Well, I know people who've slept with people for worse reasons," Sakura admitted with a sigh, "…I'm looking at you, Deidara; piss off!" She returned her attention to Naruto as the kitchen door swung shut again as the blonde was yanked back into the kitchen by his hair by Itachi, who was deciding to respect the conversation. "So, what's the 'but'?"

"The 'but'?"

"…You said 'at the time'," she pointed out, "What do you think now?" He just sighed again; digging around in his pockets and fishing out the contents.

" –I was convinced it was just that; just a drunken…thing," he shrugged, "Spurred on by, I don't know…the way I get around Valentine's Day. But then I saw these." He tossed a handful of photographs onto the bench and watched Sakura expectantly as she sifting through them.

"Oh," she breathed; her eyes softening.

These photos were all of Naruto and Sasuke from the previous night; just drinking together and arguing, like they always did. Their faces, though often scowling or scolding, were full of the kind of affection and adoration that people could look at in the street and be jealous of. There was light in Sasuke's eyes; a kind of devotion that was reflected in the joyful blue eyes of Naruto.

"Have I always looked at him like that?" he inquired quietly.

"…Not always…but for a long time, yes," she replied; placing the photos down in front of him.

"…Why is it Sasuke?" Naruto mumbled, "Why is it always _him_ that I look at like that –"

"Are you _really_ that dense?" Sakura suddenly snapped hotly, and he looked up; completely startled to see that all sympathy was gone from her eyes, "Have you really been _so oblivious_ for all this time? You've got to be kidding me!"

"What are you –"

"Answer my questions with the first name you think of," she growled and he nodded once; actually a little scared of this Sakura. "Who do you spend the most time with?"

"…Sasuke?"

"…Who do you have the most fun with?"

" –Sasuke…"

"Who do you think you know almost better than he knows himself?"

"Well, Sasuke –"

"Who do you fight with _constantly_ but you will _always_ make up with; no matter what?"

"…Sasuke."

"Who do you laugh with, cry with, complain to and are almost abnormally comfortable with?" Sakura demanded to know, "Who makes you meals; whose house do you practically live at? Who constantly gets mistaken for your boyfriend? Who is always on your mind; even if just a little? The memories of _which person _do you treasure above all else? Who did you willingly have gay sex with? Are the answers to all of these, _Sasuke Uchiha?" _

Naruto just stared at her for a moment before shortly nodding his head once. She folded her arms; glaring down at him in exasperation.

"What do you think that _maybe_ means, Naruto Uzumaki?" she sniffed. "Boys; _back to the kitchen; I'm not done yelling_." Again, the door slammed shut as the three men sheepishly slunk back into the kitchen; drawn by the shouting. "What do you think it means that you slept with him?"

" –We're friends!" Naruto snapped, "We're friends, and I was lonely, and he was….doing me a favour?!"

"You don't even believe that!" she growled crossly, "You just said yourself you thought that _until_ you saw the pictures. And come on, Naruto; you're not the kind of person to just sleep with people; even just as friends. You wouldn't have sex with Suigetsu, or Gaara, so do _not_ use that as an excuse! You know exactly what I'm talking about! Those pictures _speak for themselves_ –"

"No!" he denied fiercely, "I can't. I just…I can't...He's my best friend!"

"Moron!" Sakura snapped; cuffing him over the back of the head from the other side of the bar. "Have you seen any romantic comedy _ever_!"

"What does that have to do with anything –"

"OH MY GOD!" Sakura exclaimed; tearing at her head, "How the _hell_ Sasuke managed to deal with you being so freaking dense all this time, I do _not_ know." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he watched her warily.

"How did you feel?" she asked finally. "…When he kissed you." Naruto paused; frowning for a moment and then smiling slightly.

"Happy," he answered truthfully, "I was…no…I can't explain it. My heart started racing, and it just felt…" Unable to utilise words, he settled with gestures –which really didn't help.

"Right?" Sakura offered with a grimace, and, after a pause, he nodded. "Naruto Uzumaki. Answer me again. First name you can think of. Who can always make you smile? When you look into the future; who do you want to stay by? Who can you never see yourself living without?"

Even before she had finished her questions, the name _Sasuke Uchiha_ danced on his lips.

He didn't answer, but just watched as her expression changed again, to a small, sympathetic smile; nodding slightly as though he had just completed a puzzle and was free to step back and examine the bigger picture.

"…I'm in love with him, aren't I?" he murmured quietly; looking down at his hands. Even as he said that, he felt his palms begin to sweat; his heart beating fast. The words felt right. But for some reason…that realisation didn't stun him as much as he'd thought it would. Had he maybe, deep down, known all along that Sasuke was special to him?

"Well of course you are," Sakura grinned brightly; kindly brushing his hair out of his eyes like a mother would to her child.

"What do you mean 'of course you are'?" Naruto exclaimed in shock.

"Oh sweetie," Sakura sighed, "You're transparent." He looked at her weakly, and then over to where Itachi, Deidara and Suigetsu were sticking their heads out from the kitchen door. They all nodded at him with stony expressions.

"What…why –how come…why didn't I realise?" he whispered to himself; resting his head in his hands as though his life was a lie. "…All I wanted was to fall in love; and I just…"

"Well…" Sakura admitted, "…I suppose…you were just trying too hard to find someone. You can't _fall_ in love if you're looking where you're going." She giggled slightly as their co-workers emerged from the kitchen since the apparent danger that they would be yelled at had passed. Naruto picked up one of the photos of he and Sasuke and sighed heavily.

"I just…I just need to check something," he assured Sakura with a small frown, turning towards a woman who had been sitting at a table across the bar. "Excuse me, miss; I presume you heard all of that…" She nodded; apparently a little embarrassed to admit to eavesdropping. "I was wondering…if…you would do me a favour and let me kiss you?"

His co-workers all facepalmed dramatically.

"…He's an _idiot_!" Suigetsu exclaimed.

"What's he doing?" Itachi groaned.

"Um…okay?" the woman replied in confusion. Naruto grinned at her encouragingly, and leaned in to press his lips against hers.

Nothing.

He felt nothing.

With a small frown, he kissed her a little harder; earning a surprised squeak from the young woman. Suddenly, the door was pushed open, and who should choose that precise moment to arrive at work, but Sasuke Uchiha.

"Oh come on," Suigetsu complained; seeing Sasuke just standing in the doorway staring at Naruto passionately kissing some random woman on the mouth. "What is this, a bad romantic comedy?"

"No…this is an excellent one," Sakura grumbled, "This is so cliché. It's even raining outside. How dramatic. Cue the storming out…" The bartenders just watched in _unamusement_ as Naruto, hearing silence and still getting no kind of reaction from this woman, straightened up; rubbing his neck to check his pulse.

…Still even; still steady. His palms were dry; his breathing normal…

And then he turned, and saw Sasuke, and all of that changed.

"Sasuke –I…" he was about to say; about to blurt out an explanation for everything he'd been thinking over the day; but then he saw the anger, and the hurt…and the confusion in the Uchiha's face. And then he realised what the situation must look like. "No! I swear; it's not what it looks like! I can explain –"

Wordlessly, Sasuke turned walked straight back out the door; the door slamming shut behind him. Naruto's shoulders slumped and he tore at his hair angrily; stalking over to the bar dejectedly.

"Why didn't you tell me he was there?" he complained loudly.

"We're allowing this rom-com to follow convention, yeah," Deidara informed him flatly. Naruto groaned and clutched his hair as he slumped onto the counter.

" –You do know that this is about when you're meant to go after him, right?" Sakura deadpanned.

"Why?" Naruto grumbled crossly, "_Why_ do I have to go after him? Saying anything to him would probably just jeopardize our friendship…and I don't want that to happen."

"Moron! That's exactly why he –" Sakura exclaimed in exasperation before flinging her hands in the air and taking a step back, "I give up; he is _literally_ too clueless to talk to. I'm tapping out. Itachi, tag; you're it." Itachi sighed heavily and leaned forwards.

"…What makes you think saying something to him would jeopardize your friendship?" he inquired in a bored tone.

"Well…" Naruto mumbled, "He's always got women chasing after him, and I wouldn't want to make things weird –"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Itachi interrupted, "That has nothing to do with anything. He has already slept with you. How could it possibly get weirder if you say you liked it? And seriously, when have you _ever_ seen my little brother actually enjoy the company of a woman?"

"Never, yeah," Deidara answered for him.

" –Hey, thanks," Sakura scowled.

"You don't count," Itachi scoffed, "You're more of a man than Deidara sometimes." Deidara glared at him.

"Well…I guess he doesn't have many girlfriends…" Naruto admitted with a slight shrug.

"Any," Itachi corrected forcefully, "None. He does not have girlfriends. He doesn't like dating women."

"But he had a date last night," Naruto argued.

"No he didn't," he co-workers scoffed.

"He did too!" he sniffed, "I'll admit I got suspicious because he didn't smell like perfume, but he said she wasn't wearing any –and he said it just didn't work out…"

"Bullshit," Sakura snorted, "A woman doesn't go on a date without some kind of perfume. He never has dates on Valentine's! Never. Not since high school!"

"He goes on a date every Valentine's," Naruto protested, and it was Itachi's turn to grip his bangs in exasperation and defeat.

"No he doesn't!" Itachi exclaimed, "He _says_ he does, and then he comes here. Every year. _Every year_." Naruto looked at them incredulously; wondering what his initial point was and how they had ended up here.

"…I don't get what I'm meant to do," he admitted morosely, "Why do I even have to say something? Things were good how they were before, right?"

"THEY MOST CERTAINLY WERE NOT," his co-workers snapped at him aggressively and he recoiled at the force of their simultaneous squawk. He stared at them in astonishment.

"What are you waiting for?" Itachi growled crossly; gesturing at the door.

"…I'm a little…_rusty_ on the confession speech thing!" Naruto snapped in embarrassment, "I haven't done that sort of thing since high school…" he looked at Sakura sheepishly.

" –Hmm…and it wasn't that great," she admitted dryly.

"…And I mean…what happens…if it's not reciprocated?" he demanded to know, "I mean, we slept together, but sex doesn't always equal –"

"_OH MY GOD, COME ON_!" They all crowed; literally tearing at their hair.

" –Naruto Uzumaki; you run out into the rain, and find my little brother, and confess your undying love to him, or I swear to _god_, I will!" Itachi snapped, and they all looked at him sceptically at his poor phrasing.

" –I'm open to your kinks, Itachi, but I think that's probably crossing a line," Kisame hollered from the doorway.

"You know what I meant!"

" –But he just stormed out," Naruto mumbled; looking over at the door, "…He didn't even stick around to let me explain or anything…he's probably halfway home. Why would he listen to me…"

"Okay, since you're dense, yeah," Deidara commented; stepping forwards, "I'm going to put this very, very simply. Are listening, yeah?" Naruto nodded. "Sasuke is _gay_." When it appeared that the cogs of Naruto's brain weren't completely functional, he added, "As in…he likes _men_. _Specifically, _a tanned, blonde, blue-eyed man…(that isn't me). And he has liked him for a _substantial_ period of time during which, _said blonde, blue-eyed man_, was _completely_ oblivious; much to the…_frustration…_of _every_ person around him, yeah?"

Naruto's brain was apparently flat-lining.

"You go for a run in the rain and plan your confession speech," Sakura remarked from between gritted teeth.

"But I –"

"_It was not a suggestion, Naruto_."

"Okay; I'm going! Please don't yell at me again!" And with that, finally, Naruto began heading towards the door.

"…Sasuke's going to kill us," Suigetsu commented flatly in a low tone.

"Oh yeah," Deidara muttered at the same time Itachi admitted, "Definitely."

"Well if he didn't want us to say anything, then he shouldn't have slept with Naruto and got him all confused," Sakura sniffed matter-of-factly.

* * *

Naruto had been out in the rain for about two minutes and he was already soaked as he started jogging in the direction that it looked like Sasuke had been heading in when he stormed out.

Okay, so Deidara had been talking about him; he wasn't _that_ much of a fool –although admittedly, he was stupid. He _was_ a moron. How could the thought that he loved Sasuke never have crossed his mind; not even once? It made so much sense. Everything about the Uchiha was everything he'd ever wanted; everything he'd ever been searching for. It had been right there, and he had been too blindly looking out to see who had been standing beside him this whole time.

_Standing beside him this whole time_.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

The way Sasuke took him out for lunches; let him sleep in his bed; let him wear his clothes; let him pretty much have a drawer for his things; how he just couldn't say no to him…How he'd make him breakfast and they would go places just the two of them; and always get ramen even though Sasuke didn't like it; and people everywhere would think that they were together. Had it really been so painfully obvious? How long had he been unknowingly dating Sasuke Uchiha?

Naruto was so ashamed that he was very close to turning and hitting his face on the nearest street sign. He was a moron.

_Who did Sasuke spend the most time with? Who could make Sasuke have fun? Who did Sasuke know almost better than they knew themselves? Who did Sasuke fight with, but always made up with? Who did Sasuke always turn to; who was he abnormally comfortably with? Who did he make meals for, and tolerated in his home; who constantly got mistaken as his boyfriend? Who had he slept with? _

Those were Sakura's questions. And if Naruto knew Sasuke as well as he thought he did, then if the Uchiha was asked those exact same questions…he knew whose name he would utter.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

Surprised to hear his own name when he'd just been thinking it, Naruto stumbled and very nearly went tumbling into a huge puddle.

"Thank –" he began to say, but the words fell from his mouth as he discovered that the person who had caught him was Sasuke himself.

He was completely drenched as well; hair plastered to his face and his expression one of disinterest. Naruto gathered his balance and coughed awkwardly as he just stood there in the rain; looking up at Sasuke.

"About that woman –"

"She doesn't matter," Sasuke interrupted with a shrug.

"What?" Naruto exclaimed flatly, "You stormed off when you saw me kissing her! How can you say she doesn't matter now?"

"You're here, and not with her aren't you?" he remarked, averting his gaze.

"Well duh," he sniffed, "I had to try to explain! I only kissed her to see…to see if I felt anything." Sasuke didn't respond to that, but Naruto knew he was waiting for something else; an explanation for why he had woken up alone. "And I didn't! And I know that that's because...after last night...and waking up this morning, I realised that the only person that I have ever felt completely comfortable around; completely myself -is you. I woke up...and it felt just so natural to wake up with you. I couldn't see...myself...waking up with anyone else."

"...So you left me to stress out that I had completely destroyed my friendship with you?"

"I didn't think," Naruto muttered, "I thought it was my fault, really. I was the one who kissed you." He averted his eyes guiltily, and scratched his neck awkwardly. Was he really going to do this? Say this? He took a deep breath; no more words having sprung to mind except for, well, the important ones.

"Sasuke, I'm in love you," he murmured breathlessly, before clamping his eyes and mouth shut to await his reaction.

"Tch," the raven scoffed, rolling his eyes, "I know that."

"…I can't believe I was so –wait, what?" Naruto stammered in disbelief. That was _not_ the reaction he'd been expecting, "How can you say you knew? _I_ didn't even know!"

"_I'm_ not a moron," Sasuke replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Did _everyone_ apart from me, know that I was in love with you?" he exclaimed in disbelief. Sasuke nodded dryly. "Gaara? Kiba?" Sasuke nodded again. "…My parents?" _Nod._ "_Your_ parents?"

"My parents _told_ your parents." Naruto clapped his hands to his drenched face melodramatically. This was humiliating!

"Why did no one tell me!" he wailed.

"You can't hurry love," Sasuke snorted, "Or some shit like that."

"…Why'd you keep me around then?" he sulked, "If I was such a moron that put the 'hopeless' into 'hopelessly in love'?" Sasuke chuckled to himself. Suddenly, Naruto felt himself dragged close to a cold, wet body; a hand gripping his cheek.

"…Because I knew you loved me back."

And then, all of a sudden, warmth was flooding through Naruto as Sasuke leaned in and kissed him deeply; arms pulling him in possessively. Naruto felt his heart thudding almost painfully in his chest as he kissed back; finally knowing what this heat was. Kissing that woman; it had been nothing –a way to prove that he felt nothing. With Sasuke, as their lips and tongues connected, he couldn't explain the way he made him feel. But he could imagine kissing him like this forever.

After a moment, Naruto pulled back; eyes offended as Sasuke refused to let him pull away.

"…You love me too…" he muttered; already having realised that but still mulling over the idea. Sasuke nodded shortly, his eyes softening. "Did everyone know _that_ as well?"

"Naruto; people we didn't even know, knew that," Sasuke murmured, "…Why do you think we always got mistaken for a couple?" He hadn't really thought about that before, "You've had your movie kiss in the rain; can we go inside now?"

"_Hardly_ a movie kiss!" Naruto growled as the raven laced their fingers together and began dragging him back towards Club Akatsuki. "There was meant to be a big speech and then an apology and 'I was an idiot' and…you ruined it because you already knew what I was going to say!" Sasuke just smirked at him. "Don't look so pleased with yourself! I take it back! I don't love you. You're a bastard; you know that?" Another snigger. "No, I am _not_ lying through my teeth!"

Just before they were close enough to the bar, Sasuke stopped walking, and turned to look at the sulking blonde. For someone who had, in the last twenty four hours, slept with his best friend, figured out that he was in love with his best friend and that discovered that said best friend was also in love with him –he was awfully pouty.

"What do you want me to say, Naruto?" he murmured quietly; not looking him in the eye, "…That I've loved you since high school? That it hurt every time you were off with some girl instead of with me?"

"Sasuke…"

"I needed to be around you _because_ I loved you," he muttered in a low tone, "No one ever told you because I didn't want to risk losing you if you weren't ready to hear it. You might be a moron, but you're _my_ moron –and I wanted to keep it that way." He looked suitably embarrassed and Naruto's expression softened.

"That's better," he sniffed, pressing a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth, "But I'm the one that chased after you in the rain. _I_ have to do the speech." Sasuke rolled his eyes as if to say, '_If you must.'_ Naruto took a deep breath and just let the words roll.

"You are my best friend and tonight our friends made me finally realise that you are the person I've been looking for this whole time," he ranted, "You are everything I was ever trying to find. And you make me feel things that are too cheesy to say…And I'm sorry that it took me so long to realise what I was feeling was actually love…and you shouldn't have waited around for me…"

"You're _so_ bad at this," Sasuke cringed, rolling his eyes and giving the blonde a smirk that he knew meant that anything he ever wanted to say, Sasuke already knew –and had known long before he, himself had known it. "And don't apologise, idiot. You know when it's right, right?"

"Is Sasuke Uchiha a closet romantic?" Naruto teased, "Or…maybe not-so-closet…"

"…Like that joke hasn't been made before," Sasuke muttered mutinously.

Upon re-entering their work, they noticed that their co-workers immediately began looking thoroughly engrossed in whatever they were doing.

"…You can stop pretending to work now," Sasuke deadpanned; unimpressed.

"Phew," Sakura admitted; pushing away the glass she had been inspecting like it was the most interesting object she'd ever seen, "How'd it go? Are we good? Can we all stop tiptoeing and change our passive-aggressive comments to outright insults?"

"Must you?" Sasuke grumbled; wringing out his hair.

"Oh yes, we must," she assured him flatly, "Payment for keeping your secret."

" –You did _so well_ at that," he muttered.

" –I take it this means we can start openly mocking Naruto for not getting six years of hints?" Suigetsu remarked conversationally; setting up celebratory drinks for them all.

"_Six years_?" Naruto exclaimed in shock.

"…I _did_ tell you it was since high school."

"Yeah, but _six years_ sounds like a long time…"

" –Like how he didn't realise that Sasuke spent the day with him every Valentine's, yeah?" Deidara offered innocently; giving the Uchiha a wicked grin. Naruto's brow furrowed and his eyes widened in astonishment as he counted back the years and realised that each time, he had automatically ended up spending the day with Sasuke; without even noticing! Last year it had been ramen for lunch, and the fair in the afternoon…the year before it had been ramen followed by a trip to the zoo…

"Or how hilarious –yet painful –it was to see them pretending to be gay lovers on occasion," Sakura added. Naruto blushed at the memory of their most recent Strippers and Hoes party and cringed guiltily.

"…Or about how we all secretly sabotaged Naruto when he tried to get dates…" Suigetsu commented casually, and they all glared at him. "…Oh, was I not supposed to say that?"

"You all _sabotaged_ me?" Naruto exclaimed hotly and his jaw dropped open as he rounded on Sasuke, "Is _that_ why Tenten lied and said she had plans with Neji? Did you arrange that?"

"Is it so wrong to not want you with anyone else?"

"Possessive bastard! If you weren't going to confess, you could've at least let me date other people!" he snapped back.

"Why? You were already in love with me."

" –Yeah? Well, you could've let me date other people until I figured that out!"

"…Naruto, we literally had to intervene for you to figure it out," Sakura deadpanned.

"They sure don't seem like a couple that just confessed their love for each other," Suigetsu commented dryly as Sasuke and Naruto resumed being _Sasuke and Naruto_ and began arguing all over again. "Hell, Naruto thought he was straight until yesterday."

" –They were already in a relationship," Itachi reminded him flatly. "…It just wasn't official. And one of them didn't know..."

Naruto heard what Suigetsu said, and smiled to himself as the six of them shared a drink; Kisame wandering over to join them. He looked up at the pictures of the pairs that were now stuck to the wall behind the bar. They'd been flung together, and had made it work…

"By the way…you do understand what that key actually means, right?" Naruto's eyes widened as he fished into the pocket of Sasuke's pants that he was wearing and pulled out the key to his apartment that he'd been giving the day before. Did that mean? The glint in the raven's eye told him that he was correct.

He and Sasuke? Nothing really needed to change between them. Except maybe now the bastard would buy something other than gross bran cereals, and they could have more of that sex…After all, what did an "I Love You" change, when their relationship had been special to both of them for so long? No wonder it had felt natural waking up in Sasuke's arms. As for his sexuality…

He liked to think that everyone had a soul mate; someone who knew them and completed them. But souls didn't have genders. The body it was in was irrelevant. As Sasuke looked at him with that _look_; the look that Naruto had for so long missed and misunderstood, he wondered to himself if maybe Sasuke was his soul mate?

Sasuke and Naruto joined the other bartenders on the other side of the bar; Itachi even gracing Kisame with a brief, grudging kiss before sending him back to the door.

"…Painkillers, now, Sakura," Itachi grumbled weakly; clutching at his lower back.

" –We're going to need a constant supply, aren't we?" she remarked dryly; looking from Itachi, to Deidara, to Naruto. Itachi and Deidara glared at her, while Naruto just settled with looking rather embarrassed. "Oh come on; you can't be _that_ sore, right?" she added as Naruto and Sasuke headed over to get a spare change of clothes since they were drenched from the rain.

"…Sakura…you are _not_ in a position to make that call, yeah," Deidara grumbled aggressively and she just skipped away cheerfully to get the aspirin for them. Limping, he headed over to start arranging glasses. It was going to be a very painful evening.

"Suigetsu; Sasuke; since you guys haven't had dicks up your asses in the last twenty-four hours; you're gonna have to support these guys," Sakura laughed heartily.

" –There has _never_ been a dick up my ass," Suigetsu assured her crudely, yawning as he went over to inspect the club. There were probably two people in the bar at the moment, but since it was a Saturday night, that was probably going to change pretty soon. "Sakura, looks like you're going to be getting all the numbers tonight!"

"I know, right?" she grinned, and was very much aware of Deidara's mutinous glare.

"What do you say, bastard?" Naruto commented smugly; re-emerging from the kitchen; having changed at lightning speed, "Bet I can get more numbers than you." Suddenly, Sasuke yanked him close by his hips and leaned in; his breath hot against Naruto's ear.

"…You accept any woman's number…and I might just have to take you right here, in front of them," he purred possessively, and Naruto paled.

"Uhh…guys….I think I'm in over my head!" he hollered weakly. Sakura just waved him away dismissively. "What about _guy's_ numbers?" he added cheekily. In response, Sasuke just tugged on the top of button of the shirt Naruto was wearing (one of Sasuke's), and yanked it so that the first three buttons came undone.

Naruto immediately flushed up to his ears as Sakura and Suigetsu –who were really the only ones in any position to judge –noticed the hickeys marring his throat. Sasuke ran a hand down his neck smugly; leaning in to sensually suck at one of them. Naruto's breath hitched as he gripped Sasuke's shirt tightly.

"Oh come on," Itachi and Deidara rolled their eyes dramatically as Sasuke pulled back and kissed Naruto passionately; the blonde instantly kissing back; already addicted to his lips.

" –Itachi; you have no right to be complaining about PDA," Suigetsu sighed heavily, "…And Deidara, I'm pretty sure all of us have caught you actually having sex."

"Nah, I just caught him giving a guy a blowjob out back," Sakura corrected, before swatting both Deidara and Itachi with her tea towel, "…And play nice. Sasuke's been waiting years to be able to do that in public!" She looked over at her two old friends fondly and let out a contented sigh. They really were ridiculous sometimes. Most people, after a love confession, would maybe acting awkwardly? Maybe tiptoeing around each other for a little while, while they adjusted to the situation.

Not Naruto and Sasuke. They would always argue; hell, they'd probably started arguing again minutes after their confessions. But, no matter how much they argued, they'd always love each other; and everyone would always be able to tell. Especially now.

With a low chuckle, Sakura added to Deidara in a low voice, "…So, you think he'll actually do Naruto at the bar if I pretend that he accepted a girl's number?" He looked at her with a quirked eyebrow.

"…Only one way to find out, yeah," Deidara smirked back.

"…This place is going to be a fucking nightmare…" Itachi grumbled under his breath.

"_Fucking_ nightmare is right," Suigetsu mocked; earning himself a cuff over the back of the head by his annoyed, and sore boss.

Naruto chuckled to himself as he pulled back from Sasuke with a last kiss; averting his eyes sheepishly. The Uchiha dropped his arms and rolled his shoulders; instantly professional.

"Oh," he added, almost as an afterthought, "Be my boyfriend." It wasn't so much a question as it was an order.

"…Wasn't I already?" Naruto sniffed, elbowing him in the gut and stalking past him with his nose in the air. He heard the raven chuckle and smiled in response. Nothing had changed…except that after work, he could go home to Sasuke's and he wouldn't be able to kick him out of _their _bed.

He snuck a look back over his shoulder and couldn't help but beam as he saw Sasuke welcoming a customer with his usual, disinterested look that women seemed to find fascinating. He really couldn't see himself ever being without that guy.

Love, huh?

As he looked up at the pictures on the wall, he was reminded of why he loved it; how love was so powerful and unpredictable, and so obvious to the world –like how everyone had known that Shikamaru and Temari loved each other despite being such opposites.

And, like with Neji and Gaara, it could turn cynics into believers. It gave hope to those who had been used and left hurt, like Deidara. And no one, not even Itachi Uchiha could hide from it –as much as he liked to think he could. And then there were people like himself, who had looked for it their whole lives, only to find that it had been waiting for them the whole time.

It was full of surprises. Sometimes it was instant. Sometimes it took time. Sometimes it started as something physical, and sometimes it started just as friends. Sometimes it stared you in the face and you could chase it, but sometimes, you just had to close your eyes and fall, because looking for love, and finding love, were two very different things.

* * *

**Ahh, endings are hard, and endings are sad. But this one was happy, I suppose! **

***sigh* It's finally finished. Sorry that it dragged out. This whole story actually turned out a whole lot different from how I'd intended it to, but I like it; hope you did too! **

**All my love**

**xx K**


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